One of my fondest memories of playing Megaman is pitching the controller across the room, screaming in blind fury as I miss a jump on Airman's level after sixteen hair-raising near misses and go plummeting through the clouds to my little robot doom. However, all that is negated by the very existence of Bob and George, the Comic Strip!
This webcomic is over, apparently. Completed before I could get to it. This is the only redeeming quality it possesses. Pretty much, anyway. If we head back all the way to strip number one (a shocking seven years ago!) we see that this Megaman shit was never meant to be. It was a placeholder, for a drawn webcomic. A shittily drawn webcomic with a Godawful plot, I add, but more on that later. After a few incidental strips, we get to the meat of Bob and George: the first game parody storyline.
Despite the poor art, Comic Sans (DO NOT USE THIS FUCKING FONT) text and average jokes, it wasn't so bad. Remember that this was the far-off year 2000, and sprite comics weren't (for some reason) an all-encompassing plague. You had a decent enough plot: Dr. Light is a fucking moron, Dr. Wily is an evil fucking moron, Proto Man is the straight man. Then, something happened. David Anez, a curse upon his name, decided the best thing to do would be to put himself in the comic.
Now, there is something to say of the nature of creativity. How creating a fictional world makes you akin to a creator god. You could say that, sure - if you were fucking nuts. It's a fucking story. It's not real. I don't give a fucking dick's shit how many readers there are, how fucking huge it is - every fictional world is exactly that, fictional. Calling someone the god of a fictional world is a fucking retarded thing to do, especially when you're talking about yourself.
He does this even when the shitty drawn crap starts up. This shit is about as bad as bad can be. Seriously, it's terrible. Just look at that shit. It's trite, cliché balls. It's the kind of shit that 13-year-olds doodle in class when they're supposed to be learning about George Washington or whatever. Here's the thing about webcomics, folks: if you feel you have to make excuses and apologise for your shitty art, don't fucking draw anything in the first place. If you're bad at art, you have two choices: don't make a webcomic, or get someone else to draw shit for you. Then again, a partnership usually leads to a gaming webcomic so just fucking quit while you're ahead.
Despite a resurgence later, Anez settles on Megaman parody shit for the comic. Shockingly, it's actually amusing at times. There is something there, a seed if you will, the potential to become a good webcomic. Everyone knows the Megaman games, or at least everything up to the Wily stages because there's that one fucking robot master you can't beat. There's also a lot of Megaman games. You could do them all, have a laugh and then finish the webcomic with the last game and move on to something new with experience under your belt and your name associated with good webcomics. It's what all webcomic jerks should aspire to.
But, no. It was not to be. Despite going through that, we happen across the next atrocity in the long list of Bob and George's atrocities: Anez as a recurring character-slash-plot-device.
Let's ignore the shitty resurgence and move right on to why Bob and George fucking sucks on a level that black holes are envious of. You've got: introducing Bob and George as recurring characters, throwing in shitty references to his "fan comics" for no reason other that to initiate circlejerk, fucking shitty original characters, being all "grim and gritty" with a lighthearted game plot twisted to have swearing and violence and death and all that retarded shit...
No, actually, I think I can pinpoint the exact moment that Bob and George goes to shit. The exact moment that it dawns on you that it's a worthless pile of shit that's only going to get worse. It's the strip for January 1st, 2002. See Anez having not only put himself in the comic, but also his fucking girlfriend. Who is saying "nyu".
Fucking. Hell.
I mean, seriously, are you some weeaboo fucker? As in, literally fucking a weeaboo? Is that it, Anez? Ugh. Here's the thing, Internet: any webcomic that uses the term "nyu" should die. Its creator should die. Everything relating to it should die. Sear it from reality, leaving only a blackened hole of nothingness with radioactive edges. Nuke it from orbit, kill it with fucking fire, all those clichés and more besides. "Nyu" is not to be used by anyone, ever - including people from Japan.
You also have him taking some shitty fan-made character and ramming him into the Megaman 4 plot, violently and unlubed. This is pretty lame and makes it tiresome to read, what with the fucking useless shit being given waaaay too much screen time, but to be honest at this point it's just adding to the mountain of shit the webcomic has become.
Because we get to the very summit of this shit mountain by 2004, where we see fucking Sephiroth Man with magical voodoo powers being all grim and gritty like it's fucking storytime with Frank Miller. The Wikipedia article on Bob and George (thus cementing that they will allow any old piece of shit on that useless nerd repository) says this of him:
Yes, folks, the "author" (with a capital A, no less!) shit is back with a fucking vengeance. Anez has turned his little Jehovah-Sue self-insertion into a fucking institution. Not to mention MATRIX JOKES!!!! Five years after the fact. Not quite Buckley levels, Anez, but keep trying!!
So we have the webcomic degenerating into, essentially, Dragonball Z with (somehow) even more exposition. Call me crazy, but that's not the kind of thing you want to emulate. I mean, maybe I'm just biased because I'm capable of writing subtlety, that I assume the reader can figure things out without me having to beat it into them with fifty fucking paragraphs of expo-gab. Also because I enjoy works that don't treat my ass like a fucking mongoloid who has to be taken through every obvious point as if it was a fucking paint-by-numbers tale.
I suppose, really, I could sum up the entire thing by showing you this. It's the end of the webcomic and it's the fucking most retarded thing I've ever seen - and I've read Dominic Deegan and Ctrl+Alt+Del and Pastel Defender Heliotrope. To anyone who hasn't read the comic, or much of the comic, you'll probably just kinda watch it and laugh, thinking to yourself "What kind of fucking stupid bullshit is this?" To long-time fans, I guess this is probably the equivalent of a kick in the balls for you.
Actually, I suppose that's wishful thinking. Over the last few weeks, if I've learnt anything, I've learnt that there are people out there who will swallow mountains of shit and beg for more. Even shitty storylines vindicating rape or childfucking have you wanking about your beloved Creatrix - why should an "Author" be any different? Bob and George fans are probably high-fiving each other as they wipe those last few stray pieces of corn from their lips, talking about just how great it all was. They'll probably say "nyu" as well, I just know it.
So, there you have it. Bob and George, one of the worst fucking webcomics ever. It's right down there with Deegan and CAD and all the rest, and that glimmer of potential it had makes it all the more depressing. Don't read it.
This webcomic is over, apparently. Completed before I could get to it. This is the only redeeming quality it possesses. Pretty much, anyway. If we head back all the way to strip number one (a shocking seven years ago!) we see that this Megaman shit was never meant to be. It was a placeholder, for a drawn webcomic. A shittily drawn webcomic with a Godawful plot, I add, but more on that later. After a few incidental strips, we get to the meat of Bob and George: the first game parody storyline.
Despite the poor art, Comic Sans (DO NOT USE THIS FUCKING FONT) text and average jokes, it wasn't so bad. Remember that this was the far-off year 2000, and sprite comics weren't (for some reason) an all-encompassing plague. You had a decent enough plot: Dr. Light is a fucking moron, Dr. Wily is an evil fucking moron, Proto Man is the straight man. Then, something happened. David Anez, a curse upon his name, decided the best thing to do would be to put himself in the comic.
Now, there is something to say of the nature of creativity. How creating a fictional world makes you akin to a creator god. You could say that, sure - if you were fucking nuts. It's a fucking story. It's not real. I don't give a fucking dick's shit how many readers there are, how fucking huge it is - every fictional world is exactly that, fictional. Calling someone the god of a fictional world is a fucking retarded thing to do, especially when you're talking about yourself.
He does this even when the shitty drawn crap starts up. This shit is about as bad as bad can be. Seriously, it's terrible. Just look at that shit. It's trite, cliché balls. It's the kind of shit that 13-year-olds doodle in class when they're supposed to be learning about George Washington or whatever. Here's the thing about webcomics, folks: if you feel you have to make excuses and apologise for your shitty art, don't fucking draw anything in the first place. If you're bad at art, you have two choices: don't make a webcomic, or get someone else to draw shit for you. Then again, a partnership usually leads to a gaming webcomic so just fucking quit while you're ahead.
Despite a resurgence later, Anez settles on Megaman parody shit for the comic. Shockingly, it's actually amusing at times. There is something there, a seed if you will, the potential to become a good webcomic. Everyone knows the Megaman games, or at least everything up to the Wily stages because there's that one fucking robot master you can't beat. There's also a lot of Megaman games. You could do them all, have a laugh and then finish the webcomic with the last game and move on to something new with experience under your belt and your name associated with good webcomics. It's what all webcomic jerks should aspire to.
But, no. It was not to be. Despite going through that, we happen across the next atrocity in the long list of Bob and George's atrocities: Anez as a recurring character-slash-plot-device.
Let's ignore the shitty resurgence and move right on to why Bob and George fucking sucks on a level that black holes are envious of. You've got: introducing Bob and George as recurring characters, throwing in shitty references to his "fan comics" for no reason other that to initiate circlejerk, fucking shitty original characters, being all "grim and gritty" with a lighthearted game plot twisted to have swearing and violence and death and all that retarded shit...
No, actually, I think I can pinpoint the exact moment that Bob and George goes to shit. The exact moment that it dawns on you that it's a worthless pile of shit that's only going to get worse. It's the strip for January 1st, 2002. See Anez having not only put himself in the comic, but also his fucking girlfriend. Who is saying "nyu".
Fucking. Hell.
I mean, seriously, are you some weeaboo fucker? As in, literally fucking a weeaboo? Is that it, Anez? Ugh. Here's the thing, Internet: any webcomic that uses the term "nyu" should die. Its creator should die. Everything relating to it should die. Sear it from reality, leaving only a blackened hole of nothingness with radioactive edges. Nuke it from orbit, kill it with fucking fire, all those clichés and more besides. "Nyu" is not to be used by anyone, ever - including people from Japan.
You also have him taking some shitty fan-made character and ramming him into the Megaman 4 plot, violently and unlubed. This is pretty lame and makes it tiresome to read, what with the fucking useless shit being given waaaay too much screen time, but to be honest at this point it's just adding to the mountain of shit the webcomic has become.
Because we get to the very summit of this shit mountain by 2004, where we see fucking Sephiroth Man with magical voodoo powers being all grim and gritty like it's fucking storytime with Frank Miller. The Wikipedia article on Bob and George (thus cementing that they will allow any old piece of shit on that useless nerd repository) says this of him:
An Author from another dimension who wears a helmet which restrains his powers. He looks like the Author wearing a helmet, underneath which he has dark gray Sephiroth-style hair.
Yes, folks, the "author" (with a capital A, no less!) shit is back with a fucking vengeance. Anez has turned his little Jehovah-Sue self-insertion into a fucking institution. Not to mention MATRIX JOKES!!!! Five years after the fact. Not quite Buckley levels, Anez, but keep trying!!
So we have the webcomic degenerating into, essentially, Dragonball Z with (somehow) even more exposition. Call me crazy, but that's not the kind of thing you want to emulate. I mean, maybe I'm just biased because I'm capable of writing subtlety, that I assume the reader can figure things out without me having to beat it into them with fifty fucking paragraphs of expo-gab. Also because I enjoy works that don't treat my ass like a fucking mongoloid who has to be taken through every obvious point as if it was a fucking paint-by-numbers tale.
I suppose, really, I could sum up the entire thing by showing you this. It's the end of the webcomic and it's the fucking most retarded thing I've ever seen - and I've read Dominic Deegan and Ctrl+Alt+Del and Pastel Defender Heliotrope. To anyone who hasn't read the comic, or much of the comic, you'll probably just kinda watch it and laugh, thinking to yourself "What kind of fucking stupid bullshit is this?" To long-time fans, I guess this is probably the equivalent of a kick in the balls for you.
Actually, I suppose that's wishful thinking. Over the last few weeks, if I've learnt anything, I've learnt that there are people out there who will swallow mountains of shit and beg for more. Even shitty storylines vindicating rape or childfucking have you wanking about your beloved Creatrix - why should an "Author" be any different? Bob and George fans are probably high-fiving each other as they wipe those last few stray pieces of corn from their lips, talking about just how great it all was. They'll probably say "nyu" as well, I just know it.
So, there you have it. Bob and George, one of the worst fucking webcomics ever. It's right down there with Deegan and CAD and all the rest, and that glimmer of potential it had makes it all the more depressing. Don't read it.
87 comments:
- THat was aterrable comic, I wish i could see thatr flash at the end.
- I wish I could un-see it.
- So, John, if you dislike self-insertion, then what do you think of Grant Morrison's run on Animal Man?
- I think that's possible the worst argument I've ever heard in my life. Please don't tell me you are comparing Grant fuckin' Morrison to some douchebag with a webcomic.
- High quality, as always. I don't hate the "self-insertion" idea so much as seeing the self-inserted God-like character saving the day when the other characters can't. Mary-Sue bullshit like that is just stupid and unnecessary.
- I actually did read that comic for a while, namely because I started reading it when a parody storyline was going on. Those weren't bad. But the other storylines quickly grated my nerves and I stopped reading it. There are no words in the English language to describe that ending. Dear God...
- I was half expecting a comment that was just "nyu" by now. You guys aren't on the ball today. But seriously if anyone posts that I'll just delete it.
- I nyu you were waiting for the nyu comments!
- Huh, another comic I used to read. I think I stopped following it sometime in 2002. Isn't this the first comic that you've admitted amused you at times? Oh yeah, and if I read through the past few years do you think that ending animation would make anymore sense? Why not do an easy post next and do some of the sub-comics on Bob & George, especially from the crackers that speak fan-girl Japanese.
- I am begging you to do Megatokyo. Weeaboo is always hilarious.
- "I mean, maybe I'm just biased because I'm capable of writing subtlety, that I assume the reader can figure things out without me having to beat it into them with fifty fucking paragraphs of expo-gab." You mean, like the idea that a webcomic is bad? I despise the perversion of the word weeaboo that 4chan wankers have created. It sullys the name of PBF, one of the few good webcomics in existence.
- creighton, I said that Shortpacked amuses me long before I said anything about Bob and George. Also, while it might make more sense to have read everything, I wouldn't recommend doing it. Do something less painful that's a better use of your time, like watching a coyote gnaw your arm off. dirk, writing fiction is not the same as writing reviews. Especially not writing reviews of webcomics. People adhere to webcomics in a way that makes saints look wishy-washy in their convictions. In order to convince anyone of anything, I have to throw subtlety to the wind and beat the knowledge into them with a fucking sledgehammer. And while it's simply fascinating that you hate the term "weeaboo" used to mean "Wapanese retard", I'm pretty sure I don't actually give a shit. Oh well!
- John Sololame thinks his readers are retards. Makes me want to agree with everything he says!
- Wow. What a stupid, pile of crap you elitist prick. You don't know freaking anything. Your comments are wrong. Your review is wrong. Seriously, you didn't get anything right about the comic, didn't get anything about it. Even the freaking ending you didn't get, you retard. It's an anti-climax, you twit, something which was common in the strip. You miss the point of the comic, you miss the humor and parody of the comic. You're a retard who's a giant troll and the only reason I noticed you was because, ironically, an ad agency that the Bob and George site uses referred to you as a low ranked link.
- Awesome, dude. That last comment was pretty fucking trite, and sums up what all of the other dissenting retards have said. Except one thing. No *evil smirk* or the like. Good show.
- i missed the part where john said he hated the ending because it wasn't climactic enough
- Awesome job. XD I remember finding that comic once years ago, and thinking, "WTF is this crap?" and moving on. Aaaand for people taking his blog so seriously as to comment on how "wrong" his review was without any support justifying that he is indeed wrong, Get a Life. You're getting upset because a person on the internet insulted a comic on the internet. Woo, you showed him! He pointed out exactly why the comic was bad. He supported it. He gave examples. That's why I like this blog- if you can get over yourself when he insults something you like, you can see he's making valid points. The rest is just funny.
- http://tmi-comic.com/ Do it.
- Jesus fucking christ, I had never seen tmi-comic.com before in my life and now I can't look away. It's ... so ... horrible. And if you go back 5 days or so in it, you get to see the author in all his fat bald ren-faire glory in a kilt with the label "Teh Seksay." Seconding Tim. Add tmi-comics to the list. Oh, and it uses comic sans. Natch.
- "It's an anti-climax, you twit, something which was common in the strip. You miss the point of the comic, you miss the humor and parody of the comic." We know what it is. That doesn't make it funny. It's not automatically good because it's an anti-climax.
- John Sololame thinks his readers are retards. Makes me want to agree with everything he says! The moment I start having anything but contempt for the majority of people who read this blog - the very same people who leave retarded comments like yours - is the moment I start pandering to an audience of fucking idiots, and then I become no better than the webcomic jerks I have set out to ridicule.
- Sprite comics really are on their very own special level of horrible. Also boo hoo you just don't "get" it and I'm a huge blubbering vagina blah blah. Nyu.
- eh, I can see how the "nyu" comic can be taken out of context five years later. The nyu girl wasn't his girlfriend, she was a local artist on the site. The helmeted guy wasn't supposed to be him either but I guess that doesn't matter. ah well.
- Oh John you're such a GOONY GOON GOON
- Wait, what? That wasn't the author OR his girlfriend. In fact, if you move your eyes slightly to the right, you'll see the ACTUAL author. That helmeted guy is actually the Sephiroth guy.
- "Oh John you're such a GOONY GOON GOON" gb2gbs all of you
- I have a feeling that I'm better off not knowing, but what is "nyu?"
- I think the strangest thing with these bad webcomics is to visit their forums and see how many actual, longtime devoted fans they have. One for Bob and George, for instance: "His following was unbelievable, and after seven years, it is sad to see that he has ended his masterpiece." I guess I just don't get it. Maybe some of these strips, terrible as they can be, are a lot easier to handle in a weekly dose? Or maybe readers get drawn into the forums and communities built around these bad comics, and just sort of stick with them out of some sense of misguided loyalty and devotion? Or maybe they are just knuckle-dragging fucktards.
- "...Keep trying, Anez!" You magnificent bastard, you stole my line.
- So, do the ditech commercials with the slogan "people are smart!" also make you break into bitter, sarcastic laughter? I like to think I'm not alone.
- Chris P., the history of the word "nyu" begins in 2000, when Yukihiro Matsumoto (of Ruby fame) started work on a new project, codenamed 乳, an archaic word for milk. By itself it is normally read as ちち, however the denizens of 2ch found it immensely funny to combine an ASCII rendition of a cat (Matsumoto's favorite animal) with the alternative reading of にゅう. This quickly became a meme on 2ch and spread to English sites, where it was misinterpreted as a kitten saying "nyu". Among the American otaku of the time, it quickly spread as a cute cat sound, and has remained in common usage to this day.
- I agree, unfortunately. I read that comic to the end (along with a lot of those others you hate, mostly out of habit to be perfectly honest, even crap helps pass the time), if only because when they actually followed the plots of the games it were pretty entertaining. Anytime Bob, George, one of the countless fan characters, or the Author appeared in the comic, it just sucked all the humor out of the strip. If only he had just stuck with Megaman characters... And that ending was horrible. Total shit, and this comes from someone who WAS a reader and DID "get" it. (this is mostly directed at that idiot from earlier in the comments)
- i used to read bob and george, but fortunately i cut that shit out after a few weeks. those were sour times. i have an acquaintance who wrote a terrible bob & george knockoff at http://iwd.fetchquest.com/. if you just haven't had enough shitty megaman sprite comic (i'm sure you have, but y'know) go knock yourself out! this one has also ended, which is probably for the best. also i hate "weeaboo", but mainly because i hear otaku idiots using it to refer to themselves "ironically".
- nice one. this also touched a bit on my early days of reading webcomics, cus i used to read this one. I don't know what compelled me to stop. All the confusing storylines? I was half expecting a 1,001 characters to show up in that final flash animation comic and be really confusing cus that's probably what it felt like just reading it. do you think you'll be doing sluggy freelance? i forget what you had to say on this matter.
- Man...Bob and George used to be good. I'm sure some would disagree, but at one point it was funny. It got real shitty over the past few years, though. Dave is a nice guy, too. He may do that self-insertion thing everyone hates, but I've never had a problem with that, especially when it's done well (B+G doesn't do it well, don't get me wrong. For a good example, read The Dark Tower). The Author always seemed like a real, fleshed out character to me, despite his god-modding and mary-sueness. Still, B+G is terrible now, and deserves to be riffed. Great job as usual, Solomon, even if you did get a few facts wrong. That's coming from a longtime B+G reader, if it matters. And Solomon was right, the ending sucked. It wasn't like being kicked in the balls, it was like having your balls squeezed into mush, then ripped off your body, and then having a rusty knife stabbed through the wound. And then you're ass-raped, just to fuck with you. I wasted dozens of hours reading that comic, and that is what I get for it? Anonymous, you're a fucking retard, and I hope you choke on Anez's cock while you're sucking him off, you tool. The world would be a better place with idiots like you dead.
- "Anytime Bob, George, one of the countless fan characters, or the Author appeared in the comic, it just sucked all the humor out of the strip." This was pretty much the biggest stupid thing he did. I was reading his webcomic not the 20,000 stupid shit fan-comics on his horrible forum. It was just pandering to the fans.
- You want to see a bad webcomic with far too much author self-insertation? Read 'Real Life'. THAT is quite simply one of the worst webcomics ever. I occasionally check the site just to see how much worse it's gotten. It's like watching a car wreck: horrible, but damned if you can't take your eyes off of it.
- for another terrible sprite comic with way too much self-insertion, try Planet Zebeth. http://www.kabutroid.com/planetzebeth/
- Chris P.: "Nyu" is a secret code word uttered only by people who desperately want to be punched in the face, extremely hard... and repeatedly. Should you ever come in contact with someone who says this magic word, now you know what to do! LET'S MAKE SOME DREAMS COME TRUE, PEOPLE
- ATTENTION: NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU NYU
- Out of curiosity, what webcomics out there would you reccommend to us?
- "You want to see a bad webcomic with far too much author self-insertation? Read 'Real Life'. THAT is quite simply one of the worst webcomics ever. I occasionally check the site just to see how much worse it's gotten. It's like watching a car wreck: horrible, but damned if you can't take your eyes off of it." Okay, hold on, I have to defend Real Life here. The whole point of Real Life is self-authorization with some exaggeration. It's the entire design around the comic. It is what it is. It's not like Dean is throwing the self authorization into a comic that shouldn't have it. That's when it's bad, but in this case, it's the entire concept around the comic.
- What Mike said.
- Mike misses the point where the premise of Real Life Comics is fucking retarded. Just because it's intentional doesn't mean it's not idiotic.
- Mike, that may well be, but it doesn't change the fact that real-life is one of the shittiest long-running comics there are. Greg Dean is unfunny and so fucking lazy that when he got a new girlfriend, he just redrew his old girlfriends template with new hair. Also, I really fucking love how after all these years, he still can't drawn hands and doesn't even bother to try.
- Conway, I'm not disagreeing with you on the hands or the reuse of images points. He's even admitted to both of those on numerous occasions. I'm not gonna debate whether or not you find the comic funny because that is totally subjective, but basic of my point is that the self authorization is the premise of the comic, not just some jackass artist throwing it in to be self important. That's all.
- Real Life is AWESOME.
- Out of curiosity, what webcomics out there would you reccommend to us? I'd recommend SHUTTING THE FUCK UP because I've already said that this blog is about bad webcomics, and I won't sully the good by talking about them here. As for those people who hate Real Life - rejoice! Because it's on my list of shitty, terrible webcomics that need to be reviewed. Because it is a shitty, terrible webcomic, people. You seriously can't defend the shittiness of it without making yourself look like a fucking idiot.
- Nip and Tuck. Do this one, please. Insanely far-right furry webcomic, written by notoriously insane drama whore Ralph Hayes Junior. And Jesus Christ, Bob and George is terrible. That flash at the end made my brain cells commit mass suicide.
- "It's an anti-climax, you twit, something which was common in the strip." I, unfortunately, admit to reading Bob and George over the years. But the ending was horrible. No seriously. Stop fooling yourself. In fact, most of the last... half of the whole comic was pretty bad. Really.
- You REALLY need to rip on Felm because James Grant is probably one of the biggest wastes of human life next to Buckley and Greg Dean. Grant's crappy art, crappier stories, and his crappy portrayal of himself as a long-haired Goth creep with God-like powers is really pathetic even beyond the shit Buckley does.
- Whoops, meant Flem, not Felm, but either way, it's such a shitty comics that words like shitty still fail to describe how abysmal it is.
- John, when you rip Real Life comics a new one, don't forget to mention how shitty the guy is at drawing hands. In every fucking scene the guy has ever drawn, 99% of the people stand there with their hands in their pockets. It's fucking ridiculous. Real life, my ass.
- Tom, it is the real-life of a socially awkward nerd and their fugly friends and girlfriends. They're probably all playing pocket pool all the time too, think about that the next time you lay your eyes on that dung heap. And no, in this case, humor isn't subjective. Real-life is about as funny as having nails shoved through your balls while staring into the abyss that is Greg Dean's mind.
- If you take on the creeptastic, anti-hilarious waste of semi-decent drawing talent that is Wapsi Square I will have your fuckin' babies. Please don't forget to salute the Wapsi forum regulars (who seem to think that beating off to cartoons is something to brag about) or the soul-curdling circle-jerking horror that is the "Wapsi Girl" Project. You'll probably also get some really fucking amusing hate mail from the self-righteous, sexually alienated lackwits who gleefully lap up every drop of thin, watery shit that leaks from Paul Taylor's anus. Can't lose!
- Oooh, I read Real Life through once. The early stuff was completely forgettable. The middle stuff had some things I chuckled at, but as time went on there were less and less characters until it was just like him and his girlfriend or whatever moving somewhere. It's like you could feel dullness seeping from his life through the browser window. That's not something anybody wants to read. The pockets thing is just kind of awkward.
- "weeaaaboo"? Did ED or 4chan bit your arm somewhere?
- Ye flippin gods, you Actually eat every single word this person speaks ? See, the very one thing every person no matter how poor or rich they are should have, is their own freaking opinion. This dude just drank way too much coffee, can't take a joke and just rips upon other peoples succes ... If you think Bob and George ( a Very good comic ) is bad just because thise guy, then you are no less than a cheap Paris Hilton rip off ...
- "Ye flippin gods, you Actually eat every single word this person speaks ? See, the very one thing every person no matter how poor or rich they are should have, is their own freaking opinion. This dude just drank way too much coffee, can't take a joke and just rips upon other peoples succes ... If you think Bob and George ( a Very good comic ) is bad just because thise guy, then you are no less than a cheap Paris Hilton rip off ..." This is a fakepost, right? And even if B&G had taken advantage of that brief glimmer of potential it had, it would still be considered a blight upon the internet for promoting thousands of 12-25 year-old shut-ins to produce their own megaman sprite comics. I hate to hold it against Anez, who's a rather nice guy, but he's got some serious blood on his hands for that.
- Oh, man, I used to love Bob and George back in the day. If anything, this blog post shows me just how much I've changed over the years. Keep up the great work, John. Nyu.
- Will you be reviewing any comics from that extra special bad category of "made with Poser"? The characters in these things are so goddamn creepy with their dead eyes and wooden expressions. I'd rather see crappy attempts at drawing than those soulless zombie abominations. Run a search for Furry Exodus and see what I mean. Bonus points on that because it's also a furry comic. Have eye bleach on standby.
- John Solomon, don't ever stop. Continue indefinitely. To that end, let me recommend "Boy on a Stick and Slither" as a potential subject for a future post. This "comic" deserves your tear-down.
- People, much as your desire to see webcomic jerks mocked warms my cold, black heart - stop introducing me to bad webcomics that I have never seen before. I need respite, to rekindle my joy of life. Too much of this shit is going to kill me. Also congratulations to the guy who set up a fake "John Solomon" profile on Blogger just to pretend to be me. That was pretty inspired, pity you ruined it by saying some trite and unimaginative shit. C'mon, people, I know that the enemies I make are all fucking retards who read equally fucking retarded webcomics, but seriously. Show some fucking imagination, even if your idols can't. Some days I feel like putting up a Paypal button and see if any of this "herd" I'm attracting have some kind of Pavlovian reaction to it and start sending me bucketfuls of cash for shitty wallpapers.
- also c.b. fuck you fuck you fuck YOU for making me curious enough to see that Furry Exodus shit ugh, it is going RIGHT ON THE FUCKING LIST, seriously
- Funny story: years ago, when I was still new to the internet and thought newgrounds was the funniest thing in the world, I joined the Bob and George forums. Why, you ask? Because, due to Bob and George and its ripoffs, I'd been bitten by the sprite comic bug. "This is great!" I thought."I may be unable to draw well but I can certainly write, and I can probably learn to modify video game sprites to create decent-looking comics in lieu of my horrible hand drawings!" My comics (yes, that's an s) were all terrible by objective standards. But there were comics on the main page of the site that were many orders of magnitude worse than mine. There were comics in the fan section that sucked so much balls that it hurt my brain to even try to read them. For the longest time I couldn't figure out what the fuck I was doing wrong. I'd try to use more photoshop effects, I'd try to change the panel layout, use better fonts, use different kinds of plots... nothing worked. Then one day, it dawned on me: the reason no one cared about my sprites or my comics was because no one on the site really cared about sprites or comics. What they cared about was circlejerking. I mean that in the second most literal sense of the term: how it went was that the moderators and older members of the boards would suck on Anez' cock until they could no longer breathe. Then the lesser members would pick a fancomic, suck up to ITS author, hang out in IRC with all the other authors... it was giant clique. You replied to comics that you were friends with or wanted your sprite to make a cameo in, or that were made by friends of mods. I could never be part of that clique, because I was a negative nellly. I didn't like the overcensored nannying moderation on the boards (no linking to newgrounds because newgrounds has adult ads and there might be kids on the boards! never mind that the main comic is full of swears... Oh, and let's not forget the time Something Awful linked Bob and George as the AloD and upon seeing the uproar on the site as the retards rushed to defend Dave, the mods just deleted the thread to prevent anyone from seeing the AloD in the first place or starting up trouble with SA), I didn't like how if you said anything bad about a forums superstar the entire board would shit on you. And I certainly didn't like alll the bullshit drama.(I remember one time, I mentionned that I really liked one of the fanart girls on the main page, which got a mod yelling at me for hurting the feelings of the other fanart girl on the main page. Like she was going to go into a depression over me commenting on someone else's artwork) And worst of all, I hated how you weren't allowed to point out anything bad with the main comic. Everytime I'd voice a criticism, no matter how I tippy-toed around it to make sure not to fluster anyone, the mods would threaten to ban me and make it clear such comments were NOT WELCOME. I remember it clearly "Actually, (some guy's username), it's not so okay. Dave hosts this message board for fans of his comics. If you're not a fan, don't come here and say negative things about the comic." So there you have it. A community poisonned from the top down. I've heard that those ever-obnoxious mods were also close personal friends of the author, and a lot of the suck in the comic could be traced to them. It's really a crying shame that Bob and George veered from the mildly amusing stuff it was to turn into this bloated monstrosity. And it's a shame the community had all that crap going on in it, because Bob and George is what made webcomics popular. By stifling creativity and criticism in the name of sucking up to Dave and being "nice", those boards and that comic are basically responsible for so many sprite comics being so shitty. If only they'd set the bar a little higher... Oh and by the way, Dave DID put his girlfriend, Liss, in the comic a bunch of times... as did a bunch of sycophant fan authors.
- when I said bob and george made webcomics popular I meant to type "sprite comics" hope everyone knows that
- Thanks for your insight into a morbidly fascinating community I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole. You're a braver man than I. Those kind of forums remind me of those insular, incestuous communities that build up in isolation when nobody's looking. That's really what Anez and Co. are, to be honest: cousinfuckers. The "no negative comments" thing really is disgusting, though.
- Haha, unlike most of these sycophants here I can admit I read this comic. And its subcomics and fancomics. And some of its forum comics. OHSHIT. Seriously, I bet half of you guys commenting secretly jack off to shit like that when you know John Solomon's not looking. :P
- More than one of us will admit to reading/having read a lot of the larger name strips reviewed here. That doesn't necessarily mean it's good, though. I have Megatokyo bookmarked because every strip is a trip further and further into a perverse rabbit hole which will probably end with Character Who Looks Identical To Everyone Else #45273 shacking up with Piro. Perhaps she may not even be underaged by the time this plodding comic ends. I suspect not.
- Shit, even the main page is fucking stupid. Not the first comic. Not the last comic. Just some random comics in 2000. What the fuck?
- Your entire presumption that everything is crap is just a self-loathing attitude. Real nice. Bob and George is funnier than half the crap you post at this pathetic blog, and I hope you understand what a pompous ass you are for it.
- Haha, well Megatokyo just has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. Bad art, bad script, and much money made, all thanks to the power of WAIKAWAIIDESU. But nah, I'm talking about the twelve-year-olds posting who say "yeah wutevar u say mr. johnsolomon-san sir can i likc ur ballz plz?!!" If they're older than twelve they've got no excuse. :P
- Bob and George is funnier than half the crap you post at this pathetic blog How does it feel to be so shamelessly and utterly deluded? Does it hurt much?
- ...you'll probably just kinda watch it and laugh, thinking to yourself "What kind of fucking stupid bullshit is this?" Well, you were right about the second part, anyway.
- Anybody who views the Dark Tower series as a good example of self insertion needs a brain transplant.
- Shit, even the main page is fucking stupid. Not the first comic. Not the last comic. Just some random comics in 2000. What the fuck? It's scrolling through the archives again with commentary being added. A bit yawn/crap, but at least there's an explanation
- I saw this review, and just had to post something. The cat girl saying "nyu", well, I went to high with her. She's about as wapanese as you'd think. Dumpy too. Here are links to her devianTART and Livejournals if anyone wants a good laugh; http://yasuragi.deviantart.com/ (notice the japanese user name!) http://yasuragi.livejournal.com/ (again...) http://www.unholylabs.net/ There you have it. Nyu-girl in a nutshell. God I hated her so much.
- I think you left out the fact Bob and George is the cause for the outbreak of sprite comics, which is a perfect example of unoriginality and theft from copyrighted material. Even the method of obtaining those materials are illegal (which is through hacking and rom ripping).
- I don't think there's anything illegal copyright-wise about using sprites for comics, as it would seem to fall under the "fair use" copyright clause. The companies that make the games the sprites are from certainly don't seem to care, or else they would be threatening the makers of the comics.
- John,excuse me,but..you're an asshole. Truly. Yeah,some of these webcomics you review are bad. Some are even "it's-not-even-laughably-bad" bad. Alot of them are bad. But, I think at some point you just ran out of bad webcomics to pick on and started just picking on EVERY webcomic you could find. You just hate of all of them don't you? Admit it? I think you're looking for a bit too much sophistication. They're fucking webcomics.
- "I think you're looking for a bit too much sophistication. They're fucking webcomics." What kind of excuse is that? Also, way to go on posting on a year old entry you FUCKING CLOD.
- "I don't think there's anything illegal copyright-wise about using sprites for comics, as it would seem to fall under the 'fair use' copyright clause." It's actually a section of the U.S.C., and you'll have to remind me how making a sprite comic constitutes "criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, [or] research."
- I know this is old and everything, but I have to say this, because I just discovered the reviews and everything. I was a long time fan. And I did like the comic. A fair bit. Maybe I'm just easily amused, whatever. But, yes. That ending was a kick in the balls. Which is why I say; Fuck you Dave. Fuck you.
- John Solomon is Charlie Brooker.
- Wow how fucking sad is your life? I mean really. You have to go attention whoring by trying to bash others and all you have is a weak ass blog? After reading the front page I really feel a hate for you. Zomg teh no base in realty teh no gud enuf for me.
- I rather enjoyed Bob and George, but yes, the ending was downright absolute balls. Comforts me that he always tried to improve, though. Is good.
- Tsk, tsk, you people are sad, pathetic souls.You'd have to be a total bigot to display that much aggression towards a simple webcomic. JOHN SOLOMON, do us all a favor, and just drop dead. The world doesn't need another LOSER who sits in front of his computer, masturbating to explicit images of poor, defenseless kittens being tortured, I mean, everyone knows that you do that ALL THE TIME. Ha ha, I bet you suck dick for coke too. I suggest that you seek professional help before you start raping innocent women and children, you creep. I read the comic, it was harmless, and I thought it was cute. There is absolutely no rational explanation as to why you went on a maniacal rant. Congratulations, now we all know how psychotic you are.
