Maybe it's because I watched both seasons of Dexter last week, but I'm beginning to think of myself as a webcomic serial killer. I select my victim, strap it down and then proceed to hack it to bits - and everyone freaks the fuck out. Because God forbid I say one word against a webcomic.
It's funny, you can find hateblogs of all types these days. People bitch about shitty video games, shitty movies and everything else, but none of them ever have to put up with a few hundred people throwing fucking hissy fits just because they said something bad about a movie. Which is weird, because you pay for movies and video games (in principle, anyway) and webcomics are free (in principle, anyway). Why people form these powerful bonds of emotional attachment over something they have no other connection to is as baffling to me as basic empathy to a serial killer, except for that fact that basic empathy has an actual grounding in logic.
So - and know that this is not by popular demand, this is my own decision- I am turning the comments back on. I need to know why you people shit your pants when I say bad things about bad webcomics, and the only way to do that is to study your rampant stupidity. I was going to finish off with "Go nuts" but then I realised you all already are, so nevermind.
It's funny, you can find hateblogs of all types these days. People bitch about shitty video games, shitty movies and everything else, but none of them ever have to put up with a few hundred people throwing fucking hissy fits just because they said something bad about a movie. Which is weird, because you pay for movies and video games (in principle, anyway) and webcomics are free (in principle, anyway). Why people form these powerful bonds of emotional attachment over something they have no other connection to is as baffling to me as basic empathy to a serial killer, except for that fact that basic empathy has an actual grounding in logic.
So - and know that this is not by popular demand, this is my own decision- I am turning the comments back on. I need to know why you people shit your pants when I say bad things about bad webcomics, and the only way to do that is to study your rampant stupidity. I was going to finish off with "Go nuts" but then I realised you all already are, so nevermind.
396 comments:
1 – 200 of 396 Newer› Newest»- I love this blog. It's violently refreshing
- The last review of Chugworth was kind of strange. Of course it's a terrible comic, but I don't think it was very pedo-tastic, and a couple of pictures of his characters with boobs showing on his DA page does not equal "extremely explicit pin-ups." Sure, pick apart the terrible writing, but the art is probably the only thing it does decently. You're also really quick to jump on the ARRGGGH ANIME PEDOPHILES wagon.
- It's delighting to see science and entertainment working together in harmony.
- Of course it's a terrible comic, but I don't think it was very pedo-tastic, and a couple of pictures of his characters with boobs showing on his DA page does not equal "extremely explicit pin-ups." Click here, unless you're at work.
- I know it's crazy and all but you people have to remember that asides from the crazies and passive-agressive webcomic defenders there are some people who post comments who...who...love what you folks do. THERE I SAID IT. I said my most heartfelt saying thing to say. I only wish to express this love of the work done at YWiB in the comments section. PS Chugworth is creepy. Honestly I'd only skimmed the archives before but that review made me want to see and yikes. All of the "jokes" about this or that character being jailbait, handled with all the skill of a horny, snickering adolescent. Though it has it's defenders who are mostly of the "Lighten up, it's all in fun!" position.
- Thank you for what you are doing, John.
- Positive opinions be damned, where the Hell did all my crazies go? Seeing the comments page full of pleasant approval is disconcerting.
- I fucked up the Chugworth review, I admit. I should've expounded a little more on why characters with the faces and minds of five-year-olds and the bodies of pornstars are creepy. I can cope with hot girls who act immature, but the facial proportions in Chugworth just SCREAM "little kid" to me. Maybe it's because I'm a baka gajinn roundeye, but fuck. This is not exclusive to anime (*cough*John K.*cough*) and it's not endemic to all anime and manga. It's just fucking creepy.
- I prefer comments off actually. I'd rather just read the blog. Good work by the way.
- The part where people don't understand why drawing 16-year-old girls with enormous breasts having sex with forty-year-old men is creepy pedo material is the part where I just give up.
- john i'm quite certain that internet dwelling ubernerds- at least the ones you're referring to, you know, the kind of cunts who are both worthless and self-congratulatory at the same time- are not only emotionally stunted retards, but also have massive cases of ADD. you left! and we thought you were dead. give them time, and they will return.
- also, anonymous can eat a dick. comments are awesome, and on of the most entertaining things about any website.
- Where the hell are the crazies? I was expecting the comments to be a fun read. Approval is boring. Usually baiting them increases their feelings of self-righteousness and entitlement and makes them spurt their idiocy all over the screen. Maybe the invitation intimidated them. Hopefully they'll show up in the comments for the reviews. I want to see that train-wreck.
- I am sure the crazy people will come soon. Some people haven't noticed that this blog is back, and some haven't noticed that the comments are back. So, really, all you've got right now are the pathetic nerds that liked this blog so much, they actually checked up on it when it stopped. I'm afraid no one hates you quite enough to be that persistent, so you're stuck with us dorks who like what you write. The other types will be here soon, though. I know why a huge chunk of the webcomic community is that crazy, though. They are convinced that you are anti-webcomic and that this thing that you are doing here is an attempt to destroy webcomics completely (Side-note: seeing that made me realize that restaurant critics everywhere, especially the ones who do not put helpful suggestions for any chef they disliked into their review, are out to destroy Food). Yes, you are a threat to webcomics. An Arch-fiend, really, here to strangle the beautiful eBaby in its Webcrib. They cannot have that, because Webcomics are precious flowers, and must be given room to grow. Then, one day, the world will look at all those webcomics, give a collective gasp, and unanimously declare webcomics as a legitimate form of art - or something of that sort. Is is then, and only then, once the "webcomic struggle" is over, will it be alright for any person who likes webcomics to call any existing webcomic bad. Right now, any webcomic critic who is not kind, loving, and nurturing to even the most blatant of crap (because they could get better, and you just have to be nice!) is just a filthy outsider, out to destroy everything that webcomics are trying to create!. I don't know - something tells me that the way to being recognized as a legitimate art-form by "The Man" (or whatever the point of it is) does not involve surrounding your precious few roses with giant hills of manure. The whole thing also gets really weird when the manure becomes the thing you show off when the neighborhood watch asks to see your garden. Quite a few of the things this Blog reviewed are constantly being passed off as examples of just why webcomics are "so good". Personally, I think you're a much-needed wolf, and it's about time that someone started taking down the lame-legged, cross-eyed, and retarded members of the Webcomic herd. (This metaphor would be more successful if Wolves wrote angry rants that made the retard-deer freak out, post wailing nonsense, then go back to whatever it was they were doing before.)
- Maybe the Culture of Nice is out to get John through more subtle tactics. He's looking for the rabid fans and ignoring the impenetrable web of honeyed words being weaved around him until it's too late...
- So, does that mean you got a fresh heaping load of crazy in your mailbox since you've decided to put your comments back on? Care to share any of that crazy with us, sir?
- Hmmm... You're back. Y'know what else is back? http://gamingguardians.com/ I started reading that comic because, early on, I saw a really friggin' awesome villain design. I don't know how they managed to make a fairly generic Evil Plotting Clown character look awesome, but they did. I maintain that this awesomeness was real, and not just something my brain made up. I kept on reading, just for that. Eventually, the clown died. Then came the evil twin and the time travel. Storylines full of watermellon-shaped boobs followed. Some of those boobs belonged to a female version of the clown, who was really the lead character's mother, and the Clown's mother, because the Clown was him, because of time-travel. Some of those boobs belonged to a psychotic furry. Then, just as I was about to stop being an idiot click off the archives, came a storyline about that Clown in hell. Damn it, maybe I have no taste, maybe I'm a sucker for hell, maybe I have a clown-problem, but I liked it. This forced me to read through even more of the crap that followed. I hate myself for reading through those archives just because I saw a neat-looking clown, and, somehow, kept hoping he would come back. I also hate that comic. I know you do not do requests, but I am throwing it out there.
- A-ha! That's the ticket! If nobody who hates you jerks isn't gonna come along and spout annoying nonsense about whatever perceived "joy" they've gotten from whatever shitty comic you're reviewing this week, then we can at least annoy the piss out of you by making requests for webcomics. The Lounge! Jack! MEGATOKYO!!!!
- I think people don't flip their shit as much over negative book/game/movie reviews precisely because you have to pay (for the most part) to consume them. If you've paid good money for something and it ends up sucking, everyone understands that you are well within your rights to bitch about it. With webcomics, though, the fact that they're free fucks with people's heads somehow -- the artists and writers are doing it because they love it. They're not making any money. Suddenly, you're MEAN if you say their work sucks, because the comic is like their baby and you're kicking its face in. Which is stupid, because I've never seen a baby as horrifying as some of the comics you've reviewed here.
- Love you guys. With penises, and such.
- Thanks for bringing back comments; the bilious rage I feel at the sheer insurmountable stupidity of the cretins who lap up these shitty webcomics makes me feel so alive, goddamnit.
- So, does that mean you got a fresh heaping load of crazy in your mailbox since you've decided to put your comments back on? Care to share any of that crazy with us, sir? I have gotten over 200 e-mails to the badwebcomics account and not a single fucking one was anything but positive. Apparently people are fine with telling me just how bad I am on other forums and via anonymous comments, but don't want to e-mail me about it.
- Maybe it's because people only bother to spew rage at you in the immediate aftermath of your vitriol. Their offense is restricted specifically to avenging their Creatrix, and they're too apathetic to actually get mad at you personally. But at least one person thinks it's plausible that someone would track you down and kill you in your sleep, so maybe not.
- It's because you just returned and no one realizes it yet. It's been what, a week? Just hit a big, popular webcomic and they'll come crawling back.
- Oh, no, enough people have noticed already. Scurrying little well-wishers have been spreading the news all over the place, in forums far and wide. That won't stop me from hitting a few big-name webcomics, though.
- IF U NOT THINK WEBCOMICS R GOOD Y NOT TELL TO THEY'RE FACE
- If you really want to go the Dexter route, you should give a significant chuck of the review AS a horrible webcomic. And I volunteer to draw it badly! Fang Langford
- Why... why did you turn comments back on? Curse you. Not only will the idiotic bullshit return, but my inexplicable compulsion to read it will too. I hope you're happy, you fiend.
- The rabid defense of webcomics over say a video game or movie is actually pretty easy to figure out. It's because webcomic writers rarely get much out of their work beyond fan wank. So they start responding to the fan wank on their multi-category forums which all webcomics have regardless of popularity. And when a comic writer starts addressing his fans like say, Terracciano does on a daily basis treating them like people instead of the mindless sheep they are they start to feel a certain kinship with that writer and suddenly you aren't just insulting their "favoritist thing on Earth" you're insulting their "friend". It becomes personal, and nothing's more vicious than a raving fanboy or fangirl. Movie and game creators are different. They don't thrive on the praise and adoration of their fans, they thrive on the money. They can ignore their fanbase and still know they are there because they still have enough income to pay off their dealers and hookers.
- Apparently people are fine with telling me just how bad I am on other forums and via anonymous comments, but don't want to e-mail me about it. That's because they don't get any "martyr points" for arguments conducted in private.
- "With webcomics, though, the fact that they're free fucks with people's heads somehow -- the artists and writers are doing it because they love it. They're not making any money." Of course, so that's why it's hard to run into a comic that doesn't have a big flashing PAYPAL DONATE or STORE button while you're thrawling through this supposed free experience, clearly they're just sharing the goodness of their heart by giving it all for free and not bugging you at all to support their crap somehow. Shirts, books, animated series, people quitting their jobs, all just to give you a free wholesome experience. Because the internet is such a nice friendly place like that.
- Oh, you should have seen some of the bitching and moaning I received when I said just a couple of bad things about a comic that I partially liked. I can only imagine that the flames would've multiplied a hundred-fold if one of the Elders of Zion had run over the writer/artist with a snow plow. Personally, I keep reading this thing partly out of schadenfreude, and partly out of the fact that there are some webcomics that deserve to be smacked down with a baseball bat of righteousness.
- I know several people who can make a wage equal to one gained at a part-time job off their comics. I know of a few that can make a LIVING wage off their comics. Understand, we're not gonna be going after Stacy's Hobby Webcomic (hosted on SmackJeeves, of course) here. We're going after the people who think their work's good enough to earn money. I think there's a certain type of webcomic fan (or a fan of anything really) that forgets the boundaries between the Self, the Object of Adoration and Creator of the Object of Adoration. It's perfectly alright to be a screaming fanboy/fangirl for something, as long as you remember that that thing's not a part of you and you and the creator have a very incidental and insignificant relationship. I'm a rabid fan of quite a few webcomics myself, among other things, but I'm fully aware that if someone doesn't like it, it doesn't mean they don't like me in general. Har. Armchair psychology much?
- Fuck yes! Comments are back and fuck anyone who dislikes this blog.
- God bless you John Solomon.
- Understand, we're not gonna be going after Stacy's Hobby Webcomic (hosted on SmackJeeves, of course) here. We're going after the people who think their work's good enough to earn money. Surely you're not ONLY going for the profitable comics, right? John promised us that he would tear any comic a new asshole, no matter how tiny. I don't think I could live without reviews of such fanless comics as Minimum Security and Single Asian Female.
- I can't much speak for the others, they have their own ideas of what they want to review, but personally I'm going to tear down every bad webcomic that deserves it.
- SAF was too crazy to pass up. Minimum Security, though, is in danger of being syndicated. It's not as fanless as you'd think.
- Whoa, seriously? That's... insane. It's a failure of sanity. And as long as someone is taking down every bad webcomic he sees, I have no problem with Lilith, Ted, and Mike exercising discretion.
- Your Webcomic is Bad and You Should Feel Bad has always been a beacon of hate outshining the toxic cloud of warm fuzzies known as the webcomic community. I used to read the worst of the worst back when I was young and hadn't developed common sense, so I can appreciate how perfectly this blog nails its targets. I still read more tolerable webcomics, but this blog is always funnier than any of them. I just thought I'd like to let you guys know that you have yet another reader who doesn't ride the short bus every day.
- I'm glad you're reopened the comment section. The comments section is where I discovered Gunnerkrigg Court, after all. Thanks to this blog I actually apply the same critical eye to webcomics that I already did to literature, film, and video games. You know, it's pretty easy to get caught up in a bandwagon "That must be funny because everyone else around here thinks it is" attitude. I think many of the people that were most vocally critical of the blog aren't yet aware of its return, but they'll be back soon, especially now that they can comment. Bingo time, I guess.
- I hope one day one of you has the sheer-bloody mindedness to wade through the 1000 page river of crap that is Questionable Content. After CAD, it's surely the comic least deserving it's popularity- and it's simple-minded fans will go hilariously batshit. Glad you're all back.
- As terrible as CAD is, it's practically a modest proposal in comparison to GU: http://gucomics.com/comic/ This guy is just sad. He actually steals his own jokes.
- It is so sad to watch the meatpuppet fans scramble to defend their god/goddess of all that is wonderful and still claim that they have individuality. In a debate I had with JDR and her collective, they were saying "Oh, we sometimes disagree with Jennie-poo and we are not slaves to her will" then very quickly switching to defending her/him like their lives depended on it with "GASP! THE EVIL ONE SPEAKS ILL OF OUR CREATRIX!? BURN HIM!" Oh, by the way, JDR is apparently still bitter about your review and she called your name silly. Also, the whole death threat thing was just a misunderstanding, so you can now reveal all of your personal information to him for free candy. Keep the awesome reviews coming.
- Also, the whole death threat thing was just a misunderstanding, so you can now reveal all of your personal information to him for free candy. HMM OKAY I BELIEVE HIM
- With webcomics, fans generally have more access to the people behind it than they do with movies, games, books, etc. They get little sycophantic communities backing the comic/creator(s) and form little armies to defend them. When the comic gets bashed, they rush in to flame whoever bashed it, then run back to the forums to say "SEE? I DEFENDED YOU! LOVE ME!" The Broken Mirror was a prime example of that but it's happened with almost every comic here. Well, except, you know, the ones no one cares about anyway like Kismetropolis. Anyway, great to see YWIBAYSFB back. I really missed it.
- I love you John Solomon, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!
- "With webcomics, fans generally have more access to the people behind it than they do with movies, games, books, etc. " You have a point there. For example, if you read this guy's comic, you can't not know what he's doing, what he feels, what legal trouble he gets into, etc. (especially since the site defaults to the personal headlines, not the comic). Though, there are some really good ones that never seem to tell you much at all.
- Frankly, I'm thrilled to see you guys back. And I'm glad to see you lace into that pile of sick that is Chugworth Academy. I'm only sorry there aren't more words in the English language to bash that pandering, pedophilic trash. Thanks to Lilith for taking that bullet for all of us. As for the blog in general, please continue to rock. I salute you.
- I TOO AM ROMANTICALLY INTERTWINED WITH THIS BLOG. It's like a magical adventure into Bad Webcomic Land, with people who aren't retarded. The comments, though... it's like chicken soup. There are the nuggets of meat that are the hilarious retorts, or people who can actually ADD more insight to a webomic's suckosity in an article... but it's all surrounded by the water-like idiocy of fans and whatnot, and boy, can it be depressing, all the shit this people swallow. And all for a webcomic. Ah damn, I don't even have a point. Web blog GOOD. SOLOMON GOOD. ME HAPPY. YAY...
- Damn straight the comments are back on. Half the fun of this blog is watching webcomic fans (And Robert A Howard of Robert A Howard's Tangents by Robert A Howard) throw hissy fits.
- I never thought this little RSS feed would revive... but lo! Some good things return anew. I appreciate the good webcomics even more after reading your unsolicited feedback. It's clear, though, that the haters don't subscribe.
- Where the fuck are the people who like shitty comics so we can make fun of them? This is like preparing your A game for ladies night only to find yourself at a sausage fest instead. 52 comments and not a single one of them defending a piece of shit comic.
- Good to see bad webcomics being torn to bits again. As per Chugworth, I remember finding out a while back that Cheung drew a lot of loli stuff. While that was creepy, never knew about him drawing guro too. Gah, too creepy! >.<
- You mister Solomon, are a masochist... When thinking about why some people go ape shit over your criticism of web comics, it's useful to remember that there's actually kind of a long history of that behavior predating the Internet. Any newspaper editor who has ever tried to remove a comic from his paper can tell you that EVERY newspaper comic somehow has a crazed fan base that will deluge the paper with spittle flecked rants demanding that their favorite daily read be brought back. Comics that haven't had an original joke in decades (family circus) or comics that had one unfunny joke 25 years ago (Cathy) somehow have legions of supporters. People who can't be bothered to vote for their next president will somehow shift themselves to cry havoc if BC gets the ax. Fucking BC, it's not the worst single thing that has ever existed, but god knows it's in the top 10, and yet it has fans. Combine that wellspring of moronic loyalty with the Internet, a place where they can come in contact with idiots just like them, and unite in their crappy, crappy taste in comics, and it's no wonder you have people screaming for your head every time you dare to take some hack down a peg. On a side note, I scared people at work today. I was sorting books at the library and suddenly started swearing violently. I then had to explain why a perfectly innocent comic collection elicited such a reaction. The comic? Minimum Security. From the back cover blurb, apparently Ted Rall thinks it's quite the hot shit too, which makes perfect sense if you've ever read his work.
- I don't have much to say about psychology, but I'm damn glad this blog is back.
- Hey John, can I make a suggestion. If you ever get a chance, do you think you could ever do a webcomic review like Yahtzee does Zero Punctuation? I think having the images of the comic flash up on screen would make going through it a lot easier rather than swapping between browser windows, and I heard that podcast thing you did with a bunch of other goons and you have a really funny sounding voice so I think it could work really good.
- It's good to have you back, Solomon. But, seriously, more Dominic Durgan, please, that thing is a fucking barrel of laughs. An immature, foul-mouthed and not-particularly-sophisticated barrel of laughs that I wouldn't buy T-shirts for, sure, but it still made me laugh enough that I've returned more than once to re-experience it. Also, normally I'm not squeamish, but I'm afraid to look up ugh.jpg. Is it anything that will get me arrested if someone finds it in my cache? Is it more or less bad for a man's sanity than playing fetch with a Hound of Tindalos?
- Hey John, can I make a suggestion. If you ever get a chance, do you think you could ever do a webcomic review like Yahtzee does Zero Punctuation? I don't enjoy stepping on other people's toes like that. Yahtzee has his own style for things, I have mine. Although experimenting with new things isn't out of the question.
- Maybe some of the rabid 'tards haven't figured out how to comment. Follow the Code of Harry, Solomon. Be a very neat monster.
- If you want the crazies to come, do a review of Aoi House. You don't even have to be mean, just say that you don't think it's the greatest thing on the planet and many of the fans will be pissed. Or even Marry Me. The creator gets quite angry and will accuse you of having no taste if you dare question the characterization instead of reading through all the comment sections to find things out. BTW, keep up the wonderful work.
- Do you guys have rhinoceros skin or something, to avoid becoming ill from reading the shit you review?
- I don't like xkcd. There. I said it. It's not a particularly bad webcomic; you could do a hell of a lot worse, but it definitely doesn't deserve the amount of praise it has received. A lot of the time the comics aren't even funny. It will just be a stick figure ranting about some social or political issue in a gigantic text box. Or even worse, the stick figures will start preaching. Sorry, but I can't stand xkcd. It's not that funny.
- >>It's funny, you can find hateblogs of all types these days. People bitch about shitty video games, shitty movies and everything else, but none of them ever have to put up with a few hundred people throwing fucking hissy fits just because they said something bad about a movie. Yes, but they're not a third as well written, and people have this thing where they're scared of people who can write better than them.
- Rather agreed on xkcd not being THAT excellent. But, just so it's said, a webcomic doesn't have to be "funny" to be good, it's possible to have a decent webcomic with a dramatic or tragic plot, I'd imagine. Though, uh, I can't say I've seen it any time in recent memory... So yeah, maybe I don't have much of a point there. Anyway, XKCD. Occasionally decent, rarely great, often really, really meh. Most every OMG DEEP point it makes has been said fifty times before. More curtly and straight-to-the-point in the blatant way, and more poetically when someone wanted to get fancy about it. It's really less that it's bad and more that it's retreading old ground and doing little else. Oh, and hay, Solomon, don't know if you've seen this unfunny prick before, but he's moving in on your gig! Just check out his skillz, man, you might be out of a job soon! Well, I guess you might be if you were completely incompetent.
- Unfortunately, I don't think the haters are going to attack this entry. The haters only focus on the entry about their beloved webcomic(s). Oh, and they also don't think they're crazy, but you can't expect much from the delusional.
- Oh, and hay, Solomon, don't know if you've seen this unfunny prick before, but he's moving in on your gig! Just check out his skillz, man, you might be out of a job soon! Since people keep pointing it out to me, I think I'll have to address the issue: I know of this blog, but I've never read it. I may read it, at some point in the future, when I no longer have anything more important to do.
- When I posted a short blurb that I agreed with the Chugworth review on my blog, Cheung went on a little tirade (against both this blog and my blog) how no one should be reviewing anything they got for free. My first reaction: "That's being pretty defensive over one sentence on my site." Second reaction: "How bad do you have to be to resort to that old chestnut?" Anyway, I love this blog, and hopefully the Elders can keep it going for a long time.
- "No one should be reviewing anything for free"? What the hell? Isn't that basically like saying: "No one should have an opinion they're not being paid for"? Or possibly "no one should have an opinion that they HAVEN'T paid for"? It boggles my fucking mind.
- Chugworth is sold in book form, shitty reasoning utterly destroyed.
- When is Megatokyo coming? Glad to see you guys back, by the way.
- I tend to hate XKCD. Admittedly, most of the comics are just mediocre rather than outstandingly bad, but it has some of the craziest, most pretentious fans I've ever encountered.
- Patrick: it was the second one, actually. As in, "Nobody should be reviewing something they can get for free." Which means that TV show reviewers are doing the devil's work, I suppose. And I had no idea it was sold in book form. Kinda weakens the argument.
- I could pretend to be a crazy webcomic fan, if it would make you guys feel better... "That's funny, I don't see YOUR awesome webcomic anywhere. Maybe you're JEALOUS, 'cuz no one wants to listen to your foul smelly poopy pottymouth, you politcally correct feminazi you. EXCUSE ME WHILST I GET SOME ICE CREAMS."
- Solomon's back .... EPIC FAIL!!!! Heh, just kidding. I'm looking forward to more gems like the one above. This blog is high quality entertainment. Cable TV's got nothing on you John.
- I like XKCD. It fairly consistently amuses me and that's good enough for me. It's the only webcomic I have on an RSS feed. Doesn't mean everyone has to like it. And if you want to say stuff about the fans, go right ahead since I've never really encountered any (unless I count myself).
- Heh, I could give less than a damn about new comments, but I am glad that the old comments from 07 are visible again. I mean, when I was feeling down, and needed to remind myself of how much worse off I could be, there was nothing quite like a page full of incoherent, frothing Dominic Deegan fans, jerking it to underage orc rape, squeeing in chauvinistic glee as Mookie produces one Evil Strong Woman after another and idolizes the broken, pathetic "heroine," to accomplish that.
- I gotta say, you've got a lot of work on your plate. There are so many bad webcomics out there... Like, for instance, probably at least half of those those who joined the Crossover Wars are really, really bad.
- While I think that Zero Punctuation is wonderful and Yahtzee is a bloody genius, I can't see any of the Elders pulling something similar off. Myself, I have pretty bad diction and various speech problems. You know, like a really fucking heavy Russian accent and a high-pitch "Soviet Announcer Lady" voice. I'm pretty sure no one but Soviet fetishists want to hear me speak.
- Awwwww... no Babushka Babe talk for the Comrades. :(
- John, it's great to see you and the gang back. The blog has been missed! And, if it's "pay us for this shite you suckers" webcomics that you're after, let me just once again suggest: http://www.themagnificentmilkmaid.com/home.html Bon appetit!
- I think you should hit Deegan again, have you SEEN the new story arc that Terracciano shat out? An ebil fundamentalist warrior who is Dominic's secret half sister (it had to be a woman of course). Or on second thought, we should urge Terracciano to do a crossover with Der Creatrix, since he's decided to have a religious wackjob as the villain. The kind, good-hearted, oh-so-tolerant Dominic can team up with JDR's oppressed trannie goo monsters to save the multiverse from the evil fundies. Reviewing something like that would sure attract the fanboy faggots.
- Personally, I'm more excited about CAD's latest storyline, in which ETHAN GETS LILAH PREGNANT HOLY COW DEEP CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT AHOY! It's gonna be awesome as we watch Buckley scramble to keep the plot points from various shitty sitcoms straight!
- Robert A. Tangents Howard threw a hissy fit a few weeks ago (Feb. 4) and is taking his toys and moving to a different host because he attracts hate mail, and glych, for the first time in her worthless life, made a good choice and decided that his basement dwelling ass wasn't worth getting spammed over. In another first, I learned something useful at his site. There is a "Rob Howard Hate Club." Where do I sign up?
- When is Megatokyo coming? Nobody cares about Megatokyo, not even Fred Gallagher.
- Nobody cares about Megatokyo, not even Fred Gallagher. Good. Now we can only hope those dick-felching shitheads from AppleGeeks follow suit. Thanks for coming back... aaand that goes to show how crazy I am. I mean, to thank some random people on the internet I've never met(and probably never will, which is fine with me) that they resumed their updates. CRAZY!
- Look at this turd. http://www.thesinangel.com/ Rape in the very first chapter. Little girl resembling Suzy of Chick Tract fame watches her dad get killed violently, then teams up with the murderer. No coherency or pacing. No character development. Stiff, lifeless drawing. Why do people do this sort of thing?
- Hot damn, the blog AND the comments are back? It's like my birthday and Christmas all rolled into one. Though I really miss the fan-tard rants. As for why people are so crazy, John, if you find out I'd love to know. I'm working on a couple webcomics of my own, and frankly, if they turned into a pile of shit like some of the earlier reviews, I'd welcome being bashed upside the head. Why the hell would you want crap associated with your work? It makes no sense to me. On Chugworth - damn, I read it when I was younger, and I kept thinking it was my fault for being socially retarded and not understanding why it was funny. Glad to know it's not me. And for the person babbling about the "ARRGGGH ANIME PEDOPHILES wagon" . . . it's not a wagon when it's true. She's not saying all anime is pedo-tastic, just the idiocy of Chugworth.
- Random fan here. I've been a long time fan of your reviews and well, I think I'll say a few things. First of all, retards don't just defend stupid comics ; FF7 and Halo are bloody, deathly mediocre and yet, achieved holy cow status on too many sites to count. ... and well, since what you bash is sometimes popular and not that obscure, you end up making enemies. Not that I condemn it. Far from it ; I absolutely love your reviews and how you manage to be both funny and truthful. Glad to see your reviews didn't fall into the "Angry Video Game Nerd" trap (lots of swearing =/= good review). I hope to see more of your work in the future. Have a nice day!
- I'm glad you dropped the "it doesn't affect me act of earlier but I have to admit that little bit has actually kind of put me on your side. Reinstating the comments was a cwl move and suggests you love a fight somewhere inside you anyway. My only criticism today is a small amount of ...silliness... on your part. People in movies and videogames get paid loads to make them and we pay to use them so we expect quality products and thus are less inclined to react to someone giving them abuse. It may even save us from wasting money. Webcomics however are a rather selfless act and so bashing them provokes. Besides, because they last longer more emotional attachment is formed to the characters, not less. Besides people do bash movie and videogame bashers. Try bashing Halo in the right place. Or bashing a Halo basher in teh right place
- Webcomics however are a rather selfless act and so bashing them provokes. Besides, because they last longer more emotional attachment is formed to the characters, not less. Well, there are several webcomics made explicitly for money and fandoms (such as my own), and I'm not sure how anyone could get emotionally attached to any Campos or JDR character.
- Your massive ego aside, you're comparing yourself to Dexter? You really are worthless.
- Some least favorites of mine I'd like to see (not a request or a demand or anything, just blue-skying here and if they ever happen to show up on the blog one day, OK) General Protection Fault, one of those slow, lumbering webcomic dinos that somehow still has some fans out there. It has the "shambling attempt at epic storylines" problem, the "hamfisted attempts at dramatic moments" problem and mostly the "not funny at all" problem. Mindmistress - this superhero comic has been around for awhile also and the art is HIDEOUS. Yet it has fans, defenders, well-wishers. Another one that people seem to go crazy for is Khaos Komix which promises readers that only two of the main characters are straight. Too bad none of them are entertaining. Apparently according to defenders it's "gay positive" but that's no excuse for it being positively lame - ha ha I crack myself up.
- That Sonty Mick guy made me remember why I hate the Internet: any asshole who thinks he's hot shit can post his inane doggerel without punishment.
- If you want to see something so fucking bad that you want to die in a fucking railroad accident, then you can do no better than Powerup Comics. http://www.drunkduck.com/Powerup_Comics/ I'd ask you to review it, but nobody needs any help seeing what's wrong with it except for the retarded, probably fake fans.
- Dude, Malethoth, you're an attention prostitute of the worst stripe. Someone reviewing their own comic on a bad webcomic blog was a bit irritating when Solomon did it on this blog, it's downright ridiculous on your blog where you review it while you're still apparently writing it. You're correct that it sucks previously unprecedented quantities of arse, so why don't you stop writing it if you realise what a piece of shit it is? The review just smacks of "HEY LOOK GUYS I CAN REALISE MY FAULTS AND MAKE FUN OF MYSELF".
- You're correct that it sucks previously unprecedented quantities of arse, so why don't you stop writing it if you realise what a piece of shit it is? Two reasons. One: I'm an attention whore of the worst variety. Two: I still have these vague hopes that I'll be able to rip off a bunch of moronic fans and buy a tablet or video games or something. Those are actually the same reason, just worded differently.
- Two reasons. One: I'm an attention whore of the worst variety. Two: I still have these vague hopes that I'll be able to rip off a bunch of moronic fans and buy a tablet or video games or something. Fair enough. I think you'd probably have more success making money with it if you weren't desperately trying to be offensive with it, though. Offended people are unlikely to give you money. I'd say nobody's sub-moronic enough to actually enjoy your comic, but I know it's not true. After all, I'm sure some people enjoy Shredded Moose.
- That's the dream. And offensive = ca$h, if Michael Moore, Fear Factor, and Jackass have taught us anything.
- The moment you review something that is terrible and has thousands of psychotic fans, the crazies will return in full force. There are a few 'highly celebrated' web comics I absolutely despise due to bad art, story ect... but they aren't interesting enough to write ANY review about, positive or negative.
- Keep up the good work jerks!
- you're back <33333 i've kind of been working on a webcomic project lately and boy oh boy has this blog been useful. every time i wrote something pretentious, or drew something poorly, i could hear this little john solomon voice making fun of me i think the finished deal is going to be a lot better, thanks to this.
- Solomon, you fool! Don't you realize that re-enabling comments will only enable people to compliment you, kiss your arse, tell you that your no-bullshit slash-and-burn attitude is sorely needed, and form a big warm fuzzy mutual-hate-sharing circle-jerk around you? Yeah, by now I guess you do. Trust me, you're not the only one who finds this Zion lovefest boring and a bit creepy. If you really want to see some entertaining retarded counter-hate return to your blog comments, I suggest reviewing something by Bobby Crosby. Nothing's more rewarding than taunting the mentally unstable. Otherwise, just keep on eroding my few remaining shreds of faith in humanity by alerting me to the existence of horrible comics I would never have otherwise scarred my eyes and brain by reading. I actually enjoy it, in a sort of perversely masochistic way.
- why the fuck do you care what we think, just shut the fuck up and post reviews and quit pissing and moaning about why people piss and moan about your reviews you critics can be so GAY sometimes i swear
- YES GO AFTER CROSBY, that is a great idea, that fool will come over here himself and provide a perfect case study of insane douchebaggery. If /b/ is coming here, yeah that's a lot of crazy, but it soon becomes a very predictable anarchistic, nihilistic sort of crazy, and it gets boring. Bobby boy would provide more material than Mookie, JDR, Tangent, and Buckley combined. NAIL CROSBY PLEASE!
- I think part of it is they feel like they have a personal connection with the author. Most movies and vijya-games don't have a forum where you ca ntalk directly to the creator. ...It's weird,I actually look forward to when you hate on strips I like. Hell, I still read VGcats
- If you want to see something so fucking bad that you want to die in a fucking railroad accident, then you can do no better than Powerup Comics. Anyone who can't tell that Powerup Comics is a parody of bad webcomics is a fucking moron of the highest degree.
- John Solomon, you suck. You suck so hard, your lips are frequently ejected from your asshole, making big wet slappy noises. You also have a silly name. Happy now?
- Yay, comments! That last XKCD did have a punchline, it was just really dry...
- And if there's one thing I really hate it's that "LOL I suck but I'm so postmodern that I LIKE IT" bullshit. If you haven't got the balls to do something sincerely KNOWING that this doesn't exempt you from some hatred, don't do it. Hatred and contempt are subjective and you should look at them and go 'gee, is this directing my attention to anything I can actually work on?', not 'I SUX LOL'.
- People wanted comments back on because 'team members only' on a blog may as well be 'buttpats and congratulatory wank sessions go here' unless you, you know, actually produce and sell product together. Which you don't. So yeah, comments on ditches the justifiable ivory tower image.
- Ok so, how are you a web comic serial killer? People have to actually pay attention to your rants in order for that to work.. and quite frankly, the only rant in which you might convince the reader that the web comic is bad.. is when critiquing a web comic the reader has never seen. I've seen several good web comics get horrible ratings and rant sessions in which I have to stop myself from commenting and just say "Leave him alone, its not nice to yell at 'special' people" maybe.. now I know this will come to you as a horrible shocker, but maybe you should tell us what you're idea of a good web comic is? What is the standard on which you choose to judge the web comics, in order for something to be bad, you have to have something good to compare it against. You do not. You merely seem to throw together enough insults in the hope that you might actually convince someone that you must know what you are talking about. You don't. A web comic that on it's own has a large enough supportive user base that the artist can support his own bills on just the web comic is a good web comic. Simply put: They know what the people like, and they present it regularly. In a nutshell this is the goal of a web comic, to entertain an audience, and if they are succeeding financially that means they are doing their job well, perhaps it is you who needs your work reviewed.
- "now I know this will come to you as a horrible shocker, but maybe you should tell us what you're idea of a good web comic is? " This blog is about bad webcomics and good ones have no business being here, but if you wanna know what I consider to be a good webcomic, Google "Templar, Arizona". Then compare it to the shit that's been reviewed on this blog. ... As for Mr. Solomon, he's partial to Gunnerkrigg Court. He also liked Shortpacked! before it turned into a melodrama. As he says in the comic's damn review on this site. Someone's not been paying attention, huh? I mean, Christ, it's only the first comic to be reviewed here.
- Dexter, hell. You're Vic Mackey, and that's even cooler. You're not sneaking around dispatching people by night; you're kicking in doors, shoving deserving faces onto hot electric burners, and putting two in the head of every jerk who needs it. Imagine telling the next pedo webcomic author: "Wipe those smiles off your faces, ya shitheads. You don't score points with me bagging twelve-year-olds."
- You DO NOT HAVE to be able to make a good webcomic, or to identify webcomics that are irreproachably good (yeah right!) to slag off bad ones. That's a fallacy propagated by people who desperately want to make criticism go away ;) The question is, 'is the criticism valid?', not 'well what do you consider good then?'
- What is the standard on which you choose to judge the web comics, in order for something to be bad, you have to have something good to compare it against Well, it should maybe have good writing, good jokes, or good art. Hmm.
- OMG I can't believe anyone is still using the "popularity = quality" argument, for ANY type of work. That mentality can't be persuaded otherwise by a logical argument, because the mind that would seriously think "popularity = quality" is a retarded mind by definition.
- "Templar, Arizona" is a bit of an acquired taste. Better than every webcomic covered on this blog, definitely ... but not the greatest. I thought Chapter One spent too many panels showing two people just sitting around and agreeing with each other.
- I have gotten over 200 e-mails to the badwebcomics account and not a single fucking one was anything but positive. Apparently people are fine with telling me just how bad I am on other forums and via anonymous comments, but don't want to e-mail me about it. Or maybe the fact that the post that announced you were turning off comments also said that you probably weren't going to bother reading emails, thus giving everyone the impression that you were only going to read the emails that all but gave you literary fellatio. Or at least that was what I was thinking...
- What is the standard on which you choose to judge the web comics, in order for something to be bad, you have to have something good to compare it against. You do not. You merely seem to throw together enough insults in the hope that you might actually convince someone that you must know what you are talking about. You don't. So, by that logic, unless you have something to eat that's irreproachably good, you can't say something tastes like shit? And before you say "taste is subjective," consider that there are still standards to follow. To follow the above metaphor - even if two people have different tastes in food, they can still agree that shit is not good to eat, because it stinks (which food should not do), is full of bacteria (which food should not be) and tastes bad (which food should not do, again.) Similarly, a webcomic with, say, no attention to basic rules of anatomy, piss-poor characterization, etc. is still shit, regardless of your 'taste' in webcomics. *shudder* And to argue with the "popularity = quality" idea . . . so you're saying that if some deviant behavior becomes popular (hard drugs, shooting oneself in the head, jumping off bridges, etc.) it must be a quality thing to do? I'm sure. Though if the fantards did decide to jump off bridges, it might be fun to watch.
- Or maybe the fact that the post that announced you were turning off comments also said that you probably weren't going to bother reading emails, thus giving everyone the impression that you were only going to read the emails that all but gave you literary fellatio. Or at least that was what I was thinking... I didn't really bother reading any of them, positive opinions or not. Skimmed a few, looked over the ones with competition submissions... but I certainly didn't revel in them. Understand that I don't need to subsist on people's approval of this blog, the same way some webcomic jerks thrive on their fan blowjobs. I know I have a good life, good friends, good job, etc. and all that kind of crap to make me happy. "Random strangers like my shitty blog!" doesn't really come up on the list. If you like my blog, okay, that's cool. If you hate it, okay, whatever. It's only when you start telling me I ought to get murdered for what I do that I start getting irritable. Or when you tell me I'm wrong because you can't be objective about art. I don't care if people like the blog or they hate it, and I don't care if they post comments about it. I'll only really respond to people if they have a question, or if they're being a fucking mongoloid, or if I need to correct them on something. Otherwise knock yourselves out.
- Going back to that Powerup Comic, I found a line spouted by one of its more ardent fans, in what appears to be complete sincerity: "Dude why are you so critical of every last detail This isn't some Skaldian epic of impeccable continuity like Dominic Deegan or something It's just a good-times webcomic Gosh" God, yes. Anyway, going to throw out another bad webcomic for everyone else to gander at: http://www.webcomicsnation.com/ed_gauthier/mredweirdo/series.php?view=single&ID=103538 This motherfucker seems to think he's Jerry Seinfield and Dennis Miller, wrapped up the indie-stylings of Robert Crumb or something. Nevermind the damn withered corpses and MS-paint rectangles that are his compression-artificat-riddled, cut-paste drawings, the writing is what really caps it for me. No need for a punchline, just as long as there's something vaguely observational about youth today or the difference between men's like for comics and women's like for chick flicks. And the main character's stand-up segments... Jesus Christ.
- Going back to that Powerup Comic, I found a line spouted by one of its more ardent fans, in what appears to be complete sincerity: That's me, and it's tongue-in-cheek.
- That's me, and it's tongue-in-cheek. Really? Okay, my bad -- thought it actually was sincere. I shall go hang my head in shame now.
- I am willing, free of charge, to give AIDS to anyone who believes that "free = off-limits for criticism." I am also willing to rape those of you who hold this opinion and are not too fugly or are willing to wear a paper bag before giving you the AIDS. I am also willing, free of charge, to set your place of residence on fire. And since you think things that are free can't be anything but worshipped, you will not press charges against me.
- Really? Okay, my bad -- thought it actually was sincere. I shall go hang my head in shame now. It's fine, it's actually kind of a nice validation to hear that maybe I can be play the role of "rabid fanboy" with a fair degree of verisimilitude.
- Do Questionable Content.
- You know, to be fair, David's whole spiel that webcomics should be free of criticism is being taken out of context. His point was that webcomics, being that there is no fee involved, do not have a conventional market for reviews, as one of the main points of a review is to save money on a bad movie, book, etc. After all, someone can simply click over to a website, read a few panels, and they'll be out of nothing but a couple minutes of their time. Which is kind of true, really, from that perspective... Doesn't change the fact that his comic is justifiably shredded here, though. It also ignores that criticism can provide a service beyond the monetary, providing feedback on what's wrong with the comic. It's necessary, because without it, improvement can be permanently stunted, and then we end up with shit like Dominic Deegan remaining the same stagnant, malformed... thing... that it was from the beginning.
- Are you going to do some more dominic deegan articles soon? That dumbass Mookie has recently done some dumbass "gross" jokes, they are so bad they made me want to die.
- Ok so, how are you a web comic serial killer? They've killed Jesslyn Stormheart and Weird Comix so far
- Hey Solomon, I just wanted to say that I love the blog and I'm glad it's back. Have any of you Elders thought about doing real reviews? Hate blogs are fun and all, but good webcomics need criticism too. I know that's not what this blog is about, but it could make a good side project. Come on, you'd be doing the whole internet a favor.
- This is a good blog but stop being a pussy. There are many widely read and widely regarded webcomics that need 5000 words of bile about them posted here. Come on xkcd (stick men + Linux jokes), Dr. McNinja (ninjas & pirates lololol random!!!), Penny fucking Arcade. Everytime I see these on lists of 'good' webcomics I vomit blood all over my screen.
- Why are people so Crazy? allow me to say this. do to fucked up perceptions of life these people are devestated when confronted by even a little light of truth. Like you open the door to the gas station bathroom that hasn't been washed in 20 years and all the cock roaches run away.
- PS. all the people who sound freindly and are trying to recomend things are ....... lost?
- "I am also willing, free of charge, to set your place of residence on fire." That's awfully generous of you, but I'm afraid it's already on fire. You see, I was cooking myself some lunch, and, well... I set my house on fire.
- "Do Questionable Content." Yes sir.
- Heh, America: The Book got Mallard Fillmore just right. Good use of that, Zion. On another note, YOU SUCK. You suck so goddamn hard you show up on The Weather Channel as a low pressure system. Dear God, post another review. I can't keep making the suck jokes.
- All of you who say xkcd sucks are retards.
- God, you really are a whiny little pussy, aren't you? You write something filled with hate, something that insults, degrades, and the entire time, you act like someone's holding a gun to your head and forcing you to read this, then you have the nerve to wonder why people don't always react with giggles and rainbows? You're either having one over on us, or you're the most clueless idiot to roam the planet. Read one of your own reviews. Really read it, not just charm yourself with your own wit, read it. And try to pretend that it was your comic someone else was talking about. Then, come back and see if you can justify your little, Why doesn't everyone wuve me, whine.
- XKCD is pretentious and overrated shit, aimed at pseudo-intellectuals dipshits.
- I think I'm inclined to agree that Powerup Comics must be an intentional parody. It's so over-the-top with bad webcomics cliches (copy-pasting, GIS backgrounds, gratuitous violence, etc.), that it would almost have to be intentional. Also, the author never seems to acknowledge any of the commentary on it, which is a sure sign of someone who wants people to take it seriously and get a reaction out of them. As someone who is somewhat of a veteran of pulling internet pranks myself, it's easy to spot. If not, well, then this is still the funniest thing I've seen in a webcomic in a damn long time.
- Hey Anon 16:29, you don't seriously think Solomon cares if people don't "wuve" him, do you? Please say your post was a failed joke.
- Hey, John, are the SA forums worth my hard-earned money? y/n
- Emotional attachment to pictures and words is lol.
- Read one of your own reviews. Really read it, not just charm yourself with your own wit, read it. And try to pretend that it was your comic someone else was talking about. I can't, I have talent.
- ^You Filthy liar.
- http://gamingguardians.com/ Good God, the format for that site gave me motion sickness. I had to go lay down for a while.
- Oh boy, whiny faggot alert! >>I've seen several good web comics get horrible ratings and rant sessions in which I have to stop myself from commenting and just say "Leave him alone, its not nice to yell at 'special' people" maybe.. now I know this will come to you as a horrible shocker, but maybe you should tell us what you're idea of a good web comic is?<< Well, I'm not John Solomon, but my idea of a good web comic is something that is well written, well drawn, and doesn't stink to high heaven of awful. Pretty much every comic John has reviewed has lacked these things. >>What is the standard on which you choose to judge the web comics, in order for something to be bad, you have to have something good to compare it against. You do not. You merely seem to throw together enough insults in the hope that you might actually convince someone that you must know what you are talking about. You don't.<< Except he explains in each review WHY the web comic is bad, and why anyone who would read (and enjoy) such garbage is a moron. >>A web comic that on it's own has a large enough supportive user base that the artist can support his own bills on just the web comic is a good web comic.<< By your logic, the Da Vinci code is a good book. The Saw series is composed of good movies. And jumping off a cliff en masse is a good idea because, hey, thousands of lemmings can't be wrong! >>Simply put: They know what the people like, and they present it regularly.<< No, these people know that no matter how shitty their works are, there will always be at least one person with low enough standards to lap it up and ask for more. >>In a nutshell this is the goal of a web comic, to entertain an audience, and if they are succeeding financially that means they are doing their job well, perhaps it is you who needs your work reviewed.<< A BLOO BLAH BLOO BLOO! PEOPLE ARE SAYING MEAN THINGS ABOUT STUFF I LIKE ON THE INTERNET! I MUST RUN AND DEFEND MY HORRIBLE TASTE IN EVERYTHING!
- Wait a second, how do I send John Solomon my pounds of cash?!? There's no paypal donate button! AH BLOO BLOO
- One thing I would like to see here is a skewering of a female-written comic that portrays men unfairly. There is a continual thread here, the attacks on comics that portray women as unusually attractive and highly sexual, which I don't get -- I mean would you rather men drew you as ugly losers who couldn't get any? But if you're going to show this sort of comic, how about posting a review of something written by a misandrist woman? Fair's fair.
- >>There is a continual thread here, the attacks on comics that portray women as unusually attractive and highly sexual, which I don't get -- I mean would you rather men drew you as ugly losers who couldn't get any? No, they'd rather women be characterized as people, not creatures that have a "personality" only in regards to whether or not they are attractive/horny.
- "One thing I would like to see here is a skewering of a female-written comic that portrays men unfairly." Are we counting JDR as a woman here? Because Solomon tore that pile of crazy into fucking pieces. There is a recurring theme of this blog attacking male-drawn webcomics rife with misogyny because there is a recurring theme of male-drawn misogyny that runs rife through many terrible webcomics. Comics as a medium still appeal primarily to dudes, and are still primarily made by dudes, so the chances of any comic written by a woman being popular enough to be discovered and bad enough to be reviewed are slim. Solomon and friends have done an admirable job of beating the living shit out of bad webcomics written by women, like the Broken Mirror. What I'm getting at is, if you want to see a review tearing into misandry in webcomics, you would have to first find a misandrist webcomic that isn't written by JDR (since that's been done). If it's bad enough and the Elders of Zion can be bothered about it, it might make it. It's not like there's this gigantic well of misandrist webcomics that the Elders of Zion have been going out of their way to ignore.
- I love when the misogyny apologists come out. Oh wait--no I don't.
- At the age of thirteen the girl did not no she was going to be raped. She just thought like every body else it wasn't going to happen to her but little did she know that a certain oracle tired of being wrong about the end of the world had decided he had enough. He was going to make a disaster happen ever if it cost him his crystal ball's. TOP OF THE MORNING TO YOU FUCKERS! Coming soon RAPIST! For HIRE... inspired by a dominic durgan production ( if you can call it that)
- At the age of thirteen the girl did not know she was going to be raped. She just thought like every body else it wasn't going to happen to her. Little did she know that a certain oracle, tired of being wrong about the end of the world had decided he had enough. He was going to make a disaster happen even if it cost him his crystal ball's. TOP OF THE MORNING TO YOU FUCKERS! Coming soon RAPIST! For HIRE... inspired by a dominic durgan production ( if you can call it that)
- please delete the first one
- More like, please delete both of them.
- >>One thing I would like to see here is a skewering of a female-written comic that portrays men unfairly. There is a continual thread here, the attacks on comics that portray women as unusually attractive and highly sexual, which I don't get -- I mean would you rather men drew you as ugly losers who couldn't get any? But if you're going to show this sort of comic, how about posting a review of something written by a misandrist woman? Fair's fair.<< hello david deacon how are you today
- Wasn't there an episode in Dexter where the title character, lulled into a false sense of confidence and security, decided to taunt the police with a complicated manifesto meant to throw them into chaos and misdirection? And in the end, it led the FBI inspector to realize that the killer was someone in their department? And now you, John Solomon, are tempting fate in exactly the same way. May God (and JDR) have mercy on your soul.
- Hey, attn: all you faggots who keep whining on about how you want "good reviews" and a list of webcomics these guys like - do you have any idea what would happen if such a list was ever posted? This blog has some of the most terrible, retarded enemies the internet can offer: Deegan fans and Bobby Tangents, among other jerks As soon as Solomon says "hey, I like [whatever]", these weepy broken people will be on it like pedophiles on a lone ten-year-old. They will attack, without basis or justification, what is in all probability the excellent product of hard work and talent. Then they will copy-paste all their misplaced, misspelled aggression onto the forums of the Creatrix and we will have to deal with the knowledge that somewhere, somehow, JDR is jerking off
- Here here, Baron. And I think that's gotta be worth a bingo.
- Well, we're getting some idiots defending bad webcomics. We're also getting some of the old "Ohmygawd, do Penny-Arcade n' Doctor McNinja next!!!! They both suck! SOCK IT TO EM!" moron-crowd, too. Really, just the one so far, and everyone pretty much ignored him. Still pretty dry, though.
- ... Dude. The latest Gaming Guardians involved a bunch of Evil Women (apparently led by Tiamat the Dragon) there to "incorporate" one of the main characters into their organization. They just said they'll have to "do something about his gender", too. I don't think the comic ever leaped over that shark before (the shark that used to be a man but is now female) - but if it's taking that plunge... Well, I think it's starting to look like a really, really good candidate.
- That sounds more like a [crappy] PLOT than actual misandry, if the main character is the one being attacked by the women.
- >>and we will have to deal with the knowledge that somewhere, somehow, JDR is jerking off I didn't need to know that piece of information, baron. Good thing I'm getting better at shutting off any hyper-fed scenarios my brain/mind combo churns out. But please: don't put those letters together again. John, why do you care? People are crazy for a myriad of reasons... let it go, and keep doin' your thing
- John, why do you care? People are crazy for a myriad of reasons... let it go, and keep doin' your thing I need to know how people think. That's my job.
- *Sigh* Your blog is bad and you should feel bad. Face it, you're out of material. You used up all the easy victims back when you started and now you and your cheerleaders have just been trying to stretch "this is kinda dull" to 2000 words in each post. Unless it's Lilith posting, in which case it's one paragraph of actual complaints and then 5 pages of insane feminazi fury over anything that could be interpreted as even slightly sexual. Oh, and I'm sure somebody has already corrected you on this, but the guro page you linked to is not a part of Chugworth, which makes it a non-issue as far as the comic is concerned. And is there anyone among us who _hasn't_ drawn people of the opposite gender horribly mutilated at some point or another?
- >>And is there anyone among us who _hasn't_ drawn people of the opposite gender horribly mutilated at some point or another?<< That...That's a joke...Right?
- Ahahahaha
- "I need to know how people think. That's my job." you massacist and saddist fucker how the hell do you put up with all the bull shit that just comes flowing from these dumb asses ( I am looking at you Elijah) From crazy talk
- Oh, and I'm sure somebody has already corrected you on this, but the guro page you linked to is not a part of Chugworth, which makes it a non-issue as far as the comic is concerned. So you're saying the fact that he does this with characters that look almost identical to the comic's characters is irrelevant? Or the fact that he does it at all? Either way, that's like saying a pedophile's molesting children is a non-issue to any other thing they do.
- 13:55, Holy shit! Well, no surprise. Occasional exceptions aside, Gaming Guardians shows remarkable restraint for a webcomic in that it keeps fetishes backseat to the plot at large. Unfortunately what now passes for plot is the biggest thing wrong with it. The writer for GG takes influence from Modern Age comic books in much the same manner that Mookie takes influence from shonen budget anime- excessively. Characters get stuck in endless 24-hour time-loops until they can make things right. The universe's power-brokers hold meetings in the middle of space. Death is done for drama, and never permanent. The overused devices are all staples of modern comics, and maybe their persistent regurgitation appeals to some people. For those who first read Gaming Guardians because of its unique concept only to find it to be a trojan horse from which comic book cliches poured out, it became alienating. As far as the writer's "wouldn't it be COOL if...?" plot directions go, it feels like the decisions are made not out of childish desire so much as percieved need- the forced, tired plots feel like he believes that rough emulation = success. And so he presses on, justifying his decisions by throwing humbler and less-thought out characters into more serious roles for which they are completely unfit (as if this gives them depth). Never was this more obvious than when a girly-man butler who had previously had all of three pages of screen time was cast as the representative for the Forces of Neutral in the universe and was thereafter refered to by the other characters with 100% respect and seriousness as "The Fop". I'm sure I wasn't the only one left scratching my head. It's a shame, because the times its writer has had the courage to break from convention and do his own thing has resulted in sequences that have made me grin from ear to ear at the humor or cleverness. All too often, though, the comic contents itself to feasting off the scraps thrown off the mainstream comics wagon. For all that is right and wrong with it, Gaming Guardians is just too mundane a target. Maybe if the likes of Dominic Deegan and Zap! hadn't been discovered yet, but at this point in YWiB a review of the comic would just read like a copy/paste of the medley of worse things out there that the Elders of Zion have already trampled over, only loads tamer.
- "Your blog is bad and you should feel bad." OH BURN
- --and we will have to deal with the knowledge that somewhere, somehow, JDR is jerking off Holy Xenu, that statement is the most disturbing imagery I have EVER read. Anyway, I'd almost consider creating a Bingo board (like the comment one)for bad webcomics, considering the same bad tropes continue to repeat themselves over and over: TG, bad art, cliched storyline, one-dimensional characters, welcoming into comic, philosophical garbage... it's like a gigantic whirlpool of failure.
- This is funny. And by funny, I mean terrible. http://img260.imageshack.us/img260/5236/ccyz9.png This is a screen shot from a comic on Drunk Duck's front page, Craving Control, which is basically softcore porn for weeaboo chubby-chasers, about a buxom college freshman who can't control her eating habits and proceeds to get fatter and fatter. And above it is a Disneyland ad.
- The breasts in that last panel are all kinds of absurd. Eugh.
- I HATE UR FAVORITE COMIC GUNNARKRIG COURT JON SOMLON Gunnerkrigg court is super-sucky. First strike against it is the lame ass steampunk-mad-scientist-ooooh, pretty magic setting which also happens to be the overused, yet usually underdeveloped gimmick of a british boarding school. The boring non-sequitur riff gothic lolita main character is niether interesting nor inspiring, makes no indication of human emotion or pathos. This broad is more cynical and lifeless than most bricks, and none of the characters express even the slightest awe over their world or experiences. A world, by the way, so ill-devised that zombie robot pirates fighting ghost vampire plushies would warrant a whole storyarc. Don't even get me started on the artwork, this asshole seems to think that because he can flat in photoshop and draw big eyes that his fictional adventures somehow leap off the page. Not a whit of thought is given to layout, expression (how convenient that none of his characters have anything to express), or even a basic understanding of anatomy or texture. Not to mention that apparently several pages of a kid walking through hallways in a six panel grid constitutes pacing or even--dare I try to percieve actual intention in this pile of dreck--actual character development, as far as this dipshit "artist" is concerned. This is the fetid, unsalvageable vitriol that can only pour from the over heated magical-girl fetish over indulged assholes who only watch the movie versions of half-decent children's books that everyone who even pretends to live in the real world has the sense to actually read, and who's experience with the word "comic" went straight through ctrl-at-dlt and stopped half an internet short of the only debatably better Dresden Codak. This crappy-no-good whack-off filth is not allowed to be called a comic and those who enjoy it need to put down the Legal Drug companion book and try walking into an actual art museum or an actual state park, assuming, of course, that the healthy dose of real beauty, artistic consideration, and emotional resonance doesn't overload and kill them. Not that such a loss would effect the world in any negative way. This comic sucks get over it. I hate you.
- I just started reading Gamer Guardians but it's tough slogging through the boringly bad crap at the beginning to get to the entertainingly bad crap later. It's just a pile of stupid gamer in-jokes that aren't even trying for real humor. And the main characters are an incompetent guy, a competent girl with huge boobs, and a psychotic robot. HOW ORIGINAL. At least the artist gets better after a while, but he seems to have degenerated in more recent strips when he got all animu. To anon above--I give you a B- for trolling. You do a reasonably good job sounding like one of the Elders of Zion if they'd been hit over the head a few times, but they would have known that "This comic sucks get over it" is a run-on sentence. There's no excuse for anyone who graduated high school to write a sentence like that, so I'll hope for your sake you haven't.
- You suck so hard the janitor uses you as a vacuum! ...ok, that's all I got.
- and we will have to deal with the knowledge that somewhere, somehow, JDR is jerking off Aaaaaaaaggghhhh fuck
- I dunno, I'm glad to see this blog back, even though I generally like webcomics. I feel that through vigorous and well-structured fury, the Elders are validating the web medium, in their own way. Taking a look at popular webcomics and explaining which ones have caused the human race to regress and which ones are alright, the Elders imply that the web is worth the effort. What I'm trying to say is that they care, odd as that may sound. So, whenever a new comic tries to kill its large-eyed high-school student protagonist for a few extra clicks of the PayPal button only to revive him next month, I hope John and company will be there to douse the offender with Haterade like they were a winning coach in the Super Bowl of Fail.
- Misogynist Anons 2/24 18:44 and 2/23 23:38 (if you are even separate people): You want misandry? I got yer misandry right here, idiots. You fucks just don't get it, do you; you really think there's nothing at all wrong with some creepy-ass pervert drawing every member of the female gender as a vapid wank-fantasy, who just can't wait to jump on the cock of his self-insert comic character. You truly see nothing wrong with that. Let's see... you call women "feminazis," lesbians, ugly, and losers if they display any damn judgment at all in who they take to bed, rather than considering that you might not be getting any because of your own rotten personalities. You bitch about reviewers who beat the shit out of comics that cater to your pathetic fantasies. You curl up over your Cheeto-encrusted keyboards and whine that "misandrist comics" get a free pass. You know why women want nothing to do with you? It's because you are DOUCHEBAGS. Women are smarter, much smarter, than you want to think we are, and we know a douchebag and want nothing to do with it. Get back to /b/, or whatever rock you crawled out from under, and continue posting your pathetic "TITS OR GTFO" shit to any person who dares to Post While Female. That's how you think, you are utterly incapable of seeing a woman as a human being, so just take your shit out of this blog and go somewhere that welcomes it.
- ^^LOL. Somehow I doubt the boys are lining up at your door, with that attitude. But maybe that's ok, maybe you prefer girls, just make sure you get video of it online. Girly is a misandrist comic, every guy in it is characterized as stupid and inept, while the women can do anything, including be superheroes. It's written by a guy, must be a self-hating one I guess. But of course these SA Forum Goons won't review it, they are in cahoots with Lesnick and would not turn on a fellow moron oops I mean SA Goon.
- I thought the comment thread on this blog would be a really great place to share this: http://www.drunkduck.com/Death_By_Pixel/ Death by Pixel has a character based on the author's real life 13-year-old cousin who had a long running sexual relationship with his self-insert's twenty-something best friend. The relationship, along with a bunch of other sex jokes involving the 13-year-old girl, were a huge source of the comic's "humor" up until recently. Last time I checked, he still doesn't understand why people thought it was creepy. Oh also, vidya comic, big heads, penny-arcade, really terrible humor, blah blah blah. that's the mundane shittiness. The part that's really fascinating is the creepy 13-year-old girl stuff. Sorry if this has been mentioned before, it's just so mind-boggling to me that in an otherwise typical (RE: shitty) gaming comic you've got this huge pedo elephant in the room that no body seems to acknowledge.
- Sorry for the double post. I just remembered the rivalry he imagines between himself and penny arcade, who to my knowledge are completely unaware of him, random storylines that go nowhere and end as abruptly as they start, and finally, the constant 4chon references that make up the majority of his non-kiddy-diddler humor. And as to the pedophile stuff, I think this: http://www.drunkduck.com/Death_By_Pixel/index.php?p=263828 sums it up pretty nicely, although it is certainly not the only, nor even the most egregious example of his profound creepiness. I'm sorry if I'm getting a little too talkative about this shitty comic, but I can't help but be fascinated.
- To be fair, the vast majority of the men in Dominic Deegan are stupid and inept, but that's largely a result of the fact that Mookie only writes what he knows.
- You want a review of a comic by a misandrist woman? I think you need to find one first. I think I've only seen the work of one misandrist comic lady in my life, and it wasn't a webcomic so it doesn't count. Unless you define "misandrist" as anything that doesn't explicitly set out to tickle your neglected weewee and/or stroke your overprivileged ego. Which I suspect is the case.
- Way to prove the points made by the anonymous woman, retard. "Durrr feminazi can't get laid unless she is a lesbian... uhnn me want lesbian videos" wank wank wank. Bonus points for resurrecting the Lesnick conspiracy bullshit and Girly-bashing. Encore!
- "Feminazi" was a term invented by Rush Limbaugh. For those fortunate enough not to be familiar with American white trash talk radio, Rush Limbaugh is a multiple-divorced right-wing slimebag who abuses oxycontin, and who dodged the draft because of a cyst on his asshole. That tells you all you need to know about the idiots who use the word to describe women.
- To whomever posted the link to Death By Pixel, I hope you're happy. I just read the whole thing and anger-bile rose a significant amount. Shameless pedos who can't seem to decide which console's fanboys they are and constant references to other gamer comics, mixed with few updates and numerous, mindless guest strips! WHAT COULD GO WRONG, AMIRITE!?!?!? Seriously, though, I want my hour and a half back.
- I've read dominic deegan.I blame you. How could you expose people to such horrors? I wish i could blame elgoonish shive on you too, but thats my own damn fault. What will i get into because of you next?
- At least he hasn't tried to foist Misfile or SGVY on you yet.
- Hey Solomon, Pastel's finished. You could do a quickie on that. Also, skimming through your archives, I noticed these comics were "on your list": Furry Exodus Real Life Are you going to do something on these? What's coming next?
- Dominic Deegan is like sexual slavery. Everyone needs to know about it, no matter how sick it makes them feel. Knowledge is power. And, like illegal sex and porn trafficking, exposure to Deegan weeds out the good (those who are horrified and vow to do something about it) from the bad (those who jerk off to it and may even look to it for ideas). Yes, I went there. And if anyone disagrees with that comparison, I suggest that they read the blog entries about Deegan and pay extra attention to the comments defending child rape and necrophilia.
- This is one of the worst things I have ever seen (possibly NSFW): http://www.dominic-deegan.com/view.php?date=2008-02-03
- holy crap i just read a blog and someone said that Bob and George had "achieved perfection" someone please ban them from the intern et
- I was SO SURPRISED when it turned out that Dominic Deegan was using an illusion to intimidate people! Mookie's only used that plot twist like half a dozen times!
- it would be cute if you did something special for april fools day - a negative review of a good comic, or a positive review of a bad comic
- Let's hope that you will keep to criticizing webcomics rather than making up lies about the webcomic authors. Remember how you claimed that Ramsoomair threw his badge at someone in childish rage? I can understand why you hate his comic but making up stuff is outrageously low. Unless you have a contact, should it be not yourself to blame, then you should get more honest contacts that aren't likely to lie about stuff to appease your gossip addiction. from : http://forum.vgcats.com/showthread.php?t=20511&page=3&highlight=badge+threw Old news. Someone who has never met me spends more time reviewing me as a person than the comic. I think that's how all reviews must be done from now on. What was I thinking reviewing Transformers on it's merits. I should have made up shit about Micheal Bay's life. I honestly don't give a shit what people say about the comic. This however is attacking me personally. Making shit up as they go along. It comes off more as a troll than an honest review. Also here's the badge I supposedly threw at someone. http://vgcats.com/temp/lolbadge.jpg Why do I still have it? Didn't I throw it in a fit of rage? Don't believe everything written on the internet. * Scoot Ramsoomair will not likely get a deserved apology from you considering your lack of manners.
- Really, Solomon, you're doing these webcomic jerks a favor by couching your valid criticisms in the rhetoric of fury and vitriol. It lets them say "Oh my God he swore and said mean things about me, that means his criticism of my webcomic is invalid!" and so they can go back to their circle of nice. That's not really a favor from the point of view of people who want to improve, but it's a favor from the point of view of the Circle of Nice cunts.
