Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Shredded Moose

I think Dueling Analogs, in all its misogynist glory, is still fresh in your minds. Well, I wish to present to you something that manages to outshine it in that regard.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Shredded Moose.

To say that Shredded Moose is a bad webcomic would be to gloss over the sheer vileness of it. This shit is worse than everything else on this blog taken together. Dave Sim would weep in horror at this display of unabashed chauvinist chest-beating and Kyle Mistry would cringe at the violence showcased.

What I'm trying to say is, this comic is so fucking bad it makes Mookie look like Roger Zelazny.

Shredded Moose is a gaming comic and is somewhat obviously a Penny Arcade rip-off. Like most of those, it is made by a team of two. From the forums I've gathered that Brew, the red-headed frat boy is a self-insert for the writer, which makes Trip (who looks like his balls haven't dropped yet, judging by the way he portrays himself) the alter ego of the artist.

As you read the following paragraphs, keep in mind that at least two people find this comic to be the pinnacle of humour.

The first strip sets the tone for the rest of the comic: our heroes are watching a game of American Football and celebrating a touchdown for their team. Then, shock! Horror! Female hygiene products and Celine Dion! Our heroes proceed to pull faces and declare it gross.

Considering the 99.9% chance that both Carrot-Flavoured Fratboy and Pre-teen Sidekick were pushed head-first through a vagina, it's vaguely amusing, but not in the way its creators intended it to be. The intended joke seems to be "Women are stupid and gross and should stay away from sports because they'll just give our precious stadiums stupid names and listen to Celine Dion."

Next up is a gag about punching a nerdy kid in the face to get at the latest WoW expansion. Oh, Brew, you rascal! Then it's an obscure gaming joke with a twist. The first two panels are taken up by jiggling, unnatural boobs. The sort of boobs a 14-year-old boy with a severe case of acne would draw, because he can't get past Net Nanny and get some decent porn. Nipples are not neon pink, people, and nor are breasts roughly the same size as a human head.

Shredded Moose seems to thrive on mediocre gaming jokes, complimented by a healthy dose of the most disgusting misogyny I have ever seen.

I hope that little parade of mind-scarring bigotry speaks for itself, but in case anyone missed the point: the women are always depicted as little more than sex dolls or Orcs, also known in Brew's world as feminists. They're either props for his puerile jokes or raging strawmen, to be "zinged" and "burned" by Brew's sharp wit.

Summary of Brew's attitude to women. This is probably the first time I saw a strawman argument that made more sense than the rebuttal. In case you missed it, the rebuttal is Brew humping a sex-doll that resembles the woman in the foreground.

This one deserves special mention, because it seems Brew is convinced every and any girl will fall head over heels in lust with him and if she doesn't ... why, then she's a lesbian! And lesbians are hot and prime wanking material for guys! There's no way they might have desires and interests outside of providing free porn for Brew.

This comic makes me want to spit.

Occasionally, I start thinking that Brew is actually a parody of sexist, hateful pricks, but the constant barrage of misogyny convinces me otherwise. Brew's rampage of sexual harassment is supposed to be nothing more than a healthy expression of the male libido.

Incidentally, rampage is a perfect word for his attitude towards sex and women. Here, our hero is seen pretending to be a T. Rex while fucking his nubile, big-titted fuckbuddy (I don't think Brew could keep a girlfriend for more than three weeks, considering his attitude to menstruation). He views himself as the predator and the woman he is fucking as nothing more than prey, to be metaphorically eaten and shat out, never to return to again. He also encourages date rape. Getting a woman drunk until she's passed out on the floor is exactly the same as spending half an hour exploring her erogenous zones, guys! Totally!

This is truly disturbing.

While mountains of violence and misogyny are the main focus of this comic, Brew and Trip try to break up the monotony a little with abortion jokes. Oh and some nerd-culture references thrown in, apparently as fanservice. This being a frat boy comic, there is the obligatory strip relating to Brew's love of beer. That same strip is also a ninja joke, by the by.

Oddly enough for a gaming comic (and Shredded Moose is indeed a gaming comic, at least in theory) there are only two OS jokes: a Windows joke and a Mac joke, leading me to conclude that Brew uses Linux. However, that would require intelligence, something our plucky frat boy evidently lacks. It seems that he's simply pandering to both fanbases, in an attempt to win approving chuckles and maybe a couple more hits for his strip.

Shredded Moose also ridicules Penny Arcade, which gives us a rare moment of unintended hilarity. Seventh-rate rip-offs who feel the need to criticise the original are a special brand of insecure jackasses.

Sometimes, Brew and Trip feel the need to remind us that being smart is bad, especially if you want to get laid. I guess I shouldn't be surprised by a frat boy who holds such an opinion.

Brew also rages against religion and the religious. And makes gay jokes about piracy protection. Combine the strip about the burly dominator with this and this and it becomes rather clear that Brew is either Republican, libertarian or both. This is not surprising: the right wing harbour most of the world's misogynists. Libertarians are an entirely different kettle of sandfish, but I won't go into that.

When he's not making a point, objectifying one half of the world, corrupting little kids (or killing them), Brew makes jokes that simply make no sense. Where is the punchline in the last one? Brew is incapable of making a joke that doesn't centre around punching someone in the gut, being a chauvinistic pig or being "edgy". This newspost also contains clues to Brew's age: he worked in the IT industry, which means he's long since out of college. Dear oh dear.

Oh, did I mention that his forum has an "educational" thread simply for posting porn? Or that he seems to think intercourse with a vacuum cleaner is anything other than pathetic and downright stupid?

On a slightly happier note, there was one strip that did not crush all my hope in humanity. That one was amusing, but nowhere near so much as to actually redeem the rest of it.

You will notice that until now, I've only been talking about the writing and not the art. I am going to remedy that by saying that the art is actually fairly all right. Sure, it's not strikingly original and derivative of Penny Arcade, but there is no evidence of copy+pasting, the shading and highlights are consistent with the light source and despite the SUPER SHINY OH MY GOD surfaces, it'd be pleasant to look at if not for the subject matter. If you clicked on the links, you'd know how badly the dude draws boobs. They're almost always oversized, vaguely banana-shaped or have nipples like hubcaps. Yeesh. Even the Orc Feminist has erect nipples and her ample cleavage on show.

Trip also likes to draw cameltoes, lending weight to the idea that he's no older than 14.

All right, fuck this piece of shit sideways with a rusty morningstar. I do not have the strength to go on reviewing this vile, rancid pile of troll vomit. Brew and Trip should have their hands cut off, their tongues torn out, their eyes pecked out by a raven and thrown to the lions. Then someone should burn their corpses and jump up and down on the ashes for a bit, just to make sure.

Brew and Trip, your webcomic is not bad. Oh no. It transcends bad and easily passes awful. It is the single most convincing piece of evidence against the existence of god and for the existence of evil. It is the embodiment of the stupid, knuckle-dragging, caveman attitude that should be vigorously stamped out if humanity is to progress in any way. Your comic, good sirs, has no redeeming features whatsoever. You shouldn't be ashamed - what you should feel is deep, burning remorse, to echo the charring, soul-destroying agony that one feels upon looking at the pile of trash you dare call a comic.

Kindly get prostate cancer and die horribly.

Or, you know, just stop making comics, you sex-starved shits.

315 comments:

    1 – 200 of 315   Newer›   Newest»
Anonymous said...
Don't like Shredded Moose? What's the matter? Too DEEP for you?
colin said...
holy fucking shit, that is the worst comic i've seen yet here. there is no way that this guy hates women because they don't sleep with him. that beach comic where he kills the guy with the muscles seals the diagnosis. i'd throw a link to it up here, but i can't even begin to deal with the agony of sifting through the archives to find it.
Anonymous said...
Solomon,yo make something that makes me want to pierce my eyes funny.
Anonymous said...
Can someone explain the PA parody strip to me?

They put on the same shirts, then... then what?
Anonymous said...
This comic makes me so angry that I may burst into flames at any moment.
Ian said...
Hey, skewering of a really terrible webcomic /and/ a shout-out to Roger Zelazny. Bonus!
John Solomon said...
Solomon,yo make something that makes me want to pierce my eyes funny.

Do you people even look at the tagline for who wrote this shit or am I going to have to start getting these people to state it at the top of every post they make in a giant animated gif that causes seizures.
glyph said...
This piece of utter abomination makes a fine argument for requiring all webcartoonists to be psychologically examined, trained in art and writing, and licensed before they unleash their work on the Internet.

Shredded Moose is truly the worst webcomic I've ever seen, or am ever likely to see. It makes the thousands of poorly-drawn and lamely-written comics on Comic Genesis, Drunk Duck and such, look as if Jack Kirby had drawn them and Alan Moore written them.

I think the only way one could possibly do an uglier, more offensive comic would be if it were devoted to making fun of Nazi genocide victims.
Anonymous said...
without even having to read the rest of your review, I can tell this guy is an arrogant indifferent asshole given the news post on the link currently. "Well whats the big deal with Micheal Vick setting up dogfights?" the whole arrogance and assinine superiority of that post makes me sick.
Anonymous said...
How dare you use Dave Sims name in vain. He is GOD sir, you ... are a turd...
Lilith Ester said...
without even having to read the rest of your review, I can tell this guy is an arrogant indifferent asshole given the news post on the link currently. "Well whats the big deal with Micheal Vick setting up dogfights?" the whole arrogance and assinine superiority of that post makes me sick.

Yeah, I could've pretty much linked to the main site and said, "These guys are fucking arseholes" and saved myself the time it took me to read through the archives, put a name to my rage and then write the review.

But hey, I thought this festering chancre of a comic deserved a proper review.
John Solomon said...
How dare you use Dave Sims name in vain. He is GOD sir, you ... are a turd...

and it's a fuckin woman postin the review sucking out all our male light and causing death and despair, chaos, famine, pestilence, flood, the end times and the destruction of man's world

woe be unto the serpent gender for the consumation of our male lighttttttttt
glyph said...
John, you forgot to mention the "feminist-homosexualist axis."
Anonymous said...
Wow, that was surprisingly vile. I'm used to signs of mild social retardation in the comics you profile, but these guys are on an entirely different level.
John Solomon said...
THEY'RE ALL VOIDS STEALING OUR MALE LIGHTTTTT
Anonymous said...
See? Too easy.
Jackson said...
All I can say is, what a waste of good art. A terrible terrible waste of good art.
Anonymous said...
What you talking about Shredded Mouse is a good, solid webcomic. This is a poor choice on your part.
docfrance said...
Would the bingo card need to be altered for this comic? I can just imagine the kind of "witty retorts" that Shredded Moose fans would come up with in response to Lilith's review.

--She's an ugly orc feminist
--She's a lesbian
--She's on her period
--She hasn't gotten laid in years
--She has sand in her vagina
--She's hot for Brew
--Et cetera

Great review, Lilith.
Anonymous said...
If Shredded Moose were a print comic (unlikely, as even most vanity presses would reject it), I wouldn't even use it as toilet paper. Its sheer vileness might cause anal cancer.
colin said...
What you talking about Shredded Mouse is a good, solid webcomic. This is a poor choice on your part.

weakest troll ever
John Solomon said...
What you talking about Shredded Mouse is a good, solid webcomic. This is a poor choice on your part.

Ahahahahaha

ahahaha


ahahha





MALE LIGGHTTTTTTTTTTTT
Anonymous said...
http://www.shreddedmoose.com/comic/comic_arc.php?comicID=86

actually this one makes perfect sense if you know all the backstory. He stole it from Gary Larson

Finally, a comic nobody's going to defend. The only rebutal you're likely to get is this wankstain doing a comic showing you getting reamed repeatedly by Orc feminists with strap-on dongs. Maybe he'll be creative and draw himself moneyshooting your face in the final panel, crying out a timeless witicism. Maybe 'Yes! Fan service, bitches!" He's that kind of genius, creativity blooming, plugged into the essence of our times.

Anyone whose self-insert wears a backwards baseball cap is automatically an olympic class knobhead.

Stay hard, Solomon
Anonymous said...
It's bad, but I think that VG Cats still has a special place for "worst" in my heart.
Anonymous said...
stay hard Solomon

and lilith who wrote this one obviously. my bad.
a25 said...
You know, when people were dropping links to comics they thought were bad in the comments, this came up a lot, and I didn't check out how bad it was.

That changed today, and it really shouldn't have.

Also, outspoken Republicans are often religious (especially with the increasing polarity between the two major parties), so I think a safer bet is that he's just really messed up. I don't really care to analyze beyond that.
John Solomon said...
Brew's definitely a libertarian.

I think I'll review this one as well. Two-for-one on reviews of atrocious webcomics, in honour of the occasion!
Mike Saul said...
I like when men let the crazy men-hating people who misrepresent feminists shape their opinion of all feminism. It really speaks to how open-minded they were towards the idea to begin with.
Mike Saul said...
Though maybe calling brew a man is a stretch.
Anonymous said...
<3 you guys.
Christopher said...
Okay, the whole "Feminists are ugly and can't get any ha ha!" thing offends me on the usual level (eg it's stupid and misogynist), but it also bothers me because it's so damn stale.

That "joke" is older then I am and it's been used by pretty much every single anti-feminist dope who ever thought he had a sense of humor.

Look, Mallard fucking Fillmore did a "feminists are ugly" joke.

If newspapermen are willing to put your joke next to Family Circus then it's not shock humor, and statistically speaking, it's probably not any kind of humor.

Can't we just put this one to bed already?

Speaking of newspapers, did that one with the mailman strike anybody else as being really newspapery?

It wouldn't seem out of place in, say, Mother Goose and Grimm.

Which is weird, not only because it's out of character with this particular strip's moronic shock humor, it's out of character from nearly every webcomic ever.

Even the pretty good nerd comics like... give me a minute... Shortpacked, usually have really niche humor about Transformers or new video games or something that wouldn't make sense to your average Mary Worth reading grandma.

Hell, I have no idea what the last four Penny Arcade strips have been about.

And yet somehow in Shredded Moose there's a relatively funny strip that's accessible and appropriate for anybody.

Astonishing.
Brandon said...
Wow, I think that is the closest I've ever come to webcomic-induced vomiting.
tehkou said...
I think I'll review this one as well. Two-for-one on reviews of atrocious webcomics, in honour of the occasion!

You just can't get enough people bashing Shredded Moose. The way it completely consumed the Power Chord thread sort of proved that.
Anonymous said...
For once I can sympathize with the kind of crazed fundie panic to get some evil corrupting abomination off the air, out of the stores, out of our neighborhood, etc.

Because seeing an utter waste of DNA like this guy attempt an anti-religious comic makes me want to send him to Jesus Camp for life just to get him the hell off my side.
AJ said...
The mailman comic was actually really cute (if not exactly clever) which makes me think the "Brew" half of Shedded Moose (another fucking illogical webcomic name) wasn't involved. I still hate the artist, though, just for the way he draws boobs.
Anonymous said...
Shredded Moose cured me of my love for mankind.
Anonymous said...
I still think Single Asian Female is the worst, if only because it pretends to be open-minded and intellectual. Shredded Moose had the...well, not dignity, but they don't pretend to be for equality or anything. And I've never wanted anyone to die so much as when Brew defended Vick. And as one other Anonymous said, this is a HUEG waste of decent artistic skill.
Matt said...
who posted about shredded moose in the first place? thanks a lot.
Matt said...
oh,and i dont know about you guys, but to me shredded moose seems to be down. hmmm....
tehkou said...
Anonymous 23:10: SAF is even creepier when you realize it's written and drawn by a guy. It's the same kind of misogyny, just in a different package.
Anonymous said...
I find it ironic that, for all the artist's misplaced efforts, he has yet to successfully draw a single "hot chick". They're all grotesque caricatures.

Well, maybe the blonde one in this strip is pretty hot:-
http://www.shreddedmoose.com/comic/comic_arc.php?comicID=58

And the best part is that I can say such a thing about her and still look like a saint compared to this "Brew" fellow.
Anonymous said...
oh,and i dont know about you guys, but to me shredded moose seems to be down. hmmm....

It did that to me a few minutes ago, too. I'm no tech-head, but perhaps the "server" can't cope with the exponential increase in "traffic", thanks to this review?

Or perhaps our efforts to will it out of existence are taking effect?
Matt said...
hooray to either one!
Anonymous said...
Forget the boobs, I still hate the artist for how he draws FACES. What's the point of having an otherwise decent style if every single character is inherently set on "disgustingly unappealing smug dipshit"?
Anonymous said...
haha shredded moose got bandwidth overloaded.
Anonymous said...
so NOW can this blog do Wasted Talent, John? Go from a guy acting moronic to a chick/Canadian acting moronic?
Anonymous said...
Well, maybe the blonde one in this strip is pretty hot:-
http://www.shreddedmoose.com/comic/comic_arc.php?comicID=58


Actually, is it just me, or did anyone else find it immensely odd that, for once, a woman was shown in an empowering, non-sexual fashion? I mean, sure, it's empowering in that repulsive gun-nut propaganda kind of way, but we are talking Shredded Moose here.

Man, this comic just doesn't fit in with the others at all. It's just like the postman one, except it's propaganda and not comedy.
Anonymous said...
Hey John, what's your mailing address ? I want to send you something nice.
Or better still I can pay you a visit ... won't that be fun ?!
Anonymous said...
Or perhaps our efforts to will it out of existence are taking effect?

I dunno about you guys, but I'm tapping into all sorts of mystical powers to shut SM down. Chakra, Karma, Juju, Getting on God's Good Side...

Here's hoping.
Lawrence said...
Actually, is it just me, or did anyone else find it immensely odd that, for once, a woman was shown in an empowering, non-sexual fashion? I mean, sure, it's empowering in that repulsive gun-nut propaganda kind of way, but we are talking Shredded Moose here.

Okay, let me preface by saying "I'd still hit it."
With that out of my system, I hazard to wonder if everything about SM is shtick. I mean, he can't be THAT unaware, can he? I mean, he plays X-box!!

...Fuck, now I don't remember if I'm being serious or sarcastic.
Anonymous said...
His site was down earlier. I checked his forum and it looks like he deleted everything that was posted today (which probably included discussion of this article) since everything there was posted yesterday. He also appears to be having bandwidth issues.

Looking at the recent membership roster (loldongs, goddessdesu, crackychan, etc.), it looks like 4chan - er, Ebaumsworld - has decided to raid the crap of him.

Good job, Lilith! You have brought the wrath of Anonymous onto Brew!
tehkou said...
Yeah, the woman in the propaganda strip doesn't have the saggy old-woman boobs, so she actually comes close to resembling an actual attractive woman.

That said, I love the "generic gangster dialogue" in that strip. "Mommy's little girl" "Keep your yap shut." Exactly the kind of stilted bullshit you see in your average strawmanning political campaign.

I also love how she's shooting the robber at point blank range with a shotgun (note that there's the BLAM and the suggestion of blood splatter there) while he's sitting over her daughter's bed, but in the exact next panel, both mommy and daughter are glowing, pristine, and not at all scarred by the fact that a man's brains most likely just exploded over both of them. That's the power of FREEDOM!!
Anonymous said...
Looking at the recent membership roster (loldongs, goddessdesu, crackychan, etc.), it looks like 4chan - er, Ebaumsworld - has decided to raid the crap of him.


http://www.shreddedmoose.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=116

... And so it begins...
Anonymous said...
Oh, don't you go getting political on me, now. Picking on libertarians like that. For shame.
docfrance said...
Check out this piece of shit excuse for a webcomic here you should make this your next target ... and the artist behind it is 24inch dildo riped asshole too. Should make things easy :D

Ha ha, oh wow.

I hope you're being sarcastic.
Adam said...
The truly sad thing about Dave Sim is that he’s the biggest thing Canada has is in “Pure Canadian Comics.”

As to Shredded Moose, I wish to ask this, how did this particular review come to light? Was it the viewers want of a review, and Lilith just got stuck with the bill? Or did someone say “We really need a chick’s response to whack job?”
Anonymous said...
I also love how she's shooting the robber at point blank range with a shotgun (note that there's the BLAM and the suggestion of blood splatter there) while he's sitting over her daughter's bed, but in the exact next panel, both mommy and daughter are glowing, pristine, and not at all scarred by the fact that a man's brains most likely just exploded over both of them. That's the power of FREEDOM!!

Fuck it, you're right! That little girl would have looked even hotter covered in someone else's blood! Way to screw up consistency when it mattered the most, "Trip"!

Damn it.
Nick said...
I'm just amazingly sad right now. I really gotta stop clicking hte links to these articles.
Jeff said...
I've noticed that, of the last four comics reviewed here, two are straight-up gaming comics, one is a heavy metal comic patterned after gaming comics that still has several gaming-related strips, and one is trying desperately not to be a gaming comic and failing.

I know that, even if this blog devotes itself exclusively on gaming comics from now on the sun is likely to expire before you run out of material, but surely there's other comics out there which are bad and who's writers and/or artists should feel bad.
John Solomon said...
Hey John, what's your mailing address ? I want to send you something nice.
Or better still I can pay you a visit ... won't that be fun ?!


Oh, JDR, you card.
Anonymous said...
what's a mookie?
Anonymous said...
Been awhile since I was linked to an article that was genuine shit.
John Solomon said...
As to Shredded Moose, I wish to ask this, how did this particular review come to light? Was it the viewers want of a review, and Lilith just got stuck with the bill? Or did someone say “We really need a chick’s response to whack job?”

We've been mocking Shredded Moose since before the comments section here found it. Well, equal parts mocking and feeling disgusted by, I suppose. Then Lilith asked me if she could jump on board the YWiBaYSFB crew and review Shredded Moose. I said yes because I'm an awesome guy like that.

Plus I thought that if "Brew" decides to do a response which isn't the normal eyerolling pile of shit "I don't have to listen to these people for [Insert Bingo Card Reason Here]" it'd be extra-hilarious since Lilith is a woman and thus an inferior creature in Krümm's misogynistic eyes.

And that's all there is to it.
John Solomon said...
what's a mookie?

It's the sound orcs make when they're getting raped.
Anonymous said...
John Solomon said...

what's a mookie?


You're a mookie
Anonymous said...
Wow! I just read your bio, John

Are you a lesbian ?
Anonymous said...
Lilith Ester, where the homo-erotic image that should go next to your name, confirming your the real asshole and not a fake asshole ?
Matt said...
what does that even mean.
Dr. Haus said...
Huh, so the reaming that SM got in the comments wasn't enough, but now it's got its own article too, and has sparked the wrath of Anonymous towards the same target?

Oh Mr. Solomon and co. of YWiBaYSFB, you know naught of what terror you have struck in the hearts of webcomic artists and writers everywhere!

Is it wrong that this blog is appealing to my sense of schadenfreude?
shrike said...
My. Fucking. God. I couldn't look at all the strips you linked, it was that bad. I've spent the past ten minutes trying to thing of something witty to say, but words fail me. All I can say is that "Brew" needs a good, old-fashioned anal raping.
Mike Saul said...
So let me get this straight:

First John is Josh Lesnick because no more than two people can dislike bad webcomics on their blog.

Now he's Dominic Durgan because no more than two people can hate that piece of shit Dominic Deegan comic.

Next, he'll be noted feminist Catharine MacKinnon, because no more than two people can be against objectifying women in entertainment.
Anonymous said...
John and Lilith: the edrama you've started has been entered into Encyclopedia Dramatica:

http://encyclopediadramatica.com/John_Solomon

Congrats on earning the respect of Anonymous.
Anonymous said...
Next, he'll be noted feminist Catharine MacKinnon, because no more than two people can be against objectifying women in entertainment.

No, Andrea Dworkin, back from the dead.
bar1scorpio said...
Okay, time to play the game: What's More F***ed Up?

The fact that this is being drawn and released on the interwebs....

The fact that it takes 2 drooling psychos to do it (or one drooling psycho, and one possibly abused and mentally traumatized artist with incredibly low self esteem...)

The fact that this site has ADVERTISERS, including WIRED magazine and Wizards of the Coast. And how the hell many readers could he actually have given that this is a NSFW strip, gaming or not?
Anonymous said...
Christ, I'm actually longing for the days when right wing frat boy losers simply made fun of comics nerds instead of trying to participate.

Brew is every asshole suburban boy I moved to the city to get away from all rolled up into one.
Immelmann said...
Somewhere between the squirting of breast milk and the plunge to the vag... I thought, hey, this would be a great time to decapitate myself.
Anonymous said...
for variety's sake, since lately all the reviews have been of comics made by idiotic assholes with no discernible talent, I would like to suggest everybody take a look at kismetropolis, which is a comic made by a rather nice pleasant person with no discernible talent.

seriously. this thing apparently has a plot, but after reading the first sixty or so comics i still had no idea what it was. tack on gag strips that aren't funny and truly horrible art and you've got one for the ages.
Anonymous said...
This is right up there on the top 5 worst peices of crap I have ever seen in my life, the sad thing is because of this review , this little crap comix is prolly getting more hits in 1 night than it has in its previous 90+ pages of sheer cockmongler crap from hell, to say this comix is bad is like saying hitler was naughty
my gawd someone explain to this guy, hes not talented and needs to find a real job
Anonymous said...
I really like your reviewing style alot the great choices of words to describe this mindnumbing piece of crap is indeed a true and real talent, you have my honest respect for actually enduring the mental suffering of reading all of his webcomix please continue the great work and maybe these 2 will realize that what they are doing is stupid and just needs to end?
Mike said...
Tehkou, that's just being picky man. I know the comic sucks, but that's just picky.

And I kinda agree with the first strip. The last fucking thing I want to see when watching sports is a tampon commercial. It also bothers me to see Avodart commercials too, so it's not just limited to women.

The misogyny doesn't real bother me either, it's just the fact that this comic is boring. It's not interesting, it's not funny, it's just boring and lame. I tried reading the archive for any of the ones not linked, but it's just too dull.
Anonymous said...
God damn, is this guy serious? Wow. That's just awful. Somebody should kill him. Fast.

Speaking of which, I'm still considering bumping off the VG Cats guy. I know he deserve it, but I'm just not sure it's worth the risk.

Then again, an asshole that big must have tons of people gunning for him. They'd probably never know it was me unless I screwed up really bad.
Anonymous said...
So you won't review Megatokyo when your readers ask you, but you'll review Shredded Moose because your readers...asked...you...to?

Huh?

I thought this blog wasn't gonna pander to the readers, or does this not count as pandering because you (John Solomon) did not write it? Because if that's the case, then I'd love to see Lilith write a review of Megatokyo and I would also like to see Mike Saul do a review of Rehabilitating Mr. Wiggles.
b said...
Well, the difference being we weren't just screaming "Do Megatokyo!" but we instead found shredded moose, and began analyzing just what was wrong with it and why it needed to be bashed officially.
Anonymous said...
this shit is ruining offensive comedy for everybody. :<
zee said...
The misogyny doesn't real bother me either

Wow, really? What would he have to do to get a rise from you, rip a bitch's head off and fuck the bloody stump? I mean, what the hell?
Anonymous said...
This is without a doubt the worst comic yet - I could have tolerated any of the others without wincing, but...
Anonymous said...
This comic is not entertaining. This piece of dog shit should not be allowed to exist.
J said...
Jesus fucking Christ, that was horrible.

Brew also rages against religion and the religious. And makes gay jokes about piracy protection. Combine the strip about the burly dominator with this and this and it becomes rather clear that Brew is either Republican, libertarian or both.

He's definitely not Republican, those loooove religion. FAMILY VALUES HURRR.

He probably thinks he's an EDGY libertarian.
tehkou said...
Mike: It's being picky to point out the obvious flaw in a piece of propaganda? Seriously?

I mean, if the total whitewashing of the situation was intended to be a joke, and the piece is a parody of right-wing propaganda, then okay. But if it's serious then it raises a pretty major issue with the intended message; that's not being picky, that's calling a spade a spade.
Unwinder said...
Guys, you just don't understand the LITERARY THEMES of Shredded Moose.

You just don't see the SYMBOLISM.

Brew clearly represents GOD in this strip.

If you read all the strips in this context, you will be completely astonished. It is a theological comic. It answers all the big questions.
Anonymous said...
"Lilith Ester"

I rarely, if ever, see a woman write something entertaining or funny.

Great job.
Anonymous said...
I was linked to this comic's Ratatouille strip because, well, Anon loves Ratatouille porn. And indeed, it was decent.
But then I made the horrible mistake of clicking the "previous strip" link and seeing the worst fucking comic strips of my life.
Anonymous said...
John Soloman is the stuff of greatness - more than a spark of genius.

Truly a critic of the highest rank.
Anonymous said...
The bloggers of this blog use anonymous names because they are anonymous. And anonymous does not forgive.
RoboKy said...
Honestly, Shredded Moose doesn't hit the 'bile spitting' level for me like it seems to for everyone else. This might be due the overwhelming pity I feel for everyone involved in the making of it that overrides any sense of disgust. I figure those two may yet grow up and look back upon what they made and realize the amount of hours they poured into it, and feel exactly what it seems everyone else feels when looking at it. We all may wish we could flush out our brains, but to them it's hours heaped upon hours of toil that's resulted in a pretty looking turd. Perhaps a turd with sprinkles on it and arranged to resemble a smiley face.

That said, the column about the comic itself was excellent. It's not easy to maintain outrage and comedy without going too far in either direction and rendering the other null, but it did nicely.
John Solomon said...
I rarely, if ever, see a woman write something entertaining or funny.

Brew?!?! Is that YOU?!?!
Anonymous said...
I rarely, if ever, see a woman write something entertaining or funny.

Been going through the Wasted Talent archives, huh?
Anonymous said...
Looking at those links actually made me feel sick. Let's take this fucker down.

Contact his host, contact his advertisers. Tell them about how he condones date rape and draws comics in which his character, a representation of himself, punches a heavily pregnant woman in the belly and causes her to abort. Hell, tell them about the porn thread if it'll help. Don't let him get away with this sort of shit.
Anonymous said...
Seeing these examples of web comic fail brightened my day and made me realize there will always be people more creatively bankrupt than me.

Thanks for all your reviews. :)
glyph said...
Bit off topic, but I just wanted to say that, inadvertently, this blog introduced me to a webcomic that is truly great: Gunnerkrigg Court. Somewhere deep within the comments on some post I can't locate at the moment, John said "Gunnerkrigg Court has no place on this blog because it is fantastic." So I figure it had to be good, and I was right.

And before anyone says it, no, that doesn't mean John is really GC cartoonist Tom Siddell. Or R.K. Milholland, Al Franken, the Reptilians, the Elders of Zion, the CIA, or the Little Green Man in Your Head.
glyph said...
And oh yeah, in my silliness I forgot to mention: thanks for the recommendation, indirect and inadvertent though it was.
Mike said...
[i]Wow, really? What would he have to do to get a rise from you, rip a bitch's head off and fuck the bloody stump? I mean, what the hell?[/i]

Nothing would get a rise from me. I don't agree with Brew's opinions, but I'm don't believe in telling him he can't express it. If he wants to be a woman hater, then let him, he'll suffer the consequences socially without our help.

On top of that, it's just a comic. It's not like he's out raping women and punch pregnant women in the stomach. Yeah, it's a shitty comic but if the comic, or any comic, makes you physically ill then you have more problems than the creators of the shit.
Candin said...
The sad thing is this piece of shit is well drawn. It's such a waste, he could be drawing something... you know... funny.

Or at least not so morbidly abusive to my brain.
Thorpe said...
The "durr if the pro-lifers take over we'll just have to do it ourselves" abortion strip is truly disturbing, mostly because of the lovingly depicted veiny belly on the woman and the graphic miscarriage, and partly because you know this douche thinks he's totally being Mr. Hip, Relevant Satire.

His strips on religion come off as "edgy jackass" with a dash perhaps of "waaaaaah my parents made me go to church when I wanted to stay home and watch TV and eat Lucky Charms".
Anonymous said...
I keep thinking that it can not get worse. There cannot be a worse comic than this on the entire Internet. And yet I am consistently proved wrong. Good show sirs.
Richard said...
Wow, really? What would he have to do to get a rise from you, rip a bitch's head off and fuck the bloody stump?

That'll have to wait for the Sexy Losers review. Are you guys going to bother with abandoned comics (not that SL didn't have its moments)?
zee said...
Mike, please let us know how that passive-aggressive, "I shall go through life with no strong opinions" thing works out for you. And next time you make a halting attempt at rebuttal, try to resist the urge to counter shit you made up out of whole cloth, mmkay?
Mike said...
You lost me somewhere, Zee. Where exactly was I being passive aggressive? I said the comic sucks. I just think it sucks for different reasons than everyone else. It is possible to do sexually crude humor and be funny. The problem is, Brew is not funny. He's downright boring. The type of humor just doesn't bother me. It only bothers me that it sucks large amounts of dick.
zee said...
Got a strong sense of "leave the guy alone" from your remarks, which seems to imply that you're okay with Brew's freedom of expression but not that of his critics. If that's not what you were getting at then my apologies, but it struck me as a fairly muddled stance at best.
Anonymous said...
And another thing, what's all this "Shredded Moose is edgy" crap? This guy has the mentality of every middle America, mainstream sports watching Howard Stern listening frat/high school jock in the country. What's unconventional about this? Sadly his attitude and mentality are about as typical to our society as they come.
John Solomon said...
It's not like "edgy" is ever good, anyway.

p.s. I've decided that if people still want to insist on telling me to review shit, I'm going to insist on deleting their fucking comments.
zee said...
"Edgy" is just marketing-speak for "huge fucking asshole" anwyay, and the entire concept has lost all meaning beyond its value in selling worthless garbage to hopeless idiots.
b said...
Well, he's now been reported for his use of google ads, since he violated at least a few of their policies. That was fun. Now we just need to break his knees, and possibly castrate him.
Mike said...
Got a strong sense of "leave the guy alone" from your remarks, which seems to imply that you're okay with Brew's freedom of expression but not that of his critics. If that's not what you were getting at then my apologies, but it struck me as a fairly muddled stance at best.

I'm okay with Brew's freedom of expression AND that of his critics. I'm not okay with calling for censorship or removal of his comic, or any other comic for that matter. If he wants to change on his own valition (is that the right word?) becuase of his critics, that's fine. But he shouldn't be forced into it.

And I believe this for all forms of entertainment, including hacks like this.
ja said...
But should he be forced to remove his comic if he, for example, is violating the Acceptable Use Policy of his webhost? I suppose only Mediatemple can make that call. If only someone would let them know...
Anonymous said...
Remember, Brew is a Libertarian. If you try to censor this creep you're just validating him.
Anonymous said...
Bit off topic, but I just wanted to say that, inadvertently, this blog introduced me to a webcomic that is truly great: Gunnerkrigg Court. Somewhere deep within the comments on some post I can't locate at the moment, John said "Gunnerkrigg Court has no place on this blog because it is fantastic." So I figure it had to be good, and I was right.

Same thing happened to me! Several people were saying how great it was, including Solomon, so I thought I'd go check it out. I absolutely love it! Same thing happened again with all the talk of Girly that's been building up. I've known about Girly for some time, but never really paid much attention. I've only read a couple of strips so far, but it looks like I'm really going to enjoy this one, too!

To be honest, I actually regard this blog, and its community of commentators, to be a very positive thing (as well as a provider of morbid entertainment, of course). These are people who hate mediocrity, and who wish others would at least have the self-respect and integrity to challenge themselves and improve - to make something worthwhile, rather than something (often not even) passable.

It's exactly this intolerance for mediocrity that makes me really pay attention whenever any number of like-minded commentators here say that something's actually good.

And then you've got the fact that these reviews actually do contain advice. It may be worded harshly, but if an artist/author would rather hear trite pleasantries than the cold hard truth, then they should just quit now. No-one starts out as the best, you've actually got to work at it, and you must deal with your shortcomings.

Sure, not everything in these reviews is helpful, but these authors/artists would be fools to to just write them off for being rude. Ignore insults, pay attention to constructive criticism.
Jack said...
But he shouldn't be forced into it.

Whoa, whoa, I don't think anyone's serious about removing this comic. None of us are going to go the effort to "cyber petition" this guy let alone do a real protest.

Also, at the risk of making a generalization, I don't think any of are his website hosts either, the ONLY ones who have any real power in censoring him at all. We can rail at him all day to shut down his website, and it won't happen.
Phobos said...
Solomon, please don't delete people requesting comics to be reviewed. I know you have a huge list and all, but I like seeing what people hate on any given day.

Thanks!
Brew said...
I’ll be upfront that I did not write this response with the intention of changing anyone’s mind about the comic, nor am I trying to convince anyone of anything. Not that I really care to change anyone’s minds about Shredded Moose anyway. I will say that I’m impressed (not surprised) by how much energy the dislike towards a *webcomic* can generate. What really gets me is that so many people here seem to take something as rudimentary as a webcomic as something serious. The word “comic” is in there for a reason. I’m baffled at the number of people who think that a two-dimensional illustration, presented on a website, portrayed in such an obviously non-serious manner can be taken as a factual representation of the person who creates it.

Without having any insight or previous experience as to what my personality is like in real life, people are assuming that the “Brew” in the comic is some how an accurate depiction of myself. How anyone out there could have come to the logical and rational conclusion that “Brew” is a self-insertion of myself is beyond me. Was Garfield or Dave, or maybe even Odie the embodiment of Jim Davis? What about Charles Schulz, did he write himself into Peanuts as Linus, Charlie Brown, or Pigpen? Using the same logic someone could imagine that Eminem really is a murdering, wife-beating, rapist. Did Trey Parker and Matt Stone, the creators of Southpark, really harbor some deep desire to chop up some kid’s parents, grind their bodies into chili and feed them to the kid just as Eric Cartman did? Or do they think all Jewish people should be exterminated just like Cartman does? If someone’s initial response to my analogy is to blurt out, “OMG, he’s comparing himself to Schulz and Eminem” then that merely further illustrates my point that this sort of person suffers from a very filtered and skewed perception of reality.

Am I to assume that Solomon has such a callused and jaded view of the world because of the style of his reviews? No, I’ve never met the guy; all I know about him is the very limited, pin-hole view of how he writes his reviews of other people’s work. Maybe he’s a great guy in real life, maybe he’s an ass. The fact is I just don’t know.

And as for Lilith, perhaps the most profound part of her review was when she said, “Occasionally, I start thinking that Brew is actually a parody of sexist, hateful pricks,” Because that’s probably the most insight full and intelligent statement that’s been made on this page. Like Solomon, I know jack about the type of person she is, what kind of an idiot would I be to assume I could derive any insight about her or could judge her character based upon what little *real* information I actually know about her.

The other point about Shredded Moose, a point I’m just staggered that some people don’t seem to get, is that by taking the content of the comic so seriously, they seem to think the Brew in the comic is somehow being portrayed as an uber-misogynist ass hole, who’s better then everyone else. Am *I* the only one who thinks that the shit “Brew” does in the comic seems ridiculous, off the wall, unrealistic and – in some cases – really fucking stupid? In “We Love You Too”, how can his response of face-fucking a doll be considered anything serious? From reading the reviews and the comments it’s pretty clear that there are a lot of people taking a *comic* way to god damn seriously. I’m failing to recall anything that “Brew” has done in the comic that could indicate that he has a solid grasp on the way the “real world” works. Most of what he does makes little sense, is goofy, conflicts with functional social etiquette, and in my opinion, wouldn’t work in a real social setting. He’s hip, he’s cool, he’s a badass… and most of that is going on in his own “brain”; the comic “Steamed” is probably the most recent blatant example of this.

Again, I’m not here to change anyone’s mind. People can hate the comic, they can love the comic, and they can create voodoo dolls and subject them to all sorts of unholy and sadistic tortures as they pray to whatever faith they believe in that Shredded Moose be wiped from the face of the Internet. I can only hope that somewhere along the way that *someone* out there realizes that this is a comic, it’s not real, it’s not meant to be real, it’s not meant to reflect reality, and “Brew” isn’t meant to be some “shining example” of how mankind should behave.
John Solomon said...
Solomon, please don't delete people requesting comics to be reviewed. I know you have a huge list and all, but I like seeing what people hate on any given day.

If people want to talk about what webcomics they think are bad, they can do it without making demands of me or anyone else on this blog.
John Solomon said...
So, Brew, your basic stance is that your webcomic is all a big laugh and we're just not smart enough to appreciate that the bigoted humour it relies upon like a fucking iron lung is meant to be what we're laughing at, rather than the piss-poor jokes?

That's fantastic, if an outright lie, but perhaps you should still consider the fact that your webcomic is terrible and the world would be a better place without it. Just because you say "lmao itz a webcomic duder", that doesn't excuse it from being shit. As has been explained over and over again in previous reviews.

Oh, and your intention of seeming smart and articulate by posting a billion and one words in response has been tragically undermined by those words being frequently incorrect or just plain dumb.
John Solomon said...
All those in favour of a bingo card for "Reasons My Webcomic Isn't Bad", say aye.
ja said...
So, I'm assuming cartoon Brew posted this on a forum: "I think hardcore feminists are born out of something I just touched upon; they haven’t gotten laid in far too long!"

After which the real Brew tried to spin it into something not so misogynistic, I think: "What I was implying was that sex might put a smile on their face."

Because the real Brew doesn't think one can enjoy sex and be a feminist? Or was this the cartoon Brew? I don't know, it's hard to see the line between fake Brew and real Brew, the satire is just that subtle!
John Solomon said...
Oh and congratulations for trying your best to convince use that Brew the character is a well-spoken and educated young man, but Brew the webcomic guy is a bigoted dumbass who deserves to be mocked relentlessly.

Wait, did I get those mixed up?
John Solomon said...
Damn, if this isn't the first few comical pebbles of a hilarious landside of comedy gold, I don't know what is.
b said...
And cartoon Brew must be the one using his real Brew's forum to post up porn. Wow, that's some cartoon character! It's like when Moriarty escaped the holodeck!
John Solomon said...
Maybe we can seal him inside his own personal simulation so he'll never trouble us again.

Nerd cred POWER UP.
Adam said...
Aye john for Bingo xards.

Brew, Brew, Brew. You backpeddling little shit. You're the guy who tell that racist joke in the office and when the black guy confronts you about it, you ardently deny it ever happened.

You're almost as a big a backpeddler as Jerry Falwell. You ignorant, smug fucking liar.

http://archives.cnn.com/2001/US/09/14/Falwell.apology/
adam said...
Jerry Falwell:
"I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians... I point the finger in their face and say 'you helped this happen.'"

"Jerry Falwell said late Thursday he did not mean to blame feminists, gays or lesbians for bringing on the terrorist attacks in New York and Washington this week"
Dan said...
What about Charles Schulz, did he write himself into Peanuts as Linus, Charlie Brown, or Pigpen?

Yes. Charlie Brown was a self-insertion of Charles Schulz.

Here's an interview where he says so.
tehkou said...
Man, there's nothing more hilarious than an "artist" trying to explain his ART.

Hey dude, if you have to explain to people that it's a parody, maybe you're not doing it right.

More webcomic bingo plz.
tehkou said...
Yes. Charlie Brown was a self-insertion of Charles Schulz.

Oh, and while we're doing this, Stan & Kyle from South Park are also intended as loose self-insertions of Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

While Eric Cartman does horrible and awful things, the difference between him and "Brew" is that there are people presented in the worldsetting that are allowed to react to what he does as legitimately horrible.

And Jon's backstory (and career) in Garfield is based largely on that of Jim Davis, so uh, y'know.
glyph said...
"I'm only joking" is NO excuse for unambiguously, graphically offensive and hateful content. Let's have a show of hands: How many people here, Brew included, would find it amusing if I put out a comic, short story, stand-up routine, whatever, saying "We should do what Hitler did and gas all the Jews, then burn them to ashes...AHAHAHA I'M ONLY KIDDING, GOTCHA THERE!"

Hilarious, eh? Eh? NO. Not unless you're a white supremacist or Islamic terrorist. Otherwise, you'd all condemn me in the harshest terms possible and say that such hateful crap doesn't belong on the Internet, or the comedy club, or anywhere else. And you'd be 100% right.

Not everything can be made funny just by tacking "OMG IT'S JUST A JOKE" on the end.
Aldatze said...
"I’m failing to recall anything that “Brew” has done in the comic that could indicate that he has a solid grasp on the way the “real world” works. Most of what he does makes little sense, is goofy, conflicts with functional social etiquette, and in my opinion, wouldn’t work in a real social setting. He’s hip, he’s cool, he’s a badass… and most of that is going on in his own “brain”; the comic “Steamed” is probably the most recent blatant example of this."

First, aye aye for the bingo cards.

Anyway, Brew, about your character.

It seems to me that you are trying to create this character that points out social trends in a crass, in your FACE manner. Whatever, this isn't the first time an author has done this, nor will it be the last.

Here is the problem. Your character is a douche. Your character beats up women, children, and sometimes seals, just so he can prove a point. And usually that point is something that revolves around himself. "Abort babies, so I won't have to deal with kids!" "Kids annoy me, kill them!" "I kill seals so I can get chicks!"

No one likes Brew because he's a selfish dick. We say "Hey author, you're Brew!" because you are the only person who finds this funny. If you didn't maybe your comic wouldn't suck so much. In a sea of people disgusted by Brews actions, you are the one person who won't call him out on it, you agree that it's totally cool.

There is an art to having a character be lovable and a douche-bag. First, he has to have someone call him out on his idiocy. Brew is never punished for being a jackass frat boy, he just keeps on rolling. Sorry, but that's not how the real world works. He should at least be insulted for his shitty behavior, preferably by someone who isn't just a strawman for more of his misogyny.

The only character I find remotely likable and worth developing in this train wreck is the blond haired kid, I say "blond haired kid" because he's so underdeveloped that I can't remember his name. He's naive and plays well against Brews douche-baggery. He should be the one pointing out how much of a stupid asshole Brew is, if not with words, with his actions. Sure, this isn't the most original solution, but ANYTHING would make this comic suck less. Right now, you're trying to have your cake and eat it to with a character who is an asshole to everyone and the world adores him. You think he's hip, and cool, and a badass, because you and Brew are one and the same. Learn some humility man.
tehkou said...
Reading Brew's hilarious defensive rant, I decided to see how our good friend Mistry was doing. And lo, it turns out he really did pull the plug on Weird Comix.

So looks like he was serious about taking the criticism to heart after all. Good for him.
glyph said...
Well, except that Mistry didn't say he was ending it because of criticism, here or anywhere else. He said he was going to be too busy with school. Could be just a face-saving cover story, but in fairness we have no evidence for that. Occasionally one does find people who say up front they've quit a project because they were sick of all the criticism. An example would be goth novelist Caitlin R. Kiernan. She said in an interview after her DC Vertigo comic The Dreaming got cancelled that she wouldn't go back to writing comics because she was fed up with all the reader criticism. But it's pretty rare for people to admit publicly that criticism made them stop; it's seen as "giving in" to one's critics.
tehkou said...
True, true. Given the timing, I suspect it was a combination of the two. It sounds like he'd stopped caring/had gotten too busy for it a while back. If you're already questioning whether or not it's worthwhile, there's nothing like a fresh wave of criticism to make you say "yeah, okay, time to put this shit to rest."

Of course, it's all just speculation either way. We'll see if he puts any of the advice into practice when/if he starts a new project. He's young and he has talent, so I genuinely hope that he does.
John Solomon said...
Drawing every day is a great way to practice and improve yourself, you just have to realise that if you then put those drawings up on the internet, people are allowed to say they're shit.

You also should actually put effort into them and improve, not stagnate for years at a time without getting better in any recognisable way like, oh, I don't know, half the people I've reviewed. Especially Terracciano.

Also, making a webcomic involves being able to write as well as being able to draw. If you can't pen a joke, an interesting story or whatever, your drawings can be as nice as nice can be but still be a fucking terrible webcomic.

If you can't write, find someone who can. And don't just go "hey can anyone write" because every fucking idiot will go "I SURE CAN" because they're fucking deluded. Find someone who can provide you with a piece of work that's either been published or is available for you and five others can read and enjoy.

That's the key point, right there: it doesn't matter if you alone approve of it. You may have absolutely terrible taste in fiction, for all you know. Do a quick check by seeing if you read VG Cats or Dominic Deegan on a regular basis. I'm sorry, but it's probably incurable. In any case, get a small audience to approve of the writing (and the art) before you start slinging your final product it out to the masses.

Maybe then you won't be so far up your own ass that when I come along and point out your numerous flaws, you and the drooling retards that read your crappy comic won't throw a girly little hissy fit and call me schoolyard names. It's pitiful when the jerk responsible does it, it's downright pathetic when someone with no proper attachment to the webcomic does it. Show some fucking dignity, will you?

Goddamn webcomics, seriously.
John Solomon said...
Holy shit that was a post and a half. I think I might need a break from all this DRAMA.
Anonymous said...
I love how the author swears that Brew isn't his alter ego when he's about as Mary Sue as you can get.

Is the main character a less ugly portrait of the author? Check.(see the front page)

Is the main character the "cool guy" who parties and gets laid all the time while his less successful friends are always asking for his advice? Check.

Does the main character still get laid by hot chicks despite having a lousy personality, a shitty job, and horribly nerdy hobbies? Check.

Does the main character commit acts of violence without any consequences in order to fulfill the author's revenge fantasies? Check.

Is the main character immune from criticism of any kind? Check.

All the author needs to do now is give Brew superpowers and have him fuck Jessica Biel and his Mary Sue fantasy will be complete.
Merdoror said...
BEHOLD
the only comic on this site that actually made me angry instead of just discontent
zee said...
Jesus, this guy is an ever bigger fuckstick than I'd thought. I might have had some small amount of respect for him if he'd come in here and stuck do his guns, but instead he tries to slime his way out of every accusation made against him and his shitty comic... mainly by claiming not to own the opinions and attitudes consistently expressed therein, which is just sheer bullshit on its face. I know he thinks his readers are undiscriminating fuckwits, which is probably true, but that shit ain't gonna fly 'round here.

On that same note he also disingenuously shifts blame for his comic's shortcomings from the creator to the audience, with "you just don't get it" playing its well-worn role as the classic excuse of every terrible yet self-satisfied "artist" who's ever lived. Dude, Family Circus has more layers of hidden meaning and ironic self-awareness than your repulsive little wish-fulfillment strip is ever going to attain, and the sooner you realize this the better.

So congratulations, "Brew." You've actually made me think less of you than I did before you piped up. Didn't think that was even possible.
Anonymous said...
"Gunnerkrigg Court has no place on this blog because it is fantastic."

This quote got me thinking. This blog has grown by leaps and bounds from when it started. You seem to have amassed a staff of writers, or at least two others besides yourself, and you have more readers than most of the webcomics you review. It wouldn't be a stretch to say that you're in a position where you could help shape the webcomic community at large, for the better.

The idea that came to mind has probably been suggested a hundred times over, but you guys could start another blog as a sideproject together, listing or bringing to light good webcomics, particularly those that go relatively unknown, like Gunnerkrigg Court. I've certainly never heard of it up until now. Now, why would someone go out of their way to do this? There are a few reasons:

1) Most webcomic reviewers are asskissers. You guys have a knack for analyzing shit and a strong command of the English language, which sets you apart from the Tangents out there.

2) By citing actual good webcomics, dipshits like Brew can see what actual good writing looks and flows like, and might hopefully learn something, give up, or hang themselves in shame.

3) By citing actual good webcomics, readers who find themselves reading shitty webcomics, because they have nothing better to read, can find better things to read. The unsung gems of the webcomic community could use the traffic, and if people find enough good strips to pad their bookmarks, they'll have plenty entertainment to justify finally dropping shit like Dueling Analogs and Shredded Moose for actual good content. So by sharing things better to read, you can get people to stop reading shitty comics.

This would, naturally, lead to every idiot with a keenspace page spamming your collective mailboxes plugging their shit, which is undesirable. I believe you have enough clout that a disclaimer of "If you have to ask, you don't need to be listed" would carry weight.

That one quote had me thinking. What other fantastic comics have I not heard of, that I could send traffic to? Things like onlinecomics.net and topwebcomics.com are so chocked full of shit that mining out the gems is tiresome. You've got an audience and a posse, you could actively shut out the shitty comics.

Also, if the guy who draws for Brew is reading this, Quit. You have talent, find a better use for it than this shit.
Anonymous said...
I know that anything that comes after Shredded Moose is going to seem like small fry, but I recently discovered Bonobo Conspiracy, an animu-styled sprite-esque comic where the main character is a self-insert who has a thing for cute little anime girls (that little girl image was taken from the Wikipedia article on loli), and lots of jokes about Linux.
John Solomon said...
The idea that came to mind has probably been suggested a hundred times over, but you guys could start another blog as a sideproject together, listing or bringing to light good webcomics, particularly those that go relatively unknown, like Gunnerkrigg Court. I've certainly never heard of it up until now.

The "webcomics community" - such as it is - treats me either as a joke or a troll, when I am neither, simply because I choose to not engage in their neverending circlejerk. The Culture of Nice, where people who aren't Nice (like myself) are wrong because we're not Nice.

This extends to webcomic fans. People who do not follow these things in a casual manner tend to be... well, crazy. Liable to fly off the handle when I review their favourite webcomic. They do not make the webcomic, they have no say in how it is made, they are still infuriated. Because they're crazy.

You all know this, hopefully, but it bears repeating because if I start looking at good webcomics, these same people are going to start tearing them to shreds with a lack of logic that makes GodHatesFags.com seem like an enlightened philosophy. I've already had people tell me that Gunnerkrigg Court is bad because the main character is a young girl which makes me a pedo faggot. Why? Because I'm John Solomon, the pantomime villain of the "webcomics community", to be heckled and booed.

Good webcomics are, usually, doomed to obscurity by the simple fact that people who like them aren't the same kind of gibbering apes who are attracted to pieces of shit like, say, Dominic Deegan. I don't feel the need to tell everyone to go read webcomics I like, even though I really should, but your average Deeganite will stop people on the street and invite them to join the orc rape party.

Praise for good webcomics is out there, though. You don't need me for that. Especially since people will be too busy trying tom post a billion comments on how it's really totally terrible and not as good as Pastel Defender Heliotrope or College Roomies From Hell, as if slandering my choices will somehow make their favourites suck a little less.

Not to mention everyone who'd tell me I've sold out.
Rumpelstiltzkin said...
Latecomer to the party, I know, but THANK YOU for doing Shredded Moose. I followed the link back when someone mentioned it in the comments and was caught somewhere between appalled laughter and numbed horror for a good half hour as I browsed the archives. I even half-contemplated making a forum account so I could say "What the HELL!?" to 'Brew'.

Eventually I decided that I was too tired to enjoy a flamefest, and just closed the browser and expunged the record from my history so as never to accidentally return to that benighted land. This review needed to be said, though, and I've wanted to go back ever since then, because I figured John would never do a review for a comic that was plugged in the comments. I now realize that if he did that, then people could guide him AWAY from comics by begging for them to be reviewed, and thus the only safe course remains, as it has been, to say "Fuck you all" to the readers and just do whatever one pleases. (Kudos for sticking to that, John; while I can cheerfully ignore assholes, I would have caved to the "friendly" requests by now, were I in your captain's chair.)

I can't really add anything more to the comments about Shredded Moose; I just wanted to express my gratitude that this review was made. (Nice opener, Lilith. Zelazny FTW!) That comic was jaw-droppingly, agonizingly offensive in every way imaginable, from the deformed breasts to the imbecilic "jokes" to the infantile attempts at political commentary. I laughed out loud at the PA "zinger" strip, if only because that kind of thing is really, really special. I have no idea how anyone can buy the excuse that Brew, the character, is meant to be a parody; if you're trying to skewer a worldview or a personality type, then you need to, y'know, actually do something that shows them wrong rather than continually validating their inch-deep convictions.

Bonus laffs: The forum thread in which the comic's weakly pulsing dong is schlorped by a Robert A. Howards-style "critic."
Anonymous said...
I posted this in Me and You and Mary-Sue's comments section, but I thought it bore repeating here:-

To be honest, I don't think I can take much more of Shredded Moose for a while. I now have the same kind of morbid respect for webcomic reviewers that I usually reserved for pathologists who specialise in post-mortems.

I really need to go get a mental enema. Read some GOOD webcomics, lie down for a bit, think of nice things...
Rumpelstiltzkin said...
Eh, scratch that. Catching up on threads from a few days ago, I see that the review thread at Shredded Moose is, in fact, largely tongue-in-cheek and Brew is just too dense to realize it and is thus responding cheerfully every other post.

Oh, well. That'll teach me to skim boring threads in horrible webcomic forums, I guess.
Paul P. said...
Lilith, your word are'nt harsh enough for this pile of shit.
Anonymous said...
The idea that came to mind has probably been suggested a hundred times over, but you guys could start another blog as a sideproject together, listing or bringing to light good webcomics, particularly those that go relatively unknown, like Gunnerkrigg Court. I've certainly never heard of it up until now.

Praise for good webcomics is out there, though. You don't need me for that.


Personally, I think that this comments section is a pretty good place for it. Think about it: there's plenty of intelligent people here who like to read webcomics that are actually good.

Even if the YWiBaYSFB crew stick solely to dealing with garbage, we can certainly come up with the goods ourselves. After all, I've already gotten Gunnerkrigg Court and Girly from the comments.
Mark. said...
Aye.

I can't honestly say that SM offended me upon reading through the various links Lilith provided, in the same way that I'm not offended when someone opts to use their own bathroom: they've made a horrible, disgusting thing, but I can avoid it so I can't muster up much venom towards it.

That said, I'm guessing that Brew has this idea in his head that he's trying to simultaneously express his opinions whilst also trying to create satire, which would be fine except that he doesn't do anything to distinguish one from the other, so one can't tell what he believes and what he's joking about.

I also think he's hiding behind the Modest Proposal stance, which qualifies him as a heinous asshole on general principle.

And on an unrelated note: I know it's been asked before, but is the biblical theme of your pseudonyms for a specific reason or just because it happened?
John Solomon said...
We're the Elders of Zion.

Also, anyone using a "Modest Proposal" who isn't Jonathan Swift and therefore DEAD should endeavour to change that. You never read it first hand, you're just copying something someone else did that they copied from someone else who probably got it from Wikipedia without reading it first hand either.

Diluting Swift's talent through a dozen levels of Xeroxing just makes you look like an incompetent asshole who can't even put together his own fucking argument. I mean, you're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't, but at least go out with some originality.

Oh wait yeah webcomics. Nevermind.
Anonymous said...
So I just read the entire archive, figuring you must have cherry-picked the really bad comics out of all the comic.

I will never doubt you again, and I apologize for doing so. This comic was like reading cancer.
Unwinder said...
The review thread at Shredded Moose is, in fact, largely tongue-in-cheek and Brew is just too dense to realize it and is thus responding cheerfully every other post.

Yeah, dude. That's me. I'm a long-time reader of this blog, and a longer-time hater of bad webcomics.

When I saw Shredded Moose, I made it my personal pet project to do everything in my power to tell Brew exactly what was wrong with each and every one of his strips. In detail. Also, I have been encouraging to pursue any sort of change that qualifies as an improvement.

Rumpelstiltzkin.

I am just trying to make the world a better place.
Anonymous said...
Unwinder: Aren't YOU the one writing them?
Anonymous said...
If Brew is meant to be a parody of frat boys, then he isn't a good or even a mediocre one.

Brew is never made to look foolish for his actions. The few critics he does have are punished (often violently) for opposing him, so he is always right. He exhibits stereotypical frat boy behavior (drinking, skirt chasing, date rape), but never in a way that makes this behavior look stupid or evil. Where is the parody?

Frat boys are almost as easy to parody as fundamentalist preachers, yet he can't do either of these things right. Pathetic.
Unwinder said...
Anonymous: Unwinder: Aren't YOU the one writing them?

Writing what?
Unwinder said...
I just said that I write the tongue-in-cheek reviews. Are you insinuating that I write the comic?

Because I don't.

I would not write that.
Matt said...
Although I do think a blog detailing good webcomics would be handy for my own uses, I agree that nobody making bad comics would pay any attention at all. Good suggestion though.
glyph said...
Even if John wanted to run an "overlooked good webcomics" blog, he'd have to do so under another assumed name, and a different writing style, in order to prevent what, as he's said, would be a barrage of vindictive trolls making far-fetched criticisms just to prove a point. So would Ted, Mike and Ester. But then there'd be no point in launching the blog at all, because we wouldn't know it was them, and so they'd have to build an audience all over again.

Even encouraging people to leave comments here, about their favourite overlooked gems, would be a bad idea. There'd be no quality control, and John would have to start deleting endless spam along the lines of "Check out my totally original comic Joyshticks, about two hilarious he-men gamers who sit on a couch and make jokes about Pong and Space Invaders while hawt nekkid chicks pleasure them. And it's all expertly rendered in MS Paint!"
Matt said...
sounds like a great comic. get me in on some of that action.
Ozymandias said...
Seriously, this review doesn't even do justice to SM. The English language is literally too limited in its power to convey how bad it is. Nothing you can say carries the weight necessary to make it known. You have to find a phrase in Navajo or something to get it across.
a25 said...
Click click fucking shit?
glyph said...
You have to find a phrase in Navajo or something to get it across.

The Inuit have thirty different words for "bad webcomic."
Maxim Kovalenko said...
Just wanted to say that I love this blog...

And while we're talking about worst webcomics...

http://triquetracats.comicgenesis.com/

Makes Dominic Deegan look like fucking Tolstoy
glyph said...
From what I've sampled (early, middle and recent), Triquetra Cats is essentially your average boring, amateurish Comic Genesis-hosted webcomic. If one were to make a bingo card for such comics, this would land you "bingo" rather quickly:

Fourth rate manga art; gender bending; poor font choice; poor spelling; frequent update lapses; lame excuses for update lapses... Need I go on? No.

Incidentally, the cartoonist's announcements are all in nearly-illegible handwriting for some reason. Even--gasp!--Comic Sans would be better than that when you're communicating directly with your readers.

Other than that...yeah, it's bad, but it's average, boring bad, not "Burn its memory out of my brain with a butane torch" bad, like the webcomics we've seen over the last week. In fact, I've written far too much about it already.
Anonymous said...
http://www.shreddedmoose.com/comic/comic_arc.php?comicID=20

haha, I remember the first time I saw a rendition of this joke... in a Bloom County strip from 1980 (about McDonalds). Except it didn't have the "rad" violence. Or the self-insulting character. In fact, never mind.
Steve No_ said...
Your comment was far too long, too un-damning, and needs to contain SVG rework or something to suggest the hangup which Shredded Moose have to get past in order to actually start appreciating the art and propriety which would make them funny and/or prone to invention.

Recapitulating bad is like taking nice baked nightsoil and mixing in new waste; you have to start over again and it wastes time.
Roboky said...
What 'Real Brew' doesn't realize is that even if you distance the real man from the fictional character it's still a very shitty written webcomic. The delivery of the jokes, the way they're built up, the fact that more than half the comics don't even contain a punchline (or if they do it's so flatly delivered to the point of ridiculousness), are all big fat pointers that say "Hey guy, your webcomic is pretty atrocious, why not take the car off cruise control and learn to fucking drive?".

Honestly, trying to use that "IT'S ALL A JOKE" defence just peels back the veneer of crap shock-comedy to show that, well gosh! It seems you're ugly on the inside too.
Asila said...
The multitude of reasons for why Solomon shouldn't do a 'good webcomics' blog have already been listed, so I won't reiterate them. I would just hate to have a genuinely good comic blasted by a hoard of morons just because Solomon happened to mention it.
With that said, I'd like to jump onto the 'Gunnerkrigg Court' wagon. I actually started reading it because other people in the comments mentioned it, and since then have encouraged others (who've never heard of Solomon) to read it--and I'm not much of an 'encourager' normally.
Anonymous said...
jeez fuego you sure do get lots of comments on this blog
Anonymous said...
On that line, what kind of traffic is YWiBaYSFB getting? It seems to have exploded in popularity. Certainly the comment sections is lively, and a review is apparently enough to direct a significant amount of traffic to the target webcomic.
Anonymous said...
since september is turning into "webcomics chock full of misogyny drawn by guys who have never actually seen a woman naked" maybe you should review Craving Control.

http://www.drunkduck.com/Craving_Control/

it's about an animu girl with huge boobs who's constantly eating because deep down she's actually hungry for something else (wink nudge) and she falls in love with the author's avatar character (wow, what a shocking twist...)
Anonymous said...
Well, damn.

I've been so caught up reading this ever-so-delightful archive, that I seem to have lost track of Time.

Honestly, 3 AM?

Keep up the good work.
Diana said...
Since the fine contributors of this blog can't really recommend good comics without people being dicks about it, I'll post a few links here and hope I garner them some new readers:

Raymondo Person
Smithson
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Girls With Slingshots

Check 'em out!
Jack said...
You know, after reading the latest batch of comments, for some reason Shredded Moose's portrayal of women and it's hypersexualized characters remind me of Sinfest for some reason.

But the difference between Slick and Brew is pretty apparent within the first 20 strips of both comics. Slick isn't someone to be emulated, and frequently is the butt of jokes. This is unlike Brew, who is predominantly the winner in most strips, which is why someone mentioned earlier he's a douche.

And in addition, Tat's one of the quietest Webcomic artists in the world. His only regular contact other than the comic is "Notes of Resistance" which rarely reference the comic and are so cryptic and self-deprecatory at times, it's non-offensive.

In fact, according to Wikipedia, the only self-insert he does do in Sinfest is as the pet owner of the dog and cat (Pooch and Percival). And all the years I've been reading Sinfest, I can count on one hand the times the master's been in the strip (and his face is never seen).


So, really, the fact that SM reminds me of Sinfest just was me plugging Sinfest. Ha ha!
Bobert Locke said...
I'll try some of those. :) Already read GWS, and SMBC bored me (plus that crap with the disappearing archives pissed me off) but I haven't heard of the other two :)

Also, if you're not reading Sam and Fuzzy, you're missing out.

Also, Sinfest bores the hell out of me. It's just the same crap rehashed over and over. Maybe that's just me, note this is from someone who isn't entertained by PBF either...
Disposable Ninja said...
"http://www.drunkduck.com/Craving_Control/"

Okay, that comic pisses me off, and I'll tell you why: there is some really cool art in there. In a lot of the strips, there's this clever usage of broad linework and flat coloring.

But then... then he goes and wastes it on this weird, disturbing tit/fat fetish monster he calls "Lalia" -- who is so anatomically incorrect its actually baffling.
John Solomon said...
On that line, what kind of traffic is YWiBaYSFB getting? It seems to have exploded in popularity. Certainly the comment sections is lively, and a review is apparently enough to direct a significant amount of traffic to the target webcomic.

There's nothing available for me to accurately measure, weirdly enough, but it's also nowhere near as popular as you might think. It's around 600-800 on a non-update day, around 2000 on an update day. That's pretty much "Comic Genesis sprite webcomic" level.

Which is fine by me, because more readers means more trolls. I get a big enough influx when someone decides to link to me after I slander their favourite webcomic, making a forum post going "HEY LOOK AT THIS JACKASS, LET'S TROLL HIM 2 DA MAXX" and then I get to spend a quiet five minutes every day deleting "YOU SUCK, MAGICAL MSPAINT CATGIRL RUUUULLLLEEEES" comments.

Thankfully the various sad little people who have dedicated their lack of a life to "thwarting" me somehow (hello, Robert A. Howard) seem to think that I actually want to be inundated by festering imbeciles and so don't link to me. Phew, crisis averted.
Anonymous said...
I'm actually tempted to check somebody has actually done Magical MSPaint Catgirl.
Peter said...
Personally, I'm surprised nobody has noted the ad banner at the top of the comics archive pages at the moment is an inordinately pink and youtube ad.
Anonymous said...
My question is...

Does anyone else notice that he drew a vagina with TWO openings?

Its obvious that the only referance he's had for all of the other female figures are porn mags, but Is the artist THAT out of touch with female anatomy that he has absolutly no clue as to what female genitalia ACTUALLY look like?
John Solomon said...
I'm actually tempted to check somebody has actually done Magical MSPaint Catgirl.

I know a guy. I'll make it happen.
Phobos said...
I'm actually tempted to *do* Magical MSPaint Catgirl
Lilith Ester said...
Seriously, this review doesn't even do justice to SM. The English language is literally too limited in its power to convey how bad it is. Nothing you can say carries the weight necessary to make it known. You have to find a phrase in Navajo or something to get it across.

I considered writing this review in Russian (my first language), since I can think of a few good expletives that would describe Shredded Moose perfectly.

But there was a niggling little problem. I haven't written Russian for seven years.
Anonymous said...
"There's nothing available for me to accurately measure, weirdly enough, but it's also nowhere near as popular as you might think. It's around 600-800 on a non-update day, around 2000 on an update day. That's pretty much "Comic Genesis sprite webcomic" level."

John, install Google Analytics if you haven't already. It's a wonderful set of tools.
John Solomon said...
John, install Google Analytics if you haven't already. It's a wonderful set of tools.

It's asking me for private information and I distrust that. I'll go without, thank you.

It doesn't matter, anyway, since I don't really care.
Anonymous said...
Does anyone else notice that he drew a vagina with TWO openings?

It's supposed to be the opening to the urethra (it's between the clitoris and vaginal opening), but it's too fucking big.

I want to know where he saw a woman with a urethral opening that big, and why he didn't fucking tell her to go to an OB/GYN. ... Or does he not know that one is?
Anonymous said...
*What that is?

Sorry for fucking that up.
Rocky said...
Would you consider reviewing Looking For Group webcomic?

There was thing that bothers me with this comic - placement of text-ballons. It's hard to follow dialog properly because of that. Is it just me, or ....
Anonymous said...
A different kind of horrible.
Anonymous said...
Heh, It made me chuckle the webcomic did. I don't feel bad because I don't take it seriously. I've seen alot more offensive stuff on the internet and this is not one of them.

Don't like it?
Don't read it.
Anonymous said...
I don't know where else to send this in but you really need to do one on this shit-pile: http://thelounge.comicgenesis.com/
I haven't read it in years, and I don't intend to subject myself to it now, but this guy has no idea how people talk, or the dynamics of a love story. Or the dynamics of anything other than sitting alone in your room jerking off to pictures you drew of your perfect woman.
bar1scorpio said...
AYE AM SPARTICUS. Oh, and while you're at it, you should have a t-shirt already. Just maybe a picture of biblical King Solomon, pointing at the reader, or at some generic webcomic creator, and saying "And thus, Wise Solomon Spake: "Your Webcomic Is Bad and You Should Feel Bad" - Kings 3:16 "

Oh, by far, my favorite result of a review. This may end up becoming a Lollercoaster to Great Justice.

Brew is 100% Mary-Sue. He may also be Byron Hall, but that's another story. Given that he responds in the forums as "Brew" and has an icon of "Brew" I think it's safe to say that he identifies primarily with "Brew".

Something you guys are missing are the RULES for his Forum.
Rule #3: The Rule of the Pink Taco.
"Nudity, pornography, whatever… he Campus Server is not a porn dumping ground." (Um.. yeah... your entire site is NSFW, from the photo of Brew sharing a porno mag with Ronald McDonald, to the frequent T&A and V in the comic itself. The strip is NSFW, with no content advisory anywhere on the main page, the archives, or the strip updates page.)
"Since Shredded-U has students of all ages we will not permit uploading or the sending of such images (i.e. nudity, porn, etc) via the Campus PM system."
(If you were honestly concerned about 'Students of all ages", wouldn't you have the rest of your site be safe for all ages?)

The artist, at least, does show some talent. Kinda looks like tattoo "flash" art.

Craving Control seems to be a fetish, comic, obsessed with the practice of "feeding". Oh well, at least it's not forced...

Lillith, I have some friends who still speak Russian fluently... you want some help?
Mekhet said...
Hmm... This is a really bad comic, all of the points to why it is one is horrendous have already been refuted but I must say there is one thing I would like to see. I would like to see the two man self-insert characters fucking each other... If anyone could do that, and in that style, it would be epic.
tehkou said...
I would like to see the two man self-insert characters fucking each other... If anyone could do that, and in that style, it would be epic.

All I know is that Brew would be on the bottom, and they'd both be making making the faces they're making in the third panel here.
John Solomon said...
Don't like it?
Don't read it.


So don't read my blog.
Mike Saul said...
Yeah, drawing people fucking each other in the ass is the pinnacle of humor. Good job making the blog look as dumb as the shit we review, guys.
tehkou said...
I said nothing about 'pinnacle'. Mentioning that something amuses you in passing is a far cry from actually taking the time to draw it and then posting it on the web as serious comedy that people should be sending you money for.