David Willis has earned my respect. A little, but still.
After finding out about this blog, he decided to reblog into the blogosphere about this blog via blogopolitic blogscapades. What's more, he decided to be pretty cool with some of the stuff he said, rather than taking the "Mookie" option and sobbing uncontrollably while being consoled by dozens of fan blowjobs.
However, he is missing an important point: I do not give a shit if he has people giving constructive criticism on various points, nor that he listens. Because he is still overloading the fucking strip on drama which is degenerating it into a gigantic pile of shit. Admittedly, yes, Willis, you will hear both sides of the coin. You will have people yelling "MORE BATMAN" and people yelling "MORE DRAMA" - how do you choose what to do?
Simple: more Batman. Less drama. Drama is fucking terrible. This is not an opinion, it is solid fact. Your Funky Winterbean parody? I laughed. "Let me cry, Daddy"? I almost threw up so hard I turned inside out.
You are not really so hot at the serious stuff, stick with the Batman jokes, okay? Also, seriously, the least you can fucking do is call me "John Solomon" or "Solomon" or anything but "the guy" because I'm here, using your name, and being fairly nice for someone who's calling your comic a pile of uninteresting crap. Uh. Look on the bright side, I guess, at least you're not orc rapin' it up.
Still, the gag about getting more page views had me crack a smile. Well done, Willis.
After finding out about this blog, he decided to reblog into the blogosphere about this blog via blogopolitic blogscapades. What's more, he decided to be pretty cool with some of the stuff he said, rather than taking the "Mookie" option and sobbing uncontrollably while being consoled by dozens of fan blowjobs.
However, he is missing an important point: I do not give a shit if he has people giving constructive criticism on various points, nor that he listens. Because he is still overloading the fucking strip on drama which is degenerating it into a gigantic pile of shit. Admittedly, yes, Willis, you will hear both sides of the coin. You will have people yelling "MORE BATMAN" and people yelling "MORE DRAMA" - how do you choose what to do?
Simple: more Batman. Less drama. Drama is fucking terrible. This is not an opinion, it is solid fact. Your Funky Winterbean parody? I laughed. "Let me cry, Daddy"? I almost threw up so hard I turned inside out.
You are not really so hot at the serious stuff, stick with the Batman jokes, okay? Also, seriously, the least you can fucking do is call me "John Solomon" or "Solomon" or anything but "the guy" because I'm here, using your name, and being fairly nice for someone who's calling your comic a pile of uninteresting crap. Uh. Look on the bright side, I guess, at least you're not orc rapin' it up.
Still, the gag about getting more page views had me crack a smile. Well done, Willis.
22 comments:
- Anonymous said...
- Wait, how did he get thousands of hits from you? Where are all _your_ readers coming from? This is not sarcasm; I'm honestly curious. Didn't you start just a few days ago?
- John Solomon said...
- It's a joke. When a blog or a website blasts someone's crappy site about transgender furry fanfiction or whatever, they usually make a big statement on their front page saying (at length) how little they care that people dislike their 30,000 word epic about Captain Picard as a busty vixen. In fact, their site is even MORE popular now it's been linked to! So there! Willis is mocking that sentiment by claiming that my tiny, inconsequential blog of hate has made his already popular webcomic popular. I assume so, anyway. There's no fucking way even a hundred people read this.
- Jcohn said...
- While I took the whole linking thing seriously in a previous post, and yeah, over all I still agree no publicity is bad publicity, an interesting irony is that his linking to you probably increased your readership. Hell, thats how I found you.
- John Seavey said...
- Um, nothing personal, Mr. Solomon, but, um...you terrify me. (And I think you terrify a lot of people, hence the high percentage of anonymous comments on your site. Call it a hunch.) Seriously, I cannot imagine a world where 'Shortpacked' inspires in me anything like the degree of emotion it does in you, positive or negative. I read the strip, it's good for a chuckle, or not depending on the day, but either way, it takes no more than five seconds to read. Whether good or bad, I seriously cannot imagine it inspiring the kind of white-hot, incandescent hatred that it seems to inspire in you. I mean, a blog that reviews webcomics is a good idea. Giving webcomics you don't like negative reviews, with honest opinions, also a good idea. But dial it back to "sane", because you honestly sound like a bizarre internet hoax more than a serious attempt to critique these comics. And don't hunt me down and kill me just because I used my name for these instead of posting anonymously. Please.
- Dirk McDirkenson said...
- If you're scared of how people will react to your posts Mr. Seavey, post under a psuedonym. Dirk McDirkenson is not my real name, but it sounds pretty cool, right?
- John Solomon said...
- People always assume I'm being emotional because I swear. I'm actually calm, if not wholly languid, when I make a post. I mean, I can say that this is a motherfucking Goddamn shitsucking cock of a bitch whore comment, fuck! You think that's emotion? It's not, it's just words. You're assuming that I'm hyperventilating and frothing at the mouth because I'm cussin', but bluntly you can't tell how the fuck I'm feeling just by the way I write. Webcomics only get me mad when they do something like, say, Deegan's orc rape thing. Kludging together some weak-ass storyline about the rape of a young girl just so people will think you're a rad writer who isn't afraid to tackle ISSUES (that you know nothing about) is fuckin' disgusting. It's an abject failure of humanity. So, in summary: just because I am swearing does not mean I am raging and howling and gnashing my teeth.
- Dirk McDirkenson said...
- I guess you fail to accurately portray your actual emotion through your writing.
- John Solomon said...
- Yeah, but swearing all the time is hilarious. People wouldn't be calling me a massive pedantic troll who's jealous of people who create these wonderful webcomics if I was being tepid. Plus, that's one step closer to being a cocksucking attention whore like that guy from Tangents.
- Dirk McDirkenson said...
- I think you need some sort of major surgery to become as bad as him.
- John Solomon said...
- What, like the ability to unhinge my jaw like a snake in order to fit more dick inside?
- John Seavey said...
- But the question is, do you want people to think of you as a pedantic troll, or do you want people to listen to what you're actually saying? Because again, right now I either think you're an Internet hoax or some sort of bizarre performance art. The thought that these are your sincere opinions, and that they represent some sort of valid critique of the webcomics you're reviewing, isn't even a distant third. If you're actually trying to be a webcomic reviewer, that's probably not a good sign. If you're not, well...good job, but you'll probably lose traffic pretty quick after the novelty wears off. :) And to "Dirk", I don't use pseudonyms. I believe you wouldn't read half the things you read on the Internet if everyone had to admit they said it. :)
- Malky said...
- "But the question is, do you want people to think of you as a pedantic troll, or do you want people to listen to what you're actually saying?" Better question: Who cares?
- Anonymous said...
- May I humbly suggest Marry Me? http://www.marrymemovie.com I found it through an ad on a far better webcomic. Not only does the writer get his panties in a twist whenever someone calls his work a "webcomic", but he's also determined to shop out his unimaginative and shallow script to a movie studio sometime soon. Delusional much?
- Caiwyn said...
- Solomon, I followed the link from Shortpacked! here, and I am a fan of the strip, but my response to your criticism is "hell yeah." Consider yourself bookmarked. I can't *WAIT* to see you take on heavyweights like PVP or Megatokyo. Maybe you could go after Websnark, too.
- Remus Shepherd said...
- Mr. Solomon, you have been linked by Metafilter, so I suspect you have a lot more than a hundred people reading this blog now. Admit it, you're a rising star. Don't let that change you, though. The webcomic world needs someone to skewer all of its delusional and pampered prima donnas. Your reviews so far have been scathing, hillarious...and insightful. And those are qualities that make a great review, from the readers' perspectives. Keep at it, man. ...just stay the hell away from my webcomic. ;)
- John Solomon said...
- It's cool, if I go after your webcomic I won't mind if you call me an ignorant child and threaten to have me murdered like everyone else so far. I'm popular!
- Anonymous said...
- Honestly, who cares what this guy says. It's not like this drip in the bucket has any real influence on the interwebs. He should feel lucky Willis replied to his comments at all, seeing as his readers are pumping up the stats to this sorry pouch of bird droppings he calls a blog. Only two ways to become known on the internet, earn fame through quality and good timing or earn infamy by being a butthole to everyone just to get their negative reactions. Not like it matters, unless someone else he criticizes reacts to him, he'll be forgotten in a month or two. Go do something constructive, there's enough unfunny cockbite trolls like you on the internet.
- ted said...
- hehe you're a pretty funny guy you do a great impression of a fucking moron who thinks he knows about the internet
- Detective Fork said...
- I dig that John Solomon takes digs at himself and his site, too. I respect when someone casting negative opinions about something isn't holding themselves up as the gold standard. And I don't think he was acting insane at all. He didn't threaten to Kill Willis (heh, good movie title), he's just speaking his mind on "Shortpacked."
- Brian said...
- I'm really glad Willis linked this page. I don't agree that his serious stuff sucks, but I have become a fan of your blog. Keep writing!
- Dirk McDirkenson said...
- Hey guys, I'm sorry I was such an assdouche. I just wanted to say that I'm an enormous faggot, and I would like you to rape my face. Bye!
Didn't you become what you hate in that last paragraph? The whole, bitching to the creator about how he should be ignoring people who bitch to him about his comic?
-Yeah, I know this is anonymous, but only because I'd rather not start up Internet Drama, and I have no idea if you're the type or not.
- Gav.
I'm not just some fan going "MORE DRAMA PLZ", I'm a distinguished fellow making keen observations. Plus I'm not even a fan anymore. So I shouldn't be ignored.
Really.
His next strip, It's Walky!, a story about a secret government agency, Martians, aliens, and an all-powerful robot cheese monster, turned the Earth into a giant ball of angst.
Shortpacked is set in the same universe as the other two comics, and includes Mike and Robin from It's Walky. And it's probably his most self-aware comic. He makes fun of his stupid conclusion to Roomies and the excessive complexity of It's Walky. Robin even tries to fight back the drama. He just can't help himself.
I am going to do the same thing here. You offer some interesting commentary, but does it really help your point to resort to obscenities?
You begin by a superficial discussion of genres, then offer a somewhat insightful critique of Willis' admixture of genres (which is nowhere near as drastic as the range of irreverancy to complex melodrama in _Funky Winkerbean_ and _Doonesbury_). But then, lacking any further to go with your discussion, you resort to using foul language.
Major turn-off.
I don't mean to start any "drama" myself, only to respectfully refute you. Or at least attempt. The wonderful nature of opinions is you can have all my version of the facts and still disagree with me.
Put it this way. I outgrew Batman at about 5. I'm a huge girly girl who never really caught on to Transformers and so on and so on. Basically, most of the Shortpacked! jokes so dear to you....are completely lost on me because I'm not in that niche.
However!!!!!!! And this is a big however. However, I check Shortpacked every day, even the days when I'm 99% sure there will be no strip, just in case...Why? Because I consider David Willis an absolute genius. His strips are intelligent, thought-provoking, and, yes, dramatic. Just enough to keep you on edge and interested. It challenges me, making me think...but still allowing me to let my brain in a less serious way than my daily reality does.
There are tons of strips out there which never touch anything related to drama. And if that's your cup of tea, then so be it. Enjoy!
But just be aware that not everyone agrees with you.
That's all.
Have a good day.
=)
Grow Up!
This is one man's opinion. It's not an attack of any kind. There are people who won't like Shortpacked! Statistically speaking, IT'S INEVITABLE.
Even if you believe his assumptions to be flawed, I highly doubt you're going to chance his mind. His expectations for the comic are different from yours, or even Willis's. That's the end of the story.
(I do like Shortpacked, btw.)
(although it _could_ use more Batman. But then what couldn't?)
You are absolutely wrong in pegging this on David Willis.
DW did not suddenly take a cast of one dimensional characters and decide to inject drama into them after his strip had begun its run and change its style completely. No, he designed them that way. If you had been paying attention to the earlier strips, it's clear that these characters were more than just gag delivery. So they pull double-duty, being funny as well as occasionally being dramatic. So what? We were introdued to the characters, and came to care about them, through the early humor. He's also never broken his style to do this.
Shortpacked is one of the rare strips that has gotten this combination right. If your preferences don't include stories that include both humor and drama, that's fine... but don't blame the author for your personal preferences.
"Let me cry, Daddy."
Fucking please. We're supposed to feel emotional sympathy for this character? She's not an even vaguely likable personality, and the line is so utterly over-the-top maudlin that the immediate reaction is a belly-laugh instead of sympathy.
As a writer of drama, Willis fails on all counts, and that is the real problem. As an writer of comedy he's got some talent but as soon as he gives in to his obvious need for "depth", it all turns into a massive pile of shit.
Way to miss the point!
Especially when they have no idea of the context behind what they talk about.... genius!
I don't know which would be more pathetic, Willis being so bad at writing drama that it comes across as unintentially funny due to his incompetence, or that he's deliberately playing up child abuse for laughs. Given the axiom "never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity", I'm going to assume that Willis is just really crap at writing dramatic scenes, and wasn't actually trying to make us laugh at somebody's emotional damage due to childhood abuse.
It's half-cocked assumption city around here.
Again, I'm going to give Willis the benefit of the doubt here, because regardless of how bad I think his storytelling skills are, I don't think he's that big of a jerk. Even Willis knows that's not something you try to wrap a joke around.
We get it: you are one of the millions who don't like [Deegan/Shortpacked/etcetc]. You don't need to waste your life to point it out. You're obviously no better than Mookie when you do that. You aren't providing a service, you are just venting.
I sincerely hope that one day you will realise that this is what the Internet is all about: commercialism and shallow bullshit. If it wasn't, Microsoft would actually give a shit about their browser, spammers wouldn't make any money, and asshats would make crappy webcomics wouldn't have fans. But please. They say "don't feed the trolls" for good reason; so unless you are just a particularly eloquent troll, don't feed the fires of your hatred. It only inspires them.
I dunno, every time I try and unlock the mystery of your words there's this wave of "I am VERY IMPORTANT ON THE INTERNET" that hits me and I find I don't care anymore.
Willis' story on the other hand, points all these things out while being clever and entertaining. Your blog points them out while... what? Show everyone how good you are?
It's ok for writers to be over the top so long as we all know it's a joke. The strip would not have you laughing at the abused girl, but instead the idea that someone would write about an abused girl. Does that make any sense?
The argument here, then, is that Willis is just pretending is be really shitty at writing drama, for comedic effect?
You know, that sounds an awful lot like somebody pretending to be an idiot on a forum in order to get people upset, which is called "trolling". You might very well have heard of this!
The functional difference between a genuine idiot and somebody pretending to be an idiot is basically nil, and the two can be treated identically; the difference between a Shortpacked written by a deliberately-bad Willis and a Shortpacked written by a genuinely-bad Willis is basically nil as well, and I see no reason to read either.
Is Willis great at writing deep, thought-provoking drama? No.
Is Willis great at writing hilarious sendups of webcomic drama? No.
Is Willis great at writing jokes about comic books and toys? Yes, and he should probably stick to them.
Now if Willis never intended any of these drama strips to be 'serious', then I can at least respect that. Looking at it in that way they are funny sometimes, but they're never as funny or as consistently funny as his standalones. But it seems that at least some of his fans, judging from the comments here and elsewhere, take a lot of the drama at face value. And at face value none of it is 'thought-provoking' or 'insightful'. It's a comic about a toy store for chrissakes!
Actually, the word you're looking for here is "parody".
But Willis isn't writing a parody. He's just writing drama very badly. If he was writing a parody, he'd be writing well, in a way which makes fun of the genre conventions.
See, I know that Willis can do parody, because he does it really well with his deliberate humor strips. The fact that he's not using these same techniques with the "drama" stuff is a pretty big hint that he's trying to play them straight.
-Detective Fork
http://www.detectivefork.com
There usually aren't.
Aside from the really iffy drama, his self-insertion scenes thoroughly disturbed me and also caused a part of my brain to permanently die.
I mean, honestly.
I don't know about you, but eyeballs are eyeballs. There's an all-encompassing, career damaging "Wrong Crowd" out there?
Is this "Wrong Crowd" Transformers fans? 80s pop culture fanatics? People who like any action figures whatsoever? Anyone that's worked in retail? People who like fan service, what?
I think that it's because of Willis' ability to appeal to more than just one "Wrong Crowd" that's got your panties all up in a twist.
Page views are page views, and love it or hate it only the worthy get 'em.
Willis does. You only will when Willis links back at you.
Geez, don't you people know anything?
You start character development from day one or you don't start it at all. I really wish Shortpacked! was all nerd jokes, because there are very few comics out there that do decent, non-pandering nerd jokes.
In any case, if I want drama, I'll watch a soap opera.
It is quite dead on.
Willis is the type to show up at a mall with a table and a stack of his printed material to sign autographs even though he was never invited and no one would show up to meet him, that's how sorry he is. He treats people like dirt constantly, always finding a way to talk down to someone whos opinion doesn't mesh with his, and parades his fat pig girlfriend like a trophy- that relationship will end in spouse abuse for sure down the road(his "inability" to get angry will no doubt well up in 5-10 years). He also constantly brags about having sex with her, as if ANYONE CARED! Willis is an uppity little man with a large ego who doesn't matter in the big picture because no one knows- or even cares- who he is.
As for his "I'm Batman" running gag, I'm certain Tim Burton and Michael Keaton came up with that, though he probably believes he invented it. He runs Blank Label comics becuase your mind would have to be totally blank to enjoy his tripe.
Why should his comic be a success? Leave the limelight to PBF and C&H, they deserve it more.
-DS Legion
You should read his blog! It's a blast:
http://deadside-legion.livejournal.com/
You kids should get a kick out of it. It's way funnier than my strip.