I have to start this one by talking about Penny-Arcade. Regardless of how you feel about the strip, it's undeniable that it's the "inspiration" for every other gaming comic out there. Gabe and Tycho are the Adam and Eve that spawned all the tribes of Gamer Comic Israel, a peoples defined by limited (lazy) artwork, niche jokes and terrible mascots. But it's unfair to dump the blame for shit like CAD or VG Cats on the makers of PA, since they only wanted to do their own comic and never encouraged or envisioned all the imitators who were soon to follow. Their humble beginnings tapped into a huge nerd market, and it's only natural that once they started making actual money off their project, millions of stunted nerds' pupils turned into big green dollar signs as they reached for their copy of Macromedia Flash.
Amidst this endless, tedious, boring sea of pale imitators and sad wannabes, it's difficult for a particular gaming comic to stand out in its sheer awfulness. But Dueling Analogs, made by Steve Napierski, somehow manages that dubious honor. Now when you clicked that, I'm sure you noticed the terrible artwork right away. Now imagine what it would look like if it wasn't drawn in a program that automatically smooths out your lines. Yeesh. As you hesitantly click the "First" button, you'll see it's not improved at all since the first strips. Which is really a shame, since it really needs to. I love that last one. You can practically hear him going "Shit, I really don't want to draw a face!" Gee, I wonder why?
Considering the strip is late to the crap party that is terrible gaming comics (it only started in late 2005), the lack of good art is forgivable. Well, it would be, except Steve-O is a goddamn lazy hack who sucks.
I could end my review right here, really. That kind of blatant laziness and formulaic lack of creativity is hard to top, and that's not even factoring in how insufferably smug that little shit is. But I want to talk about Steve-O's writing, if you want to call it that. First of all, Despite being 2 years old, the comic has running gags, or as I like to call them, cheap gimmicks. The first one is "rejected megaman villains" and the other is "video games I'm glad were never made". Now, despite not meeting the running gag requirement of being funny or getting funnier each time they're shown (not that the maker of Dueling Analogs knows thing one about comedy), I'm told these are the most popular strips, which leads me to wonder exactly what kind of man-apes Napkinski's audience is made up of. Also note that the second running gag is in the exact same formula as recurring photoshop contests from both Something Awful and Fark, but I'm sure that's just a coincidence, since you'd have to be a total fucking unoriginal hack and borderline retard to steal from such well-known sites.
Beyond his recurring gimmicks, Steve-O also loves using the Mario Brothers, but not as much as he loves reminding you that they're gay homos who take it up the butt. With each other. LOL! Popular video game characters depicted as sexual deviants? That's totally fresh, edgy and in my face, man! I feel like I'm on Newgrounds circa 1998!
By now you might have noticed that a lot of the "jokes" linked involve gay sex or penis jokes somehow. But don't get the idea that Steve is "that way"! No way, he's a classy gent who knows a thing or two about ladies. Specifically, he knows that bitches ain't nuthin' but tits and ass. NOTHING. For reference, here's artwork of the main character from "Beyond Good and Evil", and here's how Mr. "leans-to-the-left, leans-to-the-right, grins in the last panel" draws her. Apparently, everything is better with more garbonzas.
There are almost no instances of women being featured in this misogynistic shitpile of a comic where they're not depicted as sex toys, eye candy, bitchy idiots or vapid sluts. The eye candy one is by far the most common: like a preteen who's balls have just dropped, Stevie loves to draw ladies' curvy parts, which is too bad since he sucks at it. Check out the quarterback shoulders, impossibly flat ass and spherical nipple on that redhead! Boy howdy, it's all I can do not to jizz all over my designer pants!
I know I've made you click a ton of links to that horrible comic by now, and I'm really sorry about it, but mere words can't convey how truly hideous and smug this damn thing is. I mean, he takes shots at other gaming comics like he's an authority on the subject or some shit. He drew his 11-year-old-looking main character having sex with a faceless woman (the woman is not important, you see, she's just the vehicle to receive his holy man-seed). He's borderline racist. He's a drooling fanboy. He's a smug asshole. His few comics that don't rely on tits, fanboyism, gay jokes or just bashing some random big company are trite and unfunny. I read through the whole archives without even smiling once, and I'm a pretty easily-amused guy. But then, we're talking about a guy who proudly compares himself to VG Cats, so comedy isn't really an option. Just stop making this comic, Steverino. Or at least just drop the flimsy censorship bars and make it a cheap porn comic. You've already got the market on deformed, balloon-titted women covered.
As a final laugh, here's a pin-up of Samus Aran he did. The proportions on it are laughably bad, and say more about his lack of talent and failure to grasp anatomy than I ever could. Look; she's supposed to have her hand on her hip, but since she doesn't fucking have any, she appears to be grabbing her cooch. Now THAT's entertainment!
Amidst this endless, tedious, boring sea of pale imitators and sad wannabes, it's difficult for a particular gaming comic to stand out in its sheer awfulness. But Dueling Analogs, made by Steve Napierski, somehow manages that dubious honor. Now when you clicked that, I'm sure you noticed the terrible artwork right away. Now imagine what it would look like if it wasn't drawn in a program that automatically smooths out your lines. Yeesh. As you hesitantly click the "First" button, you'll see it's not improved at all since the first strips. Which is really a shame, since it really needs to. I love that last one. You can practically hear him going "Shit, I really don't want to draw a face!" Gee, I wonder why?
Considering the strip is late to the crap party that is terrible gaming comics (it only started in late 2005), the lack of good art is forgivable. Well, it would be, except Steve-O is a goddamn lazy hack who sucks.
I could end my review right here, really. That kind of blatant laziness and formulaic lack of creativity is hard to top, and that's not even factoring in how insufferably smug that little shit is. But I want to talk about Steve-O's writing, if you want to call it that. First of all, Despite being 2 years old, the comic has running gags, or as I like to call them, cheap gimmicks. The first one is "rejected megaman villains" and the other is "video games I'm glad were never made". Now, despite not meeting the running gag requirement of being funny or getting funnier each time they're shown (not that the maker of Dueling Analogs knows thing one about comedy), I'm told these are the most popular strips, which leads me to wonder exactly what kind of man-apes Napkinski's audience is made up of. Also note that the second running gag is in the exact same formula as recurring photoshop contests from both Something Awful and Fark, but I'm sure that's just a coincidence, since you'd have to be a total fucking unoriginal hack and borderline retard to steal from such well-known sites.
Beyond his recurring gimmicks, Steve-O also loves using the Mario Brothers, but not as much as he loves reminding you that they're gay homos who take it up the butt. With each other. LOL! Popular video game characters depicted as sexual deviants? That's totally fresh, edgy and in my face, man! I feel like I'm on Newgrounds circa 1998!
By now you might have noticed that a lot of the "jokes" linked involve gay sex or penis jokes somehow. But don't get the idea that Steve is "that way"! No way, he's a classy gent who knows a thing or two about ladies. Specifically, he knows that bitches ain't nuthin' but tits and ass. NOTHING. For reference, here's artwork of the main character from "Beyond Good and Evil", and here's how Mr. "leans-to-the-left, leans-to-the-right, grins in the last panel" draws her. Apparently, everything is better with more garbonzas.
There are almost no instances of women being featured in this misogynistic shitpile of a comic where they're not depicted as sex toys, eye candy, bitchy idiots or vapid sluts. The eye candy one is by far the most common: like a preteen who's balls have just dropped, Stevie loves to draw ladies' curvy parts, which is too bad since he sucks at it. Check out the quarterback shoulders, impossibly flat ass and spherical nipple on that redhead! Boy howdy, it's all I can do not to jizz all over my designer pants!
I know I've made you click a ton of links to that horrible comic by now, and I'm really sorry about it, but mere words can't convey how truly hideous and smug this damn thing is. I mean, he takes shots at other gaming comics like he's an authority on the subject or some shit. He drew his 11-year-old-looking main character having sex with a faceless woman (the woman is not important, you see, she's just the vehicle to receive his holy man-seed). He's borderline racist. He's a drooling fanboy. He's a smug asshole. His few comics that don't rely on tits, fanboyism, gay jokes or just bashing some random big company are trite and unfunny. I read through the whole archives without even smiling once, and I'm a pretty easily-amused guy. But then, we're talking about a guy who proudly compares himself to VG Cats, so comedy isn't really an option. Just stop making this comic, Steverino. Or at least just drop the flimsy censorship bars and make it a cheap porn comic. You've already got the market on deformed, balloon-titted women covered.
As a final laugh, here's a pin-up of Samus Aran he did. The proportions on it are laughably bad, and say more about his lack of talent and failure to grasp anatomy than I ever could. Look; she's supposed to have her hand on her hip, but since she doesn't fucking have any, she appears to be grabbing her cooch. Now THAT's entertainment!
158 comments:
- Why, why must this comment assault be repeated?
- Looks like you got the attention of 4chan, John.
- This review isn't even by me.
- Bet dollars against rupees that in the next 50 comments, most people won't notice the 'posted by MIKE SAUL' bit.
- Um, I don't get the pseudonyms. Is the David, Saul, Solomon Hebrew Kings thing supposed to throw off the DA acolytes, or are you giving them some new stuff to play with? Anyway, DA is pretty terrible, and I can't believe you read through the entire archive of that thing.
- I knew from the start that it wasn't John, he's got like 3 blatant spalling and wording errors in the first paragraph. John's way smarter than that. (or just tired and hung over if it IS him)
- Steve Napierski has another webcomic, The Outer Circle. It's even worse than DA. The writing is horrible, the art is more generic, and the copy-paste is more blatant.
- the meteroid pin up was laffo
- What's it with webcomics and undersexed, mysogynistic, immature, smug jerks? It's like they go hand-in-hand.
- I knew from the start that it wasn't John, he's got like 3 blatant spalling and wording errors in the first paragraph. John's way smarter than that. Yo, "peoples" isn't a spelling error, you retard.
- Steve Napierski has another webcomic, The Outer Circle. Sweet christ. I'd seen this horrible abortion of a strip, but I didn't check the name of the author. Every sin DA has is magnified in that atrocity. I especially like the cast page. Author! Straight sarcastic man! Fat guy! Girl! What a cast.
- Yo, "peoples" isn't a spelling error, you retard. Let them wallow in their ignorance.
- Um, I don't get the pseudonyms. Is the David, Saul, Solomon Hebrew Kings thing supposed to throw off the DA acolytes, or are you giving them some new stuff to play with? Get with the program, sheesh. Themed pseudonyms! It's all the rage these days.
- Jesus CHRIST that is horrible. I wish I hadn't clicked those links. What really saddens me is that a classy comic like Dresden Codak is advertised on that shithole.
- Glad to see someone on the blog finally getting around to this shitpiece. Every time he uses that grin in the last panel, I want to physically rip the image off my monitor.
- Completely irrelevant, but CAD seems to be down. Can we hope?
- I bet this guy might be better at drawing women if he'd actually seen a naked one before. Somehow I doubt that'll ever happen though.
- Off-topic stupidity: man, Wikipedia is anal. "Oh no, an article about a comic book supervillain who wears an albino gorilla skin is in the past tense! How will people be able to tell it is fictional!"
- The way John Soloman and this Mike guy fume and seethe anytime someone draws a woman suggestively proves that they are gay. They hate the sexuality of women. John and Mike are gay for each other! LMAO
- Oh god, doesn't this just say it all about Steve-o? His depiction of himself: Witty, trim and suave Actually him: Tubby loser
- I wouldn't call him tubby, B. He's not a big fat guy. What he is, however, is a narcissistic (sp?), untalented, unfunny piece of dog shit. He's that smug Mac asshole that everyone hates. I think with all of Saul's links we read the entire archive and I might have cracked a smile once.
- Hey John, awesome blog. Two comics that are almost too easy to make fun of- http://fanboys-online.com/ This one was a shitty "humor" comic (Bill Hicks is rolling in his grave), until it became a shitty, humorless drama comic, complete with 10-page story arcs involving romantic tension at the beach and our heroes reaction to a blackout a blackout. http://www.awkwardzombie.com/ This one is written and drawn by a 16-year-old girl, but surprisingly doesn't suck for the reasons you would think. It's still a god awful waste of bandwidth.
- @John and Mike are GAY: I'm sure they wouldn't mind half as much if the cheesecake was drawn by someone competent. Even then, it's still misogynistic for this guy to continually draw women as nothing more than objects of lust... The one where his skinny author-ego is actually in the process of fucking some faceless woman up the ass is the worst, I think. She is literally nothing more than a prop, no more important than the bed they're doing it on. But really, only homosexuals think like that! REAL men are big sweaty apes who let their dicks do the thinking for them and get off on anything with a pair of tits, no matter how misshapen or badly drawn those tits happen to be! Yeah, smell the testosterone!
- No, I'd still call him tubby. Especially compared to how he sees/draws himself.
- I'm glad you picked up on the misogyny - that was the thing that bugged me the most when I looked over that comic.
- Oh, this just gets better and better. Steve posted this in his forums regarding the review, "I'd probably be upset if this was from someone I actually knew or if they hadn't bashed Dominic Deegan and VG Cats" Wow. That's a horrible defense. For all kinds of reasons.
- Actually the creator thinks he looks like this: http://www.duelinganalogs.com/?date=2007-07-20
- What the fuck is a Mike Saul ?
- As a final laugh, here's a pin-up of Samus Aran he did. The proportions on it are laughably bad, and say more about his lack of talent and failure to grasp anatomy than I ever could. Look; she's supposed to have her hand on her hip, but since she doesn't fucking have any, she appears to be grabbing her cooch. Now THAT's entertainment! Shit, do you fucking even know the different between a cartoon and a life drawing ?
- Shit, do you fucking even know the different between a cartoon and a life drawing ? I do, but what you and oh so many drooling retards don't understand is that you can't draw a proper cartoon before you know how to make an at least passable life drawing. If you were to look at the personal sketchbooks of the great cartoonists of our eras, I'm sure you'd find many drawings that *gasp* aren't cartoons! Cartooning is about bending the rules of anatomy. With Dueling Analogs, he's not bending them, he simply doesn't understand them. You can't bend rules you never learned or followed. No stylistic choice absolves you from being held to artistic standards, much to many anime-copiers' dismay.
- Steve posted this in his forums regarding the review, "I'd probably be upset if this was from someone I actually knew or if they hadn't bashed Dominic Deegan and VG Cats" Wow. That's a horrible defense. For all kinds of reasons. It's not surprising, is it, that a guy with such a dismal view of women (i.e. thinking it's funny to randomly zap a woman's clothes off) would like a comic featuring a woman who falls in love with her rapist.
- I just want you guys to know I accidentally read this once. http://www.pressstartcomic.com/view.php?comic=2007-04-05 Do you think he knows what a GB Player is? I don't.
- Cartooning is about bending the rules of anatomy. With Dueling Analogs, he's not bending them, he simply doesn't understand them. You can't bend rules you never learned or followed. No stylistic choice absolves you from being held to artistic standards, much to many anime-copiers' dismay. You seem to be deducing this artist's skill level from one draw. I didn't see an actually gallery on his site so what are you basing this criticism on. You have no idea what he is truly is capable of.
- You seem to be deducing this artist's skill level from one draw. I didn't see an actually gallery on his site so what are you basing this criticism on. You have no idea what he is truly is capable of. I'm "deducing" his skill level from the entire body of his online work, all of which is poorly drawn. That one just happens to be particularly shitty. If he has a gallery somewhere with actual good drawings, I urge him to bring that untapped ability over to his webcomic. I mean, are you suggesting I never criticise the artwork in any comic because the artist might be saving a secret drawing technique for the final round? If he truly can draw better, my criticisms only become MORE valid. If he can do better, why doesn't he? Could it be because he's a lazy hack?!? Deduce that!
- You seem to be deducing this artist's skill level from one draw. I didn't see an actually gallery on his site so what are you basing this criticism on. You have no idea what he is truly is capable of. Prove it, Steve. I'm calling you out.
- Cartooning is about bending the rules of anatomy. With Dueling Analogs, he's not bending them, he simply doesn't understand them. You can't bend rules you never learned or followed. No stylistic choice absolves you from being held to artistic standards, much to many anime-copiers' dismay. Oh Jesus fuck I wish more people knew this rather than just spouting off that "But it's my art style!" bullshit. If he could draw properly he'd know how to draw Samus with her hand on her hip, not her crotch. Style my ass.
- GASP! Is it time for bingo already?
- Damn, I was gonna weigh in on the whole "but it's a style!!" issue (because that shit pisses me off like nothing), but it's already been done as well as I could do it. I'm just going to have to say "ditto" on everything Mike Saul said. Damn me for being late to the party. Damn it. (By the way, when clicking on the Samus Aran pic, I got the gigantic and hideous Sore Thumbs cheesecake ad. Coincidence...?)
- Is it wrong for me to be getting a kick out of your comments? Because I am really enjoying this...
- You seem to be deducing this artist's skill level from one draw. I didn't see an actually gallery on his site so what are you basing this criticism on. You have no idea what he is truly is capable of. Am I the only one who takes that last line as a threat? Fear him, for he can create art that will shatter your mind and rend your soul to tatters!
- Awesome, I was waiting for the YWIBAYSFB verdict on this. Pity you forgot to mention the fact that everyone seems to have a broken neck, but seeing I never even noticed the "leans left, leans right, grins" thing before I read this, I have no right to complain. Laughed out loud when I finally picked up on that, by the way.
- Is it wrong for me to be getting a kick out of your comments? Because I am really enjoying this... If it's wrong to enjoy humanity's stupidest members displaying that fact for all to see, then I don't wanna be right. Saul, you are fucking awesome for some of the retarded responses this entry has incited. I mean, shit, we're gay because we don't demean women as sex objects? And we should tremble in fear of the artist's mighty powers? Fucking hilarious.
- I keep picturing Steve showing up at my door with a paintbrush and a grin, complete with ominous music playing and a thunderstorm raging in the background. "You have NO idea what I'm capable of, Mr. Saul" And I think (dear) Richard is a friend or fan of Steve's, judging by his profile, and he's either joining us in laughing at him, or being amused by our silly little comments on our silly little blog, since we're just jealous. Voting for number 2.
- Mike Saul said: I keep picturing Steve showing up at my door with a paintbrush and a grin, complete with ominous music playing and a thunderstorm raging in the background. "You have NO idea what I'm capable of, Mr. Saul" And I think (dear) Richard is a friend or fan of Steve's, judging by his profile, and he's either joining us in laughing at him, or being amused by our silly little comments on our silly little blog, since we're just jealous. Oddly enough, on that first part, that does sound like Steve. Or at least his sense of humor. As for the second part... BUSTED. Yes I am a friend of his. In fact I am the Richard from "the outer circle" (though admittedly my hair does not look like that...). And no I don't think you guys are jealous. But I am enjoying hw much you hate his comic. Especially since mine deserves to be on this site a heck of a lot more than his :op
- How the fuck can someone who makes a video game comic that he admits he ripped off from VG Cats call MMO players nerds? That's like Eric Bauman calling someone a plagiarist.
- How the fuck can someone who makes a video game comic that he admits he ripped off from VG Cats call MMO players nerds? Even I got that was a joke. That's like bitching there's no dueling or analogs in the comic. Quit grasping.
- This still doesn't present it from being a crass, self-important, misogynistic, UNFUNNY piece of pure shite, however. Go JohN!
- Ken Shinn said... This still doesn't present it from being a crass, self-important, misogynistic, UNFUNNY piece of pure shite, however. Go JohN! Ken, is this shite yours? http://www.nsfg.cwc.net/krupke1.html
- Yup - guilty as charged. But then, I never meant to make donations off of gullible cretins with it. Or aggrandise myself. Or act like a boorish arsehole. It was always intended as a space-filler for a small-run free fanzine. The art did get a little better as time went by. The scripting certainly improved. It's still not any sort of work of genius: but it still pisses effortlessly over Duelling Analogs. Or Dominic Deegan, come to that. Or any of the other strips already covered here. Heh. "A bit better than things that are truly fucking shit". How's that for an endorsement?
- Oddly enough, on that first part, that does sound like Steve. Or at least his sense of humor. As for the second part... BUSTED. Yes I am a friend of his. Yeah, it's really, really obvious that you're his friend. Forum sycophants don't kiss that much ass. Not even Robert A. Howard kisses that much ass. Why not be a real friend and tell him his shit sucks?
- Oh shit! DA was just raped verbally be Mike Saul. in b4 dramastorm
- http://www.duelinganalogs.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=771 HE HAS A KID HE HAS ACTUALLY HAD SEX WITH A REAL LIVE WOMAN WHAT FUCKERY IS THIS
- Fucked up the link from above. Behold.
- Why not be a real friend and tell him his shit sucks? And deny him all this fun? :op
- If cartooning is based on true anatomy or "just bending the rules" then Mickey Mouse is one fucked up character. He doesn't resemble a rat's anatomy by any stretch of the imagination. Neither does Jerry...or Speedy for that matter.
- Comparing Walt Disney or Hanna and Barbara with this guy? Try harder.
- I see you fixed that copy paste error in paragraph two Mike. Anonymous said..."3 blatant spalling. errors..." I hope to god that was intentional, cause i actually laughed at it.
- Of all the comics you've featured here, this is the first one that's actually made me angry. Sure, it's badly drawn and funny as cancer, just like the rest of the shit that's been reviewed here, but there's something about the author's wholly unwarranted "I am so much better than you" attitude that makes me want to break his fingers and shove his Wacom sideways up his ying-yang. And of course it wouldn't be a genuinely shitty gaming comic without the rampant misogyny, which is rendered especially witless and vile here. This comic will never improve until Napierski undergoes a full personality transplant, and punching him in the balls a few thousand times would probably be a good idea too.
- Mickey Mouse is one fucked up character. He doesn't resemble a rat's anatomy by any stretch of the imagination. Neither does Jerry...or Speedy for that matter. he's not a rat, he's a mouse. that's why he's called Mickey mouse, fuckbeans.
- The link in your review to "Video games I'm glad were never made" linked to the second in the "Rejected Megaman villains" joke series or whatever you want to call it. Here's the link to his first "Video games I'm glad were never made": http://www.duelinganalogs.com/?date=2006-01-05
- And oh, GOD, the old "Mac users aren't nerds and we have lots of sex no really we do and PC Lusers are ugly and never have lots of sex like we do all the time with women in their vaginas" shtick. YOU are the ones making the rest of us look bad. Knock it the fuck off already.
- ...makes me want to break his fingers and shove his Wacom sideways up his ying-yang. Actually, it's my Wacom that he's uses every now and then. I will expect a replacement...
- When I read this comic, it was so awful that I was sure it couldn't possibly have any fans. I hate the universe right now.
- Oh, don't be so goddamn pleased with yourself for contributing to this abortion, "Rich."
- Also, the fact that he uses ripped-off iPod imagery when the 'joke' has fuck-all to do with iPods just cracks me up. Unoriginal AND retarded... take a fucking bow you talentless moron.
- Also, the fact that he uses ripped-off iPod imagery when the 'joke' has fuck-all to do with iPods just cracks me up. Unoriginal AND retarded... take a fucking bow you talentless moron. I'll take that bow for him. After all, that's me in that particular comic...
- You seem to think this is something to be proud of, when it's basically admitting in public that you love the smell of your own shit.
- Thanks for the HTML heads up, anonymous. I haven't done any coding in a long long time and I had to retouch the links a few times before putting this up, I must have gotten my urls mixed up in the process. Zee, I'm sorry that this comic is the one to break you, but I'm impressed you withstood all the other horrible comics featured here without flinching. This shitstain's smugness really does put him over the top, as does his woman-hating. Incidentally, are you Zee is Zae, or a different Zee?
- Oh and Rich, please stop with the "taking it in stride" thing. You're like the creepy uncle trying to joke about the fact that he was caught with his pants down while babysitting his toddler niece. Nobody's laughing, and you're just making us despise you more.
- Mike only gets off on this if people are mad.
- Regarding that dead Aeris strip (under "sex toys"), I can't believe I was even surprised that Napierski couldn't appreciate delicious flat chests. Of course, an ape like him could never grasp a concept such as the beauty of diversity. This guy seriously needs to spend more time appreciating women, and less time appreciating JPEGs.
- Regular Zee here, Mike. As in EZ, because god knows I'm nothing if not that. And EZ or no, I'm not the sort to suck shit through a straw and then proclaim that it tastes like candy. Guess that puts me outside the target audience for nearly every webcomic ever made.
- Oh and Rich, please stop with the "taking it in stride" thing. You're like the creepy uncle trying to joke about the fact that he was caught with his pants down while babysitting his toddler niece. Nobody's laughing, and you're just making us despise you more. Well taking it in stride is all we can do. I mean at the end of the day your opinion is just that. DA will continue on, and so will you. Steve's not gonna get all bent out of shape over it. Yeah you've increaed the unique hits for DA a little bit today and we've had some fun together. You guys have enjoyed name-calling Steve, I've enjoyed commenting on this column. So at the end of the day everybody is happy. We've all had fun.
- Is constantly being punched in the face annoying, Rich? Or do you stop feeling it after a while? I figured you'd be the one to ask, what with that personality. Sweardagawd, you could give smarm lessons to William fucking Shatner, and it's neither cute nor endearing. Tell your good friend the artist that a number of those unique hits were mine, his comic is the worst thing I've ever seen, and I hope he drops dead. Bye now!
- So was this blog created by fail webcomic artists that attempted to create comics that didn't even hold up to the "shit" they whine about here, or what? I can see bitching about celebrities, actors, popular products...satire of popular things, things undeserving of their popularity...but webcomics? They're already obscure...you aren't taking away undeserved praise, you're just being asses. Someone pays for a site, spends hours of their time so maybe 200 people on average will read their site, then be forgotten after all their hard work...and you make fun of them? For what, having the half sense of humor and artistic talent you clearly lack? This is like making a "Stop mom-and-pop stores" protest right next to a Walmart. I know you're just trolling asshats that like nothing more than to piss off people that you'll never meet, and therefore can't give you your comeuppance, but I'm sure even a quarter-assed troll blogger like yourself can find a bigger, more deserving audience. We have a saying on Fark. And that saying is FAIL. /Though you guys (assuming you just aren't using a pseudonym) deserve a good helping of UFIA.
- BINGO!
- Hahahaha, holy fucking shit, it's fucking retarded comment of the Goddamn century. Next time, though, you should put "I'm from Fark" at the top of your comment so people know to skip it.
- Impressive; I know how to bait a troll, don't I? I go get the laundry and it's frothing at the mouth. Liquid fun. I retract the "quarter-assed troll" comment. Trolling the comments on your own trolling posts is impressive. It requires a lot of ass to come up with this level of shit. I love how people on the internets respond to a long, serious, thought out comment with something like "Lol, ur a ___" *Ad hominim goes there.* Like a fark in the night, I'm outta here. Fark's dulled my ability to deal with critical levels of idiocy and trolling. /What's your Fark account?
- Fark fark fark, troll troll troll. That's some weak rhymes you have there. Not phat at all. Seriously, you're calling us trolls, even though you're the one who comes here, to our blog, to insult us? I'm not even sure you know what the term means. Please keep posting, though, I need some good comedy to cheer me up after sludging through DA.
- You don't think webcomics get undeserved praise, boring troll? Go read the comments of the Dominic Deegan and Unicorn Jelly entries, if you can stand it.
- So close! http://img385.imageshack.us/img385/7945/bingozf6.jpg
- Someone pays for a site, spends hours of their time so maybe 200 people on average will read their site, then be forgotten after all their hard work...and you make fun of them? For what, having the half sense of humor and artistic talent you clearly lack? This is like making a "Stop mom-and-pop stores" protest right next to a Walmart. Wow. Soooo... according to this statement, no one should every criticize anybody? And Walmart is a good guy? Ummm... good to know.
- That last picture you linked to Mr. Saul is that… Camel toe? Oh dear God it is. Truth be told, my personal beef with Mr. Napierski isn’t his writing ability or artistic skill, they can always get better, I’m not sure if they ever will, but they could. Instead it’s with the fact that he “copy and pastes,” which is my bane with many of the strips on the World Wide Web. Hell, I enjoy the stick men comics of the world more and I believe that’s saying something. I mean, think about it they, these “pasters,” draw something about how many times? Once? And they get praised? Good God. So they “make” a comic every day. It doesn’t mean deserve any praise, because it’s the same damn thing they did yesterday.
- Saul, thank you for bringing about this fucking awesome turn of events.
- That comic is okay. Not great, not awful, but okay. Not nearly as bad as the ones John reviewed. Sorry Mike, this one shouldn't even show up on the sucky webcomics radar. If it does, you're either not reading very many of them or maybe you're just digusted and blocking out the worst ones. No big deal, Transgendered Manga Furries will do that to you.
- The fact that you think it's okay is why I had to do this.
- The comic where he's supposedly fucking that girl looks like he's humping a pillow. Like he just saw porn for the first time. If you're going to put in women solely as eye-candy or shit like that, you should at least know how to draw tits correctly.
- everything that was said in the review is spot on. well done; that comic sucks shit through a crazy-straw.
- This post has been removed by the author.
- Need to excrete one last bit of bile, lest any remain and send me into septic shock: Some bad webcomics make me think "this artist has no talent." Some make me think "this artist has no talent and is kind of a strange and unpleasant person to boot." DA is the first one that's ever made me think "this artist is sociopathic human scum who needs to be removed from the gene pool before he can pass his vile tendencies on to a new generation." I am dead serious when I say this is the worst fucking webcomic I have EVER seen, or ever hope to see again. You guys are going to have your work cut out for you trying to top this gem. And Napierski, you win at the fail.
- Intentional or not, this appears to be sociopathy week on YWiBaYSFB. First the mouthpiece of Weird Comix doing in everyone he hates with rattlesnakes, axes and eye gouging. And now the mouthpiece of Dueling Analogs getting off on disintegrating random women's clothing. Who knows what other certifiable textbook cases John, Mike or Ted will dig up? Is there something about today's sociopaths that drives them to create webcomics? (Better than killing or sexually assaulting real-life people, I suppose, though that's no excuse.)
- Hahahahah FARK guy! FAIL! LOL! I was Loling all over! FAIL! AHAHAHAHA
- And regarding today's Questionable Content: Shut up. For the love of GOD, just shut up.
- Looking at the fairly atrocious Samus picture, you can get the idea that it more or less sums up what's wrong with the comic almost as well as the review of it does. It's hard to pick out what stands out worst about it when you've got so much to choose from (the torso, the hand on the 'hip', the upper body looking almost like a suit of armour was forced under the skin-tight gear), but I figure it's probably the face that looks like it belongs on a cartoon depiction of a child. The puffy cheeks, the big eyes and all other facial features being tiny and undefined. If someone is going to make a 'pin-up' or as it seems here some form of trite sexual statement that you could find on the back of a crappy t-shirt (next to one involving squirrels and nuts ho ho ho) the least the artist should do is draw something that looks remotely consistent with message. "Guys like girls who bring their own protection" really should have been "This artist likes girls with downs".
- Solomon, you want shit? Well I've got shit for you: http://thebloodomen.com/ivan_henley/galactic_drifter/index.html "Welcome to Galactic Drifter, a comic strip about a group of furry intergalactic misfits who just want their band to be successful. This site is updated every five days (usually). Please check back every now and then, and have fun!"
- I love reading people say "Well what else can we do but take this in stride?" For one thing you could maybe take heed of some of the advice contained therein. It's hard to find through all the (deserved) venom, but it's still there. Things like "stop being such a misogynist asshole" spring to mind. Or maybe putting your "talents" to better use and not making something so trite and repetitive.
- I just noticed... What the fuck is with his fetish of sticking Sonic in people's asses? Constantly references and draws it. It's fucking creepy.
- It's called gerbilling and it's just the kind of homophobic urban myth that Napierski would get a boner about. After all, between that and all the gay jokes about gays and their gayness gaying it up all over the gay, I can't help but think that he's a self-loathing closet case. Or some fourteen year old who plays too much Halo.
- I prefer your first theory, though most of the gay homosexuals I know would be mortified at the thought of treating women in the manner that Napierski does.
- "Or some fourteen year old who plays too much Halo." I thought he hated Microsoft.
- I prefer your first theory, though most of the gay homosexuals I know would be mortified at the thought of treating women in the manner that Napierski does. He loathes them because they remind him of what he is! Or something like that, I never did Psychology.
- That truly was a comic that has no redeeming features.
- That would mean he has gender identity issues. He just looks like his mommy beat his ass and this is revenge of some sort. Or that he has been spured a bit to many times by the opposite sex because they think he is gay. There are just to many scenarios that could have caused it. In the end, he should just get out of webcomics and go to a therapist. Also, I'm gay and I objectify women but I'm also a 4channer. It's a second nature.
- Closeted homosexuals are typically the most homophobic kind of assholes and always talk about how much they love fucking women, and are generally unpleasant to be around. Seems like Stevie fits the bill pretty darn well.
- I think "spurned a few too many times by the opposite sex" is the most likely answer (and is probably true of webcomics creators in general), so his flopdicked response is to act out his seething hatred of Those Bitches in his shitty comic. At least have the courtesy to leave that crap on your hard drive where the rest of us don't have to see it.
- Someone earlier linked to a MB post that suggested he had a daughter (and therefore a wife). Not that that really changes anything; I've met plenty of self-hating and misogynist women before who just reinforce that kind of behavior. ("But it's really not sexist! I have a girlfriend, and she says it's funny...!") "Guys like girls who bring their own protection" really should have been "This artist likes girls with downs". Totally hilarious. My personal favorite things about the picture: her total lack of a neck, and the way that her breasts are at 3/4 view despite her shoulders being a straight-on view. It's like... Picasso-booty, right there. Zee, I'm sorry to see that this is the comic that breaks you. Stay good, man.
- Tell me why I suck! boxbrown.com
- I starting to think John Solomon, Mike Saul and Ted David are all the same people with multiple Blogger accounts ... either that or there's a whole lotta butt sex going on right now.
- Sigh. John, it may be time to add a "You Guys Are Gay" square to that Bingo card. Leaving aside the homophobia for a moment, it seems a growing number of idiots here think that "you're gay" is a sound refutation of your arguments.
- I starting to think John Solomon, Mike Saul and Ted David are all the same people with multiple Blogger accounts... I don't know about that but I did notice that they are all names from the bible. Maybe that's why he's so offended by this comic. Probably reads Chick Tracts for fun.
- Maybe that's why he's so offended by this comic. Probably reads Chick Tracts for fun. Okay, that has to be the most idiotic comment yet on this thread. Think for a moment, if your brain is up to it. Would people who actually took Chick Tracts seriously (i.e. were fundamentalist Christians) swear so much in their posts?
- If they have accepted Jesus Christ as their Lord and Saviour then their sins have been paid in full! You really need to use a heavy southern accent when reading that, just doesn't seem to sound right any other way...
- The trolls never seem to get tired of Teh Gay Buttsecks thing, do they? As if the hundredth lame repetition might be the one that will actually somehow hurt the authors' feelings and cause them to quit in shame. Hey, anonymeeses: It's called "projection." Look it up.
- http://godmodeonline.com/ this is worse than dueling analogs and vg cats combined.
- COME ON SOLOFOO' WHERE'S OUR MEGATOKYO ARTICLE?
- The trolls never seem to get tired of Teh Gay Buttsecks thing, do they? As if the hundredth lame repetition might be the one that will actually somehow hurt the authors' feelings and cause them to quit in shame. Hard to get tired of the truth...they alternate mounting each other...
- COME ON SOLOFOO' WHERE'S OUR MEGATOKYO ARTICLE? Well, it ain't gonna happen now you've started being a dick about it, so everyone who was patiently and quietly waiting can just go ahead and blame you for that.
- That Barakku guy at 07 September 2007 01:33 gave me like three bingos! I have to chug three beers now, thanks man!
- Hard to get tired of the truth...they alternate mounting each other... Oh, my sides! You, sir, are a master wit! Ain't nothin gets past you, boyee! However, I will cut short my adulation of your singular magnificence so you can get back to your busy schedule of chugging cocks. Say hi to Senator Craig for me!
- Great, now I have to kill everyone who was ever named anonymous. Because John Solomon said I have to blame you.
- About the gerbilling strips... Why on Earth would he think it's called "felching"? What the hell does he think felching is called, then? I wonder if he even knows what it is...
- Quick guide to stab your eyes out: 1. http://luckythrow.smackjeeves.com/ 2. By now you can't read this anymore
- I'm pretty late to the party but I feel that this topic must be addressed yet again, because retards will always run to defend a shitty "style". I'm an art student, I'm working my ass off so one day I can work in an animation studio or game company doing the thing that I love. Some weeks I have to do up to seventy five hours of home-work. Illustration, animation, and painting. Want to know the first thing they taught us? How to draw from life. Why? Because you can't (web) cartoon well without having some basis in reality for your characters. Reality is your base, a good style should reflect reality but have shades of your own personality within it. Everything should be technically correct, but emphasized or deemphasized differently depending on what the artist views as important. Shitty anatomy can always be differentiated from a "style". They don't know subtlety because they are flying blind. None of these terrible web-comic artists have gone out and practiced drawing from life, they just wing it. They don't really give a shit about what they are drawing, and that's what infuriates me the most. For me and many other artists who wish to pursue art as a career, art is a passion. We work late into the evening on our schooling because this is what we love to do. These asshats don't really care about improving at all. The only time they improve is when they stumble into it. For shitty-yet-popular web comic artists out there art is a vehicle for money, attention, and fans. It is nothing more, so it will never get better. If you try to critique it they will only scoff. Mediocre is good enough, and that's terrible.
- If cartooning is based on true anatomy or "just bending the rules" then Mickey Mouse is one fucked up character. He doesn't resemble a rat's anatomy by any stretch of the imagination. Neither does Jerry...or Speedy for that matter. This is a popular, albiet retarded argument. Mickey shares few anatomical traits with mice, but he is drawn and animated with an anatomy of his own. He clearly has bones with clear lengths and pivots, and a muscle structure supporting them. As has been said innumerable times on this blog already, one may only distort their subject once they understand it. The animators as Disney know their shit, and are able to create a believable and consistent character from an unreal template.
- Damn, aldatze, right on! (And a similar "right on" to the subsequent anonymous.)
- Following up on the anonymous who posted about Galactic Drifters: http://thebloodomen.com/ivan_henley/galactic_drifter/09_02_07.html Anyone who just took a look at the front page and intelligently clicked that little X button, without checking the previous comic -- oh, they missed a treat.
- Wow. What a shitload of fail that was. Do you seriously get off on bringing people down? I mean, here's a person who likes to draw in his spare time, and wants to share it with the world, he's not forcing you to look at his work, and he's not forcing you to accept his brand of humor. In your review, you mentioned how he drew the female game characters with larger "assets" or whatever, but I fail to see the difference in the game cover to Dueling Analogs's art. Hell, female game characters are overboobed as it is, so pointing out that fact isn't really doing much. Seriously, it's inconsiderate jerkoffs like you that make me wanna pull out the ol' 12-gauge again.
- Putting aside the fact that this idiot is published in print, his comic generates revenue for him in the form of ads and merchadise sales, so no, he's not just drawing this in his spare time: it's his source of income. When I clicked on his website, I became his customer, and that means I get to criticize the quality of the product I received. And it was horrible. The fact that you think giving constructive criticism to someone who happens to be making a terrible comic deserves getting a facefull of lead makes me really sad for you, internet tough guy. Not as sad as I am about your inability to tell good art from bad, though! You seriously can't tell the difference between Ubisoft's official artwork and this chump's attempts at rendering the character? Tell me, do you often confuse your relatives and objects like desks and lamps? Do you find yourself in animated conversation with cupboards?
- LOOK OUT MAN HE'S MENTIONED USING A TYPE OF GUN AND HE'LL MENTION USING IT AGAIN IF YOU'RE NOT CAREFUL
- Those who can, do. Those who cannot, critique.
- L-O-fuckin'-L.
- Hrm. speaking of lazy and uninspired, one finds it difficult to take this seriously (although, i didn't to begin with, therefore allowing me quite a few laughs at your expense) when the majority of your links, actually contradict you. Yes, you quote the comic correctly, however had you not been so lazy and had proceeded to read what is said underneath almost all off your links, then you would see that you've just made a fool of yourself, because Steve points out the same thing you do. in fact, when you claim he is 'taking shots at other comics' the links you provide show him using other comics in jokes. Yet what is written underneath shows he is actually posting that as a compliment to their work, and how much he respects those comics. I respect your right to complain (as, in reality, that's all this blog is) about a webcomic, or just something you don't find funny in general, however would much prefer that you actually think about and/or research what it is you are complaining about first. You try to pass off the image by throwing a whole lot of links at us, and yet, at the same time this shows you haven't really looked at them, perhaps this is why you "didn't even smile" whilst going through the archives. Next time you do one of these mikey boy, perhaps do a little more writing, and a little less complaining? or at least try not to contradict yourself so much by providing links that the artist explains is a joke, and use them as a serious argument. please?
- I'm curious - does anyone know how many people read the comic? I do. I enjoy it. It makes me laugh. It's enjoyable. My sentences are simple. Anywho, in all seriousness, I really do like this comic. I'm also pretty sure that I'm not alone, either, since if he only got one hit on his site per comic, he would have quit long ago. Regardless of how many people read it, though, he's paying to keep the website up, which means he can do whatever he wants with that site. Also - do you really think that this really changed anyone's mind? It seems like most people here commented about how they already didn't like the comic. I didn't see any that said "Holy crap, I completely missed all the points you made in your article when I used to read the comic. I'm never going to read it again because you are such an uber genius." ...yeah
- Yet what is written underneath shows he is actually posting that as a compliment to their work, and how much he respects those comics. This is what we in the business call lying.
- I notice that the last several comments defending DA (how anyone can is beyond me), and trashing this blog and its writers, came one after another. This leads me to suspect that someone--gee, who could it be?--told these fanboys to comment-bomb this blog. And people say that John, Ted, Mike and Ester are the "trolls?" What hypocrisy.
- Fanboys for shit as retarded as Dueling Analogs don't need anyone to give them bad ideas to enact upon. They pop into their vacant little heads all by themselves. Case in point, neither Terracciano or Campos told their fans to post a billion and one comments about how I'm a big meanie, but it still happened.
- you need to get a life, Ive been reading dueling analogs for about a year and its good! Not every thing can be perfect but theres always going to be some prick to point out the problems because thats all they have in there sad little life . they make a web comic what do you do that gives you the right to comment?
- That's a bingo!
- "they make a web comic what do you do that gives you the right to comment?" Now, as a Canadian I don't profess to be an expert on American rights, but I'm pretty sure that what you're saying there is covered by the first amendment.
- Here's how it works: If I don't have a webcomic, people say that means I have no right to talk about webcomics. If I do have a webcomic, people say that means I have no right to talk about webcomics, spam my webcomic in addition to this blog, start e-mailing me horse porn and generally be as big a bunch of fucking irritations as they can be. So if I do have a webcomic, there are absolutely no benefits to me revealing it.
- This is what we in the business call lying. It's comments like this, and the many more that you (and young mikey boy) have said that just seem to diminish this blog from an intellectual rant about webcomics, into a 'we just dont like the guys, so we're doing an immature bitch', type of thing. What makes it hard to accept that he respects other peoples work?
- The fact that he doesn't? I think the only work of other people he actually respects is CAD and VG Cats, creating some kind of shit webcomic trinity.
- I must say John, you're a very confusing person. In some of your posts, you seem like quite a respectable, decent person, making an intellectual argument. and in some, (ie. "you're an idiot" when someone disagreed with you) you make it look like you don't really disagree with the comic, just the people making them. I much prefer the intellectual side of you making founded arguments. at least try to stick to that, and so shall I, deal? The fact of the matter is, have you ever met him, spoken to him face to face, looked him in the eye and discussed this with him? because until then i find it difficult that you could make an argument of what he is like, based on what you 'think' (as you just stated, you 'think' he only respects.. etc etc). And as you've said before that it would be quite pointless for you to point out if you have a webcomic or not, personally i'd like to know. not to criticize or critique it, but because i enjoy webcomics for webcomics. nothing too serious. nothing too artsy, just a few visual jokes, sometimes with a deeper meaning, sometimes without. I too read through DA archives, and whilst not all made me laugh, quite a few made me smile, and a fair few made me chuckle, and i will admit, some of them made me outright laugh. I guess it just depends on the mood you're in when you read through them.
- holy jebus that was much longer then i expected it to be. my bad.
- (ie. "you're an idiot" when someone disagreed with you) I never shy away from a rational argument. The key word here is not "argument". Also congratulations for asking me a bunch of questions about the Dueling Analogs guy when I didn't write the review in the first place.
- Then why defend the review?
- Because I agree with it. The whole "oh no, don't say mean things about the guy" is stupid, anyway. If you talk about the Gor books with people who know and hate them, they'll undoubtedly call Norman/Lange a misogynistic piece of shit. Because, surprisingly, he was. People do this all the time with movie directors, actors - anyone who does something they find to be terrible. There's no difference. Even Joel Schumacher can read and respond to movie reviews calling him a hack for giving Batman bat-nipples. Doesn't stop it from happening.
- hahah, oh that's my bad, in regards to the calling people stupid for disagreeing, and actually a lot of my comments directed at you (where i haven't included mike as well) i was referring to other reviews (done by you) as well. Thought I had mentioned that, apparently with the rush i was in at the time i didn't, my apologies. And i Fully understand the whole 'saying bad things about the author' thing, however in some 'reviews' it kinda goes overboard, where it's more about the person then the comic. makes it look more like a personal vendetta. (and comentia.. even i thought it was pretty damned obvious why defend.. are you saying you wouldn't defend something either you agree with, or that was written/made by a friend of yours?) oh.. and also... he WAS a hack for giving him bat nipples... hahaha.
- if you think that webcomic is bad. you should see http://hamsterscity.com now that is bad.
- Golly! Steve Napierski has obviously had HUNDREDS of girlfriends!
- Those who can, do. Those who cannot, critique. There's a third category, into which the author of DA falls squarely: those who can't try to anyway.
- Dueling Analogs is nothing but a piece of shit.
- Oh god, Napierski's trying to con people out of their money for even more of his trash. http://www.duelinganalogs.com/?date=2007-09-30
- If anyone's still reading these, he put up a comic not too long ago that's pretty much a blowjob for Buckley. It's hilariously sad.
- Do you find yourself in animated conversation with cupboards? ...It happens sometimes, even to the best of us (actually, what with the idiot savant thing most genii have going on I should say especially the best of us.) And zee? Though I agree with your arguments, you're a real asshole who seems to hate not being insulted back at, and I really hope I meet you in real life sometime so I can see this hilarious spectacle. Mike Saul for the win. Why can't John have more wacky comments like this?
- Elders of Zion, why do you all rock so hard?
- "Those who can, do. Those who cannot, critique" And those that can't really do anything, make shit like Dual Analogue. (and Shredded Moose, though does that qualify as a webcomic or a online "hate" pamphlet?)
