David Willis has earned my respect. A little, but still.
After finding out about this blog, he decided to reblog into the blogosphere about this blog via blogopolitic blogscapades. What's more, he decided to be pretty cool with some of the stuff he said, rather than taking the "Mookie" option and sobbing uncontrollably while being consoled by dozens of fan blowjobs.
However, he is missing an important point: I do not give a shit if he has people giving constructive criticism on various points, nor that he listens. Because he is still overloading the fucking strip on drama which is degenerating it into a gigantic pile of shit. Admittedly, yes, Willis, you will hear both sides of the coin. You will have people yelling "MORE BATMAN" and people yelling "MORE DRAMA" - how do you choose what to do?
Simple: more Batman. Less drama. Drama is fucking terrible. This is not an opinion, it is solid fact. Your Funky Winterbean parody? I laughed. "Let me cry, Daddy"? I almost threw up so hard I turned inside out.
You are not really so hot at the serious stuff, stick with the Batman jokes, okay? Also, seriously, the least you can fucking do is call me "John Solomon" or "Solomon" or anything but "the guy" because I'm here, using your name, and being fairly nice for someone who's calling your comic a pile of uninteresting crap. Uh. Look on the bright side, I guess, at least you're not orc rapin' it up.
Still, the gag about getting more page views had me crack a smile. Well done, Willis.
After finding out about this blog, he decided to reblog into the blogosphere about this blog via blogopolitic blogscapades. What's more, he decided to be pretty cool with some of the stuff he said, rather than taking the "Mookie" option and sobbing uncontrollably while being consoled by dozens of fan blowjobs.
However, he is missing an important point: I do not give a shit if he has people giving constructive criticism on various points, nor that he listens. Because he is still overloading the fucking strip on drama which is degenerating it into a gigantic pile of shit. Admittedly, yes, Willis, you will hear both sides of the coin. You will have people yelling "MORE BATMAN" and people yelling "MORE DRAMA" - how do you choose what to do?
Simple: more Batman. Less drama. Drama is fucking terrible. This is not an opinion, it is solid fact. Your Funky Winterbean parody? I laughed. "Let me cry, Daddy"? I almost threw up so hard I turned inside out.
You are not really so hot at the serious stuff, stick with the Batman jokes, okay? Also, seriously, the least you can fucking do is call me "John Solomon" or "Solomon" or anything but "the guy" because I'm here, using your name, and being fairly nice for someone who's calling your comic a pile of uninteresting crap. Uh. Look on the bright side, I guess, at least you're not orc rapin' it up.
Still, the gag about getting more page views had me crack a smile. Well done, Willis.
22 comments:
- Anonymous said...
- Wait, how did he get thousands of hits from you? Where are all _your_ readers coming from? This is not sarcasm; I'm honestly curious. Didn't you start just a few days ago?
- John Solomon said...
- It's a joke. When a blog or a website blasts someone's crappy site about transgender furry fanfiction or whatever, they usually make a big statement on their front page saying (at length) how little they care that people dislike their 30,000 word epic about Captain Picard as a busty vixen. In fact, their site is even MORE popular now it's been linked to! So there! Willis is mocking that sentiment by claiming that my tiny, inconsequential blog of hate has made his already popular webcomic popular. I assume so, anyway. There's no fucking way even a hundred people read this.
- Jcohn said...
- While I took the whole linking thing seriously in a previous post, and yeah, over all I still agree no publicity is bad publicity, an interesting irony is that his linking to you probably increased your readership. Hell, thats how I found you.
- John Seavey said...
- Um, nothing personal, Mr. Solomon, but, um...you terrify me. (And I think you terrify a lot of people, hence the high percentage of anonymous comments on your site. Call it a hunch.) Seriously, I cannot imagine a world where 'Shortpacked' inspires in me anything like the degree of emotion it does in you, positive or negative. I read the strip, it's good for a chuckle, or not depending on the day, but either way, it takes no more than five seconds to read. Whether good or bad, I seriously cannot imagine it inspiring the kind of white-hot, incandescent hatred that it seems to inspire in you. I mean, a blog that reviews webcomics is a good idea. Giving webcomics you don't like negative reviews, with honest opinions, also a good idea. But dial it back to "sane", because you honestly sound like a bizarre internet hoax more than a serious attempt to critique these comics. And don't hunt me down and kill me just because I used my name for these instead of posting anonymously. Please.
- Dirk McDirkenson said...
- If you're scared of how people will react to your posts Mr. Seavey, post under a psuedonym. Dirk McDirkenson is not my real name, but it sounds pretty cool, right?
- John Solomon said...
- People always assume I'm being emotional because I swear. I'm actually calm, if not wholly languid, when I make a post. I mean, I can say that this is a motherfucking Goddamn shitsucking cock of a bitch whore comment, fuck! You think that's emotion? It's not, it's just words. You're assuming that I'm hyperventilating and frothing at the mouth because I'm cussin', but bluntly you can't tell how the fuck I'm feeling just by the way I write. Webcomics only get me mad when they do something like, say, Deegan's orc rape thing. Kludging together some weak-ass storyline about the rape of a young girl just so people will think you're a rad writer who isn't afraid to tackle ISSUES (that you know nothing about) is fuckin' disgusting. It's an abject failure of humanity. So, in summary: just because I am swearing does not mean I am raging and howling and gnashing my teeth.
- Dirk McDirkenson said...
- I guess you fail to accurately portray your actual emotion through your writing.
- John Solomon said...
- Yeah, but swearing all the time is hilarious. People wouldn't be calling me a massive pedantic troll who's jealous of people who create these wonderful webcomics if I was being tepid. Plus, that's one step closer to being a cocksucking attention whore like that guy from Tangents.
- Dirk McDirkenson said...
- I think you need some sort of major surgery to become as bad as him.
- John Solomon said...
- What, like the ability to unhinge my jaw like a snake in order to fit more dick inside?
- John Seavey said...
- But the question is, do you want people to think of you as a pedantic troll, or do you want people to listen to what you're actually saying? Because again, right now I either think you're an Internet hoax or some sort of bizarre performance art. The thought that these are your sincere opinions, and that they represent some sort of valid critique of the webcomics you're reviewing, isn't even a distant third. If you're actually trying to be a webcomic reviewer, that's probably not a good sign. If you're not, well...good job, but you'll probably lose traffic pretty quick after the novelty wears off. :) And to "Dirk", I don't use pseudonyms. I believe you wouldn't read half the things you read on the Internet if everyone had to admit they said it. :)
- Malky said...
- "But the question is, do you want people to think of you as a pedantic troll, or do you want people to listen to what you're actually saying?" Better question: Who cares?
- Anonymous said...
- May I humbly suggest Marry Me? http://www.marrymemovie.com I found it through an ad on a far better webcomic. Not only does the writer get his panties in a twist whenever someone calls his work a "webcomic", but he's also determined to shop out his unimaginative and shallow script to a movie studio sometime soon. Delusional much?
- Caiwyn said...
- Solomon, I followed the link from Shortpacked! here, and I am a fan of the strip, but my response to your criticism is "hell yeah." Consider yourself bookmarked. I can't *WAIT* to see you take on heavyweights like PVP or Megatokyo. Maybe you could go after Websnark, too.
- Remus Shepherd said...
- Mr. Solomon, you have been linked by Metafilter, so I suspect you have a lot more than a hundred people reading this blog now. Admit it, you're a rising star. Don't let that change you, though. The webcomic world needs someone to skewer all of its delusional and pampered prima donnas. Your reviews so far have been scathing, hillarious...and insightful. And those are qualities that make a great review, from the readers' perspectives. Keep at it, man. ...just stay the hell away from my webcomic. ;)
- John Solomon said...
- It's cool, if I go after your webcomic I won't mind if you call me an ignorant child and threaten to have me murdered like everyone else so far. I'm popular!
- Anonymous said...
- Honestly, who cares what this guy says. It's not like this drip in the bucket has any real influence on the interwebs. He should feel lucky Willis replied to his comments at all, seeing as his readers are pumping up the stats to this sorry pouch of bird droppings he calls a blog. Only two ways to become known on the internet, earn fame through quality and good timing or earn infamy by being a butthole to everyone just to get their negative reactions. Not like it matters, unless someone else he criticizes reacts to him, he'll be forgotten in a month or two. Go do something constructive, there's enough unfunny cockbite trolls like you on the internet.
- ted said...
- hehe you're a pretty funny guy you do a great impression of a fucking moron who thinks he knows about the internet
- Detective Fork said...
- I dig that John Solomon takes digs at himself and his site, too. I respect when someone casting negative opinions about something isn't holding themselves up as the gold standard. And I don't think he was acting insane at all. He didn't threaten to Kill Willis (heh, good movie title), he's just speaking his mind on "Shortpacked."
- Brian said...
- I'm really glad Willis linked this page. I don't agree that his serious stuff sucks, but I have become a fan of your blog. Keep writing!
- Dirk McDirkenson said...
- Hey guys, I'm sorry I was such an assdouche. I just wanted to say that I'm an enormous faggot, and I would like you to rape my face. Bye!
