Diary webcomics can be good. There, I said it. You don't have to have much of an interesting life, but you have to be able to make it interesting. Any kind of fiction that's not interesting isn't worth reading. Despite that, I have spent a lot of time reading Jamie Kingston's Kismetropolis. I regret ever having done so and now I'm taking it out on you.
I'm sure some of you remember that back when I reviewed El Goonish Shive, a job I now see I have left only half done, I mentioned one key thing: do not welcome people to your webcomic. Why not? Well, because it's stupid. No decent proportion of your readership will stumble upon your webcomic on day one. However, they will go to the first strip and then have to put up with not getting into the story or jokes right away, but putting up with some fourth-wall-breaking shit from a character they don't know going "LAWL HI YOU GUYZ". You can have a "New Reader?" page, you can have a first page that introduces the key concepts in character, but last I checked no other form of fiction does this. Detective Comics #27 was not entirely Bruce Wayne saying "Hi guys and welcome to Batman! There'll be lots of interesting stuff coming up next issue! I promise!" DC would have bombed within seconds, and that would mean that the comic book fans of today would not be able to read about such wonderful characters as Forerunneru-chan and the C-List Monitor Posse.
That may not be such a bad thing, actually. But you get my point: it's stupid, it's tacky and above all, Kismetropolis does it. Not once, but twice. When I got to the actual first page, it took me a moment to realise it had started. Not only because of the fucking filler where the story should be, but that the thing looks like a piece of fanart from a talentless fan that you stick up on the main page because you're a sap and think that if you don't they'll hate you forever. (They will, but you shouldn't care.) To start with, the font choice is pretty bad. It's one of those fonts which is designed for school posters that are made in Word. You know the ones, they mostly consist of clip art and word art and look nothing like a poster. The font is, basically, not for use in a fucking webcomic. That makes it all the more sad that the font choice is one of the better things about it.
Panels should be drawn, generally, with some kind of straight line involved. These panels look like the page started off pure black and the borders were hacked out with the eraser tool. Let's not forget the "artist" forgoing art to grab images from Google image search, greyscaling them and then making them dark as fuck because fuck working in colour. That rainbow shit is for queer fairy faggots! Or maybe people who aren't incompetent.
The first panel is possibly supposed to have stars, but it looks a little more like snow. Wait, no, I think it's supposed to be dots drawn with the spraypaint tool because Jamie Kingston hasn't a fucking clue what stars look like. Maybe this is some crazy alternate universe where the millions of stars in the galaxy have been replaced with a dozen big glowing gas clouds. That would explain why the next panel has an utterly black sky, we're seeing one of the gaps between clouds. Fuck, I'm so sick of looking at this strip that I'm not even going to bother pointing out the flaws in the other two panels. Do it yourself for once.
Strip two made me say "GOD, YES!" out loud, but not in the good way. Practice makes perfect, but drawing yourself out of "completely imperfect" would be a pretty rad start. Also, what's the deal with the lack of colour? It seems less like actual black-and-white art and more like these used to be in colour but got turned to greyscale for God knows what reason. It makes the thing look even more dull than it would be using good black-and-white stuff. Oh, wait, "good" - I forgot that Kingston is apparently somewhat terrible.
Strips three, four and five show us more bad font choice and haphazard art that's so black it went on the Million Man March. Five is especially telling of Kingston's laziness - fuck drawing such complicated things as "desks", I'll just silhouette my way to Easy Street! This kind of shit brings to mind terrible sprite webcomics on Geocities, it doesn't deserve its own domain name. The one saving grace is that it doesn't have the walls of text associated with such endeavours.
Still, remember what I said about having to make your life seem interesting? Kingston has decided to go the "Magic is REAL!" route that will somehow turn her humdrum life into a fascinating read! Only it doesn't work, because we get fucking chat logs. I'm not even sure what it says, because I just hit "next" the moment I saw it. As a reviewer I should try and read everything, and I usually do, but Goddamn if it isn't telling that someone just skips a whole page of your webcomic because it looks like shit. Because of the fucking glacial pace and lack of anything interesting happening, it didn't affect my understanding of the story, which is apparently NOTHING FUCKING HAPPENS.
Kingston, and you other fuckers who do this, you are not Brian Michael Bendis. You don't have the talent for even mediocre decompressed narrative shit. What you end up with is just a long and boring webcomic where nothing happens and I feel like giving up and just posting "It's shit" in lieu of actually reading it every fucking time I click "next".
I still can't get over how utterly amateur this thing looks. I mean, I thought that Hookie Dookie Panic! was bad, but even that Godawful heap is a damn sight better. Look in the first panel here, at that fucking speech bubble. What the fuck happened there, Kingston? Did you type out the text first and then keep missing it with the ellipse tool like a blind cowboy throwing a lasso? That mess is unreadable and looks like something my dog might throw up after a heavy night hitting the dog bars. Still, if you won't listen to me, listen to the utterly fantastic Your Webcomic Can Still Be Saved: "Don't treat your balloons as if they were shrink-wrap for the text. Don't carve your balloon into a jigsaw around the text, either." Failure on both counts.
There is a reason that people see webcomics as terrible amateur works done by idiots without any talent, and that's Kismetropolis. Not just Kismetropolis, of course, but fuck it: this shit is so Goddamn unprofessional in every respect that it's the patron saint of them all. So many fucking flaws, but the one I despise the most is the fact it's so fucking dark. It's like a goth in blackface in an underground coal cellar at midnight when even the very concept of light has ceased to be. What the fuck is happening in half the panels here? It's ridiculous that the only time there's any colour is during the fucking abysmal filler art, and then it's either dull as fuck or dark as fuck. It may be that the entire webcomic is black as some kind of tribute, but I suspect it's because Kingston has a broken monitor since holy fuck. Even when it's not super-dark, it's still fucking incomprehensible.
Although judging later strips, I think I preferred the incomprehensible shit. Thankfully it diverts into colour, although I don't know why. Maybe it discovered the magic of sex, like in Pleasantville. Judging by the amount of love-related whining (which is never fucking entertaining ever) in the webcomic, that's doubtful. Colour still doesn't save it from the shitty layout, however. Protip: if you need big red arrows to tell people where to look next, you've failed. Although the same could be applied to this webcomic's entire storyline - if there even is one, I may be faulty in assuming this is anything but random images and text as a kind of freestyle performance art. Kingston, try jamming in some big red arrows and footnotes so we can follow this shit. I know that's tacky and shouldn't be done in a webcomic, but you don't, so go for it.
Actually, she does do it. This strip has a note saying "Mysterious chick, first seen here." Except, if you remember, we couldn't see a fucking thing in that strip. Also way to play up the fact that we've had two strips about "mysterious chick" and have yet to find out what her name is, why she's turning up in a webcomic that's mostly about your shitty experiences doing tech support, and why the fuck am I still reading your fucking awful webcomic.
The answer to the last one is "because then I can point out all the flaws in it" by the way. Because damn if this isn't just a fucking terrible webcomic. It's not entertaining, it's not informative, it's not even fucking educational. It doesn't seem like you're improving your art or your writing by doing it, since both are still uniformly terrible. You've been at it since 2005, so for two years you haven't even learned how to put together something that's not terrible? Way to go! I'm sure someone's proud of you for not accomplishing a damn thing in two fucking years.
But all is illuminated. "I think Sluggy Freelance was the first webcomic I ever read," she says. "I thought: I can do that!"
Depressingly, no, you can't. Your webcomic is not even anywhere close to being on the same level as Sluggy fuckin' Freelance, which is pathetic on a level I can't begin to comprehend. Also you refer to "learning word balloons" as if now you know how - you don't. Even your idol, Pete Abrams, can make a semi-decent one, even if it is full of eight billion fucking words. Nice little addendum with "manners are not optional" though. I can practically taste your hopeless idealism, and oh it is ripe for the crushing. Let's look at it another way: my various impolite remarks are the logical response to the massive insult you have subjected me to by putting your shitty webcomic where I can read it. Kismetropolis is a massive "UP YOURS, YOU FUCKERS" from Jamie Kingston to the world at large, and as part of the world at large, I say "YEAH WELL FUCK YOU TOO, PAL" in my best Bronx accent.
If you still cling to the hopeless delusion that everything I said is somehow moot because I'm being a big meanie, then have this separate sentence in the blandest, most inoffensive terms: your webcomic is boring, confusing and uninteresting. Does that spell it out for you? Because Goddamn, it's true. Watching paint dry is not only vastly more entertaining than Kismetropolis, it's also more colourful and less full of stupid Internet clichés and your attempts to make your sad life roleplaying on some shitty MUD seem like anything but a pathetic stream of depressing misery. Since even I was wishing you'd go out and get a fucking life already, you've failed at that. You can start doing something with your pointless existence that would make your webcomic worth reading, or stop making it entirely. Either one of those would be nice, but if you try for the former then for God's sake learn how to fucking draw and learn how to fucking write.
I'm sure some of you remember that back when I reviewed El Goonish Shive, a job I now see I have left only half done, I mentioned one key thing: do not welcome people to your webcomic. Why not? Well, because it's stupid. No decent proportion of your readership will stumble upon your webcomic on day one. However, they will go to the first strip and then have to put up with not getting into the story or jokes right away, but putting up with some fourth-wall-breaking shit from a character they don't know going "LAWL HI YOU GUYZ". You can have a "New Reader?" page, you can have a first page that introduces the key concepts in character, but last I checked no other form of fiction does this. Detective Comics #27 was not entirely Bruce Wayne saying "Hi guys and welcome to Batman! There'll be lots of interesting stuff coming up next issue! I promise!" DC would have bombed within seconds, and that would mean that the comic book fans of today would not be able to read about such wonderful characters as Forerunneru-chan and the C-List Monitor Posse.
That may not be such a bad thing, actually. But you get my point: it's stupid, it's tacky and above all, Kismetropolis does it. Not once, but twice. When I got to the actual first page, it took me a moment to realise it had started. Not only because of the fucking filler where the story should be, but that the thing looks like a piece of fanart from a talentless fan that you stick up on the main page because you're a sap and think that if you don't they'll hate you forever. (They will, but you shouldn't care.) To start with, the font choice is pretty bad. It's one of those fonts which is designed for school posters that are made in Word. You know the ones, they mostly consist of clip art and word art and look nothing like a poster. The font is, basically, not for use in a fucking webcomic. That makes it all the more sad that the font choice is one of the better things about it.
Panels should be drawn, generally, with some kind of straight line involved. These panels look like the page started off pure black and the borders were hacked out with the eraser tool. Let's not forget the "artist" forgoing art to grab images from Google image search, greyscaling them and then making them dark as fuck because fuck working in colour. That rainbow shit is for queer fairy faggots! Or maybe people who aren't incompetent.
The first panel is possibly supposed to have stars, but it looks a little more like snow. Wait, no, I think it's supposed to be dots drawn with the spraypaint tool because Jamie Kingston hasn't a fucking clue what stars look like. Maybe this is some crazy alternate universe where the millions of stars in the galaxy have been replaced with a dozen big glowing gas clouds. That would explain why the next panel has an utterly black sky, we're seeing one of the gaps between clouds. Fuck, I'm so sick of looking at this strip that I'm not even going to bother pointing out the flaws in the other two panels. Do it yourself for once.
Strip two made me say "GOD, YES!" out loud, but not in the good way. Practice makes perfect, but drawing yourself out of "completely imperfect" would be a pretty rad start. Also, what's the deal with the lack of colour? It seems less like actual black-and-white art and more like these used to be in colour but got turned to greyscale for God knows what reason. It makes the thing look even more dull than it would be using good black-and-white stuff. Oh, wait, "good" - I forgot that Kingston is apparently somewhat terrible.
Strips three, four and five show us more bad font choice and haphazard art that's so black it went on the Million Man March. Five is especially telling of Kingston's laziness - fuck drawing such complicated things as "desks", I'll just silhouette my way to Easy Street! This kind of shit brings to mind terrible sprite webcomics on Geocities, it doesn't deserve its own domain name. The one saving grace is that it doesn't have the walls of text associated with such endeavours.
Still, remember what I said about having to make your life seem interesting? Kingston has decided to go the "Magic is REAL!" route that will somehow turn her humdrum life into a fascinating read! Only it doesn't work, because we get fucking chat logs. I'm not even sure what it says, because I just hit "next" the moment I saw it. As a reviewer I should try and read everything, and I usually do, but Goddamn if it isn't telling that someone just skips a whole page of your webcomic because it looks like shit. Because of the fucking glacial pace and lack of anything interesting happening, it didn't affect my understanding of the story, which is apparently NOTHING FUCKING HAPPENS.
Kingston, and you other fuckers who do this, you are not Brian Michael Bendis. You don't have the talent for even mediocre decompressed narrative shit. What you end up with is just a long and boring webcomic where nothing happens and I feel like giving up and just posting "It's shit" in lieu of actually reading it every fucking time I click "next".
I still can't get over how utterly amateur this thing looks. I mean, I thought that Hookie Dookie Panic! was bad, but even that Godawful heap is a damn sight better. Look in the first panel here, at that fucking speech bubble. What the fuck happened there, Kingston? Did you type out the text first and then keep missing it with the ellipse tool like a blind cowboy throwing a lasso? That mess is unreadable and looks like something my dog might throw up after a heavy night hitting the dog bars. Still, if you won't listen to me, listen to the utterly fantastic Your Webcomic Can Still Be Saved: "Don't treat your balloons as if they were shrink-wrap for the text. Don't carve your balloon into a jigsaw around the text, either." Failure on both counts.
There is a reason that people see webcomics as terrible amateur works done by idiots without any talent, and that's Kismetropolis. Not just Kismetropolis, of course, but fuck it: this shit is so Goddamn unprofessional in every respect that it's the patron saint of them all. So many fucking flaws, but the one I despise the most is the fact it's so fucking dark. It's like a goth in blackface in an underground coal cellar at midnight when even the very concept of light has ceased to be. What the fuck is happening in half the panels here? It's ridiculous that the only time there's any colour is during the fucking abysmal filler art, and then it's either dull as fuck or dark as fuck. It may be that the entire webcomic is black as some kind of tribute, but I suspect it's because Kingston has a broken monitor since holy fuck. Even when it's not super-dark, it's still fucking incomprehensible.
Although judging later strips, I think I preferred the incomprehensible shit. Thankfully it diverts into colour, although I don't know why. Maybe it discovered the magic of sex, like in Pleasantville. Judging by the amount of love-related whining (which is never fucking entertaining ever) in the webcomic, that's doubtful. Colour still doesn't save it from the shitty layout, however. Protip: if you need big red arrows to tell people where to look next, you've failed. Although the same could be applied to this webcomic's entire storyline - if there even is one, I may be faulty in assuming this is anything but random images and text as a kind of freestyle performance art. Kingston, try jamming in some big red arrows and footnotes so we can follow this shit. I know that's tacky and shouldn't be done in a webcomic, but you don't, so go for it.
Actually, she does do it. This strip has a note saying "Mysterious chick, first seen here." Except, if you remember, we couldn't see a fucking thing in that strip. Also way to play up the fact that we've had two strips about "mysterious chick" and have yet to find out what her name is, why she's turning up in a webcomic that's mostly about your shitty experiences doing tech support, and why the fuck am I still reading your fucking awful webcomic.
The answer to the last one is "because then I can point out all the flaws in it" by the way. Because damn if this isn't just a fucking terrible webcomic. It's not entertaining, it's not informative, it's not even fucking educational. It doesn't seem like you're improving your art or your writing by doing it, since both are still uniformly terrible. You've been at it since 2005, so for two years you haven't even learned how to put together something that's not terrible? Way to go! I'm sure someone's proud of you for not accomplishing a damn thing in two fucking years.
But all is illuminated. "I think Sluggy Freelance was the first webcomic I ever read," she says. "I thought: I can do that!"
Depressingly, no, you can't. Your webcomic is not even anywhere close to being on the same level as Sluggy fuckin' Freelance, which is pathetic on a level I can't begin to comprehend. Also you refer to "learning word balloons" as if now you know how - you don't. Even your idol, Pete Abrams, can make a semi-decent one, even if it is full of eight billion fucking words. Nice little addendum with "manners are not optional" though. I can practically taste your hopeless idealism, and oh it is ripe for the crushing. Let's look at it another way: my various impolite remarks are the logical response to the massive insult you have subjected me to by putting your shitty webcomic where I can read it. Kismetropolis is a massive "UP YOURS, YOU FUCKERS" from Jamie Kingston to the world at large, and as part of the world at large, I say "YEAH WELL FUCK YOU TOO, PAL" in my best Bronx accent.
If you still cling to the hopeless delusion that everything I said is somehow moot because I'm being a big meanie, then have this separate sentence in the blandest, most inoffensive terms: your webcomic is boring, confusing and uninteresting. Does that spell it out for you? Because Goddamn, it's true. Watching paint dry is not only vastly more entertaining than Kismetropolis, it's also more colourful and less full of stupid Internet clichés and your attempts to make your sad life roleplaying on some shitty MUD seem like anything but a pathetic stream of depressing misery. Since even I was wishing you'd go out and get a fucking life already, you've failed at that. You can start doing something with your pointless existence that would make your webcomic worth reading, or stop making it entirely. Either one of those would be nice, but if you try for the former then for God's sake learn how to fucking draw and learn how to fucking write.
191 comments:
- I take serious issues with this girl's definition of "fanservice." The things that are being drawn in the latest installments do service to no one. It makes me feel a little bad since she seems like a decent person. Just... this is a terrible, unreadable product. As another of this webcomic's crimes that went unmentioned, allow me to point out http://www.kismetropolis.com/view.php?date=2007-09-19>the use of anigif on the second-most-recent strip actual page. I don't know if this is a trend in the comic or not, but seriously, who thinks that this is a good idea?
- The fact that she couldn't keep the text inside the word balloons in the very strip where she talked about "learning word balloons" amuses me greatly.
- My improper use of hyperlinks also does service to no one. There.
- "Don't worry about the cameras, I've gone crosseyed."
- This is the least offensive comic you've reviewed to date man. Sure, it isn't good, and it is pretty bad, but its bad in the "I want to be better so I'm practicing a lot" kind of way. You should have done bigger than cheeses instead and responded to him calling you out.
- If I stick with reviewing only the worst of the worst, then the incompetent morons who put out shit like this will think what they do isn't awful. I'm not going to let that happen.
- Another awesome review.
- Yet another comic that sucks but not necessarily for the reasons given here... It's not in color. So fucking what? That's not worth mentioning. Plenty of great webcomics are in black and white, and quite frankly 99% of the ones that ARE in color look horrible due to over-use of gradients and lighting effects. I think what you're trying to say is that there's no real sense of chiaroscuro in a lot of the panels... But that's like the 900th thing that's wrong with this.
- Dear Lord . . . That is some of the worst art I have ever seen.
- Black & White's fine, as long as it's clean, not all blurry & dark.
- Plenty of great webcomics are in black and white, and quite frankly 99% of the ones that ARE in color look horrible due to over-use of gradients and lighting effects. You're right, there are plenty of great webcomics that use black and white. However, this is not a great webcomic, nor is it in black and white. What it does is use dark grey to replace colour. As such, it looks terrible and sucks. Proper black and white art, good black and white art, uses a few select shades of grey. This just looks like it's been coloured in, run through a greyscale filter and then run through brightness/contrast until it's a suitable level of ugly.
- Saying this comics art is bad because of the over use of filters and the really dark shading just doesn't cover it. Look at a pge and imaging it as just plain black and white line art. . . . Got it? It's still totally shit isn't it?
- My eyes burn and my mind stumbles over its metaphorical feet to try and regain its bearings. The 'artwork' was a mindrape, and I have a feeling my eyes will be bleeding for a while. I guess it's only false hope that makes me cling to the ideal outcome from this review that the artist will delete her comic and disappear from the Internet. Is it just me or does the artwork vaguely remind you of the incompetent students in a junior high art class? Also... the guy in the black suit with the lazer-vision bit going on would look cool if his face wasn't designed after the artist's shit.
- The text is fucking eye-searing.
- god bless you, john solomon. god bless you.
- There are so many examples detailing her horrible attempts at art. Look at the bottom of the "chat logs" page. It looks like she drew her characters in pencil, then tried to draw over them with a heavy brush stroke. Only, she missed large portions of her first lines and did not bother to clean up the mess she made. You see there are very few attempts to clean any brushwork up later if you take a look at comic #199 (the one before tehkou's link). Notice how each window is a different size and shape? Not to mention some windows are not even placed level to the ones next to them. Then there are the random black vertical lines that change width. I have no idea what those are supposed to be. Really, the entire building looks like it was made by a young child playing around with the square tool on MSPaint. Comic #201 further shows that she cannot draw a circle. Look at the goggles in the first panel. I do not even know what word to use to describe them, but circle is definitely not one of them. Then, down in panel three, there are things that resemble decoration arrows, only none of them have a consistent width or resemble any of the other arrows in terms of size and width. Not only that, but I think they are supposed to look something like |/\|/\|/\| | | | | |/\|/\|/\| | | | | |/\|/\|/\| Too bad they don't line up that way if you look at the angle she has them slanted at. Oh, and I just noticed that she forgot, or was too lazy, to redraw some of the panel edges as well as erase other lines that fell outside them. Really, if you go through the time to draw this crap, at least spend the extra five or ten minutes to look it over and make it (somewhat)presentable.
- your attempts to make your sad life roleplaying on some shitty MUD Pardon the pun, but "mud" is exactly what the art looks like. If you greyscaled and darkened the mud, of course.
- Oh noes, a bad webcomic! Shock and horror. I did not see this coming. The artist should be hung upside down, tortured till she finally draws her last breath. Because if you write a bad webcomic, well, you're just lower than the dirt I walk on. Clearly. Serious business.
- I couldn't bear to read the text so I'll take your word for it that it sucks. Actually I could barely bring myself to merely look upon this travesty either. Sometimes (such as in the Shredded Moose review) I relish reaching a link to the webcomic in the review so that I might taste the badness of the webcomic. Like a connoisseur of shit. But with Kismetropolis I just wanted to get in and then out again as fast as possible (as with Hookie Dookie Panic). You must have formidable mental fortitude, John Soloman, to wade through this fucking pile of shit. To choose to suffer through those dire archives of your own volition that we might not have to. At least no more than necessary. Like evil itself, bad webcomics will plague humanity for as long as talentless hacks have access to artistic tools and the Internet. Like a doctor who dedicates his entire life to the extermination of a deadly virus, you fight the good fight in the knowledge that your implacable foe cannot, ultimately, be defeated. But you do it anyway and for this I salute you.
- Holy crap. I've actually dealt with this person. That character is a self-insert that she's been roleplaying in several communities on Livejournal for awhile now (at least a year before she started the comic, AFAIK). And no, her writing isn't any better there. Her RP shtick from what I've seen is to walk up to various famous fictional characters (the game in question is a cross-fandom RP) and go "UR A FICTIONAL CHARACTER LOL." or worse, something like "OMG UR JASON TODD?! YOU TOTALLY GET BEATEN TO DEATH BY THE JOKER OMG LOL. HERE'S A YOUTUBE VIDEO ABOUT IT!"
- It's like a goth in blackface in an underground coal cellar at midnight when even the very concept of light has ceased to be. I lol'd. I liked the Pleasantville reference, too.
- here's the thing about this comic: i read the whole thing. every strip. and I have *no idea what this comic is about.* there's some stuff about the self-insert character's love life, and there's an angel who fell from heaven (by *accident*, apparently, which is actually a pretty cool idea - if it were investigated), and there's a superhero - multiple superheroes, actually - and demons... ...and what the hell do all these elements have to do with one another? i mean, she's over the 200 strip mark at this point, and only maybe fifteen or twenty of them are filler strips - (and really, I feel almost guilty calling her out like this, because it's obvious that despite not being very good at making webcomics, she's a pretty decent human being in most other respects, unlike brew or hookie dookie asshole, and the very pleasant nature of the filler strips makes that evident) - anyway, she's 200 strips into this thing. 200 pages of comics. 180 if you want to be really strict and not count the filler pages. i mean, consider what other people have done in 180 pages of comics. 180 pages of comics is about eight issues of a "regular" floppy comic. 180 pages is over half of "watchmen". it's the entirety of the "season of mists" arc in "sandman". fuck, it's even an entire ultimate spider-man trade paperback, to reference your brian michael bendis comment. 180 pages, and I still have no idea who the characters are. their inner lives are a mystery; the story is a sequence of seemingly random events and characters whining about what happens to them for the most part. i have no idea what her total story arc is, or if she even has one. and yes, the art is just terrible, and i think she's convinced herself that teaching herself to use photoshop filters and things is proof that she's progressing as an artist, but she just doesn't know anatomy, and until she learns it - preferably by some life drawing classes or something - she's not going to get any better. the core of her work is bad, and she's trying to learn the advanced stuff first. like i said - a shame, because she seems quite nice, but nobody said niceness was a requirement for good art.
- Displayed rather prominently on each page of the webcomic is a label that states, "Web MA, Viewer Discretion Advised". Indeed.
- I really feel like the artist does not even care about what they are producing. Even after 200 strips, the artist is still making really simple mistakes. For example, the panel border going through the guy in the suit's hand. And they did not bother touching up after using photoshop's fill tool, so the background colors are visible through his suit in places. If you won't even bother to learn how to use your chosen tools, why should anyone bother reading your comic?
- This is just so... Her entire comic looks like the kind of thing I turn out in MSPaint as a joke for guest comics. Even marginally worse.
- Anyone who knows how to use photoshop, or knows how to use a tablet, should LAUGH at her claims of aptitude. Because it is HARD to be as bad as she is while using either of those two tools for any length of time. Laugh and cry, really. Laugh and cry. What makes me angry, as an aspiring artist myself, is that if in two years you cannot improve your artistic ability more than she has--you don't actually care about improving your art. And if you say you do, you're just lying. To yourself, or to us, I don't know but I DO know about practising drawing
- Thank you and your "team" for doing what you do. It is really refreshing to have someone calling out this sweaty circle-jerk of a community. I also have to thank the sycophants for making the responses as entertaining as the reviews. Nothing warms the blackened and shriveled soul like the bloody screams of enraged fanbois. I am looking forward to your open minded review of MegaTokyo. The response will be something akin to a digital air fuel bomb I am sure. Ooooooh the anticipation!
- I like the British guy. I know he's British because he says things like "luv" and "bloody hell." Moral of the story: if your only exposure to British people is issues of Hellblazer, don't try to write them, k?
- http://www.vgcats.com/comics/images/070918.jpg John, why is everybody cumming over this?
- holy shit, how can a comic be so dark? it feels like you're struggling desperately to read it with a blindfold on, except the burning sensation in your eyes tells you otherwise.
- http://www.kismetropolis.com/view.php?date=2005-10-05 In this "diary" strip dated OCTOBER 2005, she pastes in an image of the New York skyline (rather than actually draw it)--only the image she chose has the Twin Towers in it. In 2005. Either this girl has been living under a rock , or this is the most lazy and careless example of appropriated, pasted in imagery I've ever seen.
- *Looks at last comment* PROMOTIONS!
- 180 pages is over half of "watchmen". it's the entirety of the "season of mists" arc in "sandman". fuck, it's even an entire ultimate spider-man trade paperback, to reference your brian michael bendis comment. This is pretty damning. This particular author seems to be inspired in all the wrong ways by all the wrong people. Sluggy Freelance? Ugh. Queen of Wands might be better (I've never read it) but Aeire's art/coloring is definitely NOT what you'd want to emulate. The creator needs to kill this comic, as self-insertions are unsalvageable, and take a long hiatus from putting shit up on the internet. During this hiatus she should work very very hard at improving. If she did that...then who knows?
- "Sometimes (such as in the Shredded Moose review) I relish reaching a link to the webcomic in the review so that I might taste the badness of the webcomic. Like a connoisseur of shit." Never has one man summed up the delicate art of webcomic review so succinctly. I tip my hat to you, good sir.
- I may deduce how she managed to do such dark pages without noticing anything wrong in lisibility (unless anything else) : she had her monitor brightness at its higher value or a TFT monitor. But that doesn't excuse anything, because she didn't consider that not everybody has the same color/brightness settings as hers. I had worked in a video game studio as a colorist for backgrounds, and my Art director remarked that most of the color looked like shit on a TFT monitor (well... just like washed off, but he didn't like it) while on a standart cathodic monitor they were good. His idea was : "Let's put the brightness of the background at its lowest. See ? Much more better !" - My reaction was : "Yeah but... What about the players with a cathodic monitor ? (the BGs were indeed pich black on those)" - "We'll put a subroutine that make those people change the brightness contrast on their monitor." I wasn't really satisfied with that argument, which breathes more of lazyness that anything else. Because later I discovered by myself it's all a matter of contrast, not brightness. If an artist manages to work well enough the contrast in his/her composition, the illustration can fit on any monitor and still being readable. The point is : lack of consideration and reflection.
- But that doesn't excuse anything, because she didn't consider that not everybody has the same color/brightness settings as hers. Yeah, this can actually be a pretty tough thing to get right, and would be a nice thing for Your Webcomic Can Be Saved to cover, once they get done with the word balloon tutorial. How to make sure your comic will look vaguely decent on all monitors, resolutions, and bandwidths. It's a tough thing to work with, and something that probably doesn't even occur to most people.
- So uh... I read this... I'm going to take back my earlier comment. Can I do that?
- I remember encountering this webcomic last year sometime. I tend to be forgiving of art, but what made me unable to get through the archives was the total lack of cohesion. It's like she spastically jots down whatever snippet of idea pops into her mind and calls it a "plot." In her mind the snippets are probably all related, but she's totally unable to communicate coherent ideas. I'd say she's arguably the least organized comic pseudo-writer you've reviewed so far. At least the other comics to date were able to make a point (even if it was offensive/stupid). Jamie can't even manage that level.
- I was reading Penny and Aggie and saw the banner for this comic, so I opened it in a new tab. Then I was like "Hey! It's friday! Better chck out YWiB first!" And will you look at that- there is the very webcomic I had haphazardly clicked upon. The timing was perfect, good sir. Thanks for the warning.
- I love how she says she's "downright comfortable" with her tablet on this strip. Seriously, what the fuck kind of tablet is she using? Or, better question: What the fuck kind of program is she using with that tablet? (Answer: MS Paint) MS Paint is free - obviously it's the best choice! Let's ignore free downloads of programs worth two shits! (and we all know that those illegal copies of Photoshop 7.0 your friends are offering are for those people for whom manners are optional.)
- The thing to remember here is that when technology gets taken into the equation, there will be things that you will need to confront--no exceptions. The very fact that this comic sporadically includes certain story elements is just an indicator of the real problem here: Somebody's home, but the lights are off. I have a deep respect for anyone who makes a good webcomic, which doesn't mean I can't have a respect for this author, but all the same, I don't, because there is nothing here that makes me take off my hat. On the topic of word balloons: The thing to remember is context. Are you writing a good dialogue? What goes in the balloons is a sure shot for figuring out how to make balloons. It works 100% of the time, and if you don't see that, then maybe you need to bury yourself for a while. What would make this comic better? Hmm...I'd say pacing. Pacing and a real sense of clarity that a child could understand. In conclusion, this is such a bad webcomic, that after I read it, I had to sit down. Later I did the dishes. -Sonnty Mick
- A lot of the old Superman comics used those big arrows to indicate which panel should be read next. But those old Superman comics were also written for kids who were about 8-10. I don't really have a point aside from a brief history lesson on giant arrows. I'll be quiet now.
- Seriously, what the fuck kind of tablet is she using? Stone.
- So uh... I read this... I'm going to take back my earlier comment. Can I do that? I'll allow it... THIS TIME. Don't doubt my eerie powers in future.
- And it's also a very good idea to practice with the damn tablet before releasing any art done with it. Of course, it helps if you have some damn talent in the first place. Ugh, clicking on the samples hurt, hurt, hurt. From what I gather, she seems like a decent enough person who honestly believes that she's producing a fantastic story. That's what makes this piece of... work... even more sad.
- A lot of the old Superman comics used those big arrows to indicate which panel should be read next. A lot of old Superman comics had plots that made no fucking sense and giant arrows were just the simplest way of hurrying the kids through some convoluted piece of shit about magic space rubies turning Jimmy Olsen into a fifty-foot magnetic phallus.
- I've seen this kid on livejournal RPs too. She's worse at RPing than she is at making comics, and that's fucking saying something. Seriously, after clicking those links, all I thought was "what the hell am I looking at", and that should never, ever be anyone's reaction ever upon seeing a webcomic.
- "Stop, Superman! These space jewels have turned me from Super-PAL to Super-PHALLUS!" "Great Rao! If I don't find a way to turn my pal Jimmy back to his old self again... METROPOLIS IS DOOMED!" Also in this issue: Lois Lane turns into a hairbrush!
- "This hairbrush will be good to brush my Super-Hair with! Pity Lois isn't around to see it happen!" "How can I let Superman know that the hairbrush he's about to use... is really ME!"
- And another thing: she's one of those people on livejournal that draws all their own icons. If you ever see one of those people, run like hell. There's a 95% chance they're otherkin.
- I felt this was missing something until you parodied the old Superman comics. Now it is complete.
- The problem with her art, color or monotone, is that she has no sense of value. She's just using any color or shade and slapping it up there without considering how bright or dark it is. The results are awful. WOMAN, TAKE A COLOR THEORY CLASS. Or better yet STOP POSTING THIS WEBCOMIC This was such a pain to get through, art aside, I had no idea what was going on at any given time. The art is probably the worst part of this mess though. Just because you can, doesn't mean you should.
- "How can I let Superman know that the hairbrush he's about to use... is really ME!" "Oh Superman, your hair is just fabulous! How ever did you get it to look so nice!" "That Lana Lang! She'll steal him for sure - and it will be my fault!"
- Please, stop referring to Jamie as a "kid." She's in her mid-thirties at least, I'm pretty sure.
- Please, stop referring to Jamie as a "kid." She's in her mid-thirties at least, I'm pretty sure. I don't know what's worse, that she's 30 years old and makes this crappy webcomic, or that she's 30 years old and idolises Sluggy Freelance.
- Re Lois Lane as hairbrush etc.: Considering that in one issue Jimmy Olsen became The Red-Headed Beatle of 1000 B.C., you folks aren't far off. Seriously, what were those Silver Age DC writers on? And where can I get some?
- Re Lois Lane as hairbrush etc.: Considering that in one issue Jimmy Olsen became The Red-Headed Beatle of 1000 B.C., you folks aren't far off. Yeah, but clearly they were being sarcastic, because Superman himself says, "he's becoming as popular as RINGO!" ...And that's all I need to say.
- The early comics in this one hurt my eyes. And I don't mean that as a hyperbolic way of saying the art is bad, I mean they're so dark they literally hurt to read. Even with the contrast and brightness dials of my monitor turned all the way up I can barely make anything out. I'm curious what was going on in her head with those early strips. As Mr. Solomon said, it looks like color art that was turned greyscale. Why would you do that? Also, another thing I want to know is why she, to use the phrase from webcomics triage, carves her balloons into jigsaws. What purpose does it serve? I could see doing it to break up a long speech into separate ideas, but that's not what she's doing. Hell, sometimes the indentations are so against the grain of the text that they cause the text to fall right out of the bubbles; Look at the last bubble on that page! It's like she first draws a bunch of linked together bubbles, and then types a bunch of center-justified text over the general area of the bubbles. Most of the shortcuts people take that result in crappy comics are transparent; it's easy to understand somebody getting bored with life drawing and starting in on the cartoons with no foundation, but I can't for the life of me understand the logic behind the darkness and the weird bubbles. Also, her character outlines are really damn grainy. It looks like she did that thing where you go "Fuck it, I'm too lazy to bother with inking, I'll just scan my pencils, turn the contrast up until the lines are black, and color that. I tried that a couple of times in high school. It looked like crap then, and it looks like crap in Kismetropolis. Also, fuck you lady Bo-Bobo is awesome. As for the aforelinked VGCats, that one kind of depresses me. The guy's work is polished, but he's stuck on a really limited pallet of facial expressions, which seems to get more and more abstract and limited as time goes on. None of the expressions in that one really make any sense with regard to what the characters are doing and saying.
- She is in her early 40s, and her real name is Indigo, not Jamie. I think she has shown some improvement over the last two years. Not very marked improvement, and not in the basics like anatomy; more like observing tricks and shorthand in comics and applying that to her own art. Anyway I think that bad webcomics do have their place on the internet, so I'm clearly not your audience. Carry on.
- Lois Lane turns into a hairbrush! THIS IS NOT A DREAM! THIS IS NOT A FAKE STORY! IT IS NOT IMAGINARY! IT IS NOT A HOAX! THIS IS NOT A ALTERNATE UNIVERSE! SHE IS NOT A ROBOT! THIS IS PERMANENT!
- the one thing I really don't understand about webcomics is how do the artists who are either all young or have shitty jobs or no lives afford the expensive software they claim to use? Adobe should look into all shitty webcomics if they look like they're using photoshop, I bet they'd find a ton of cracked copies. I blame cracked copies of adobe software for the glut of shitty webcomics out there for making people think that their shitty doodles turn into pure gold if done in photoshop with a tablet with a few filters added.
- Anonymous said... And another thing: she's one of those people on livejournal that draws all their own icons. If you ever see one of those people, run like hell. There's a 95% chance they're otherkin. I resent this, though I just drew my avatar, not my icons. So I decided to look through all the archives, hoping to find some amount of even marginal improvement, and it seems there just... isn't. She just sucks using different media. I have to wonder if she actually tries, or if she just produces a single draft and goes "Yes! This is a good thing I have made." I should go on the record as saying that I HATE this. Generally, when I make a comic, its more along the lines this process: 1. Basic script. Establish what the dialog should cover, some explaination as to character actions. 2. Fleshing out of dialog/onomatopoeia. Rigorous spell/grammar checking. 3. Storyboard based on script. Sometimes I will go through as many as 6 different versions before settling on a method. 4. Sometimes the script will be revised again here. this is typically when the page is too dialog heavy to present the characters. 5. Individual panel sketches to establish light positions and such. 6. Detailing out the panels until they actually look like a finished product. 7. Finalized page, ready to go online. Wow, that sounds like a LOT of work, doesn't it? Well what people like the chick doing Kismetropolis don't seem to realise is that comics ARE hard work. You can't just randomly shit on a page like this and call it a comic. If you expect people are going to see this, give them something GOOD to see, at the very least.
- Also, fuck you lady Bo-Bobo is awesome. No, it's not.
- Very few home users have legit copies of Photoshop (save for ones getting it from work).. It's just way too pricey, even for skilled artists ($900 to upgrade lol). I also have the feeling that adobe doesn't really care /that/ much, especially if you consider how much they make with volume licenses. But you really can't blame photoshop for enabling these people. They could just as easily use mspaint, paintshop pro, corel, flash, etc. What you can do is blame the artist for thinking that since they use photoshop, it's going to automatically be awesome just /because/ it's photoshop. Sorry bad artists, even if you are using a tablet and/or photoshop, you still have to practice and build up your skills just like any other medium.
- Oh god. This joke is SO old and worn out but I have to use it... This must be a Doom 3 fan comic. There. Now that's out of my system.
- Anyway I think that bad webcomics do have their place on the internet, so I'm clearly not your audience. Carry on. What possible reason(s) could you have for saying this?
- Marysue: If I had my way her tablet would be a cyanide one. That said I laughed at the attempt at angst drama, as I was following the links in the article so the horribly drawn and dark scenes where everyone was crying made next to no sense to me. I started laughing fairly spontaneously, so I guess in amongst all its crap I suppose there's that one shining light. There really needs to be something done about webcomics done "Just because". If it's a series of topical near continuity-less comic strips like say Penny Arcade, I could understand why it's still around so long after its inception. Things like this though, they just go meandering through the cosmos like a giant lump of space-turd (or super-turd) with barely an idea of how it's supposed to start and no idea where it's going to go. They accomplish nothing (least of all towards the artist refining their craft), entertain only people with an obsessive compulsive disorder who have to read all the shit on the internet, and usually end not with a tying up of the plot but with a silent death, the aborted effort joining all the others in a grand shrine to mediocrity.
- Speaking of terrible webcomics based off of RPs....
- 1] I hate frames; and 2] I hate flash. That said, here's the fixed link.
- She is in her early 40s, and her real name is Indigo, not Jamie. Really? Indigo totally sounds like the Mary Sue girly princess fantasy self name. Jamie is--well, kinda normal.
- "180 pages is over half of "watchmen". it's the entirety of the "season of mists" arc in "sandman". fuck, it's even an entire ultimate spider-man trade paperback, to reference your brian michael bendis comment." I completely agree, but in all seriousness, you're comparing a Special Olympian to seasoned triathletes, here.
- She does *art commissions* on her LiveJournal. ART COMMISSIONS. That's pretty sad, considering she can not draw worth *shit*.
- Her "style" reminds me a lot of the Arizona Law Toons: http://www.lawforkids.org/toons/browse.cfm It's like the facial expressions change, somewhat, but still have a "vacant" look to them. Law Toons isn't a "webcomic" in the normal sense, but there's a lot of unintentionally hilarious shit there. (That site's been ripped on quite a bit already, though.) "Yet another comic that sucks but not necessarily for the reasons given here... It's not in color. So fucking what? That's not worth mentioning. Plenty of great webcomics are in black and white, and quite frankly 99% of the ones that ARE in color look horrible due to over-use of gradients and lighting effects. I think what you're trying to say is that there's no real sense of chiaroscuro in a lot of the panels... But that's like the 900th thing that's wrong with this." You're missing the point. Entirely. So much so, that I'd almost think you're doing it on purpose in an attempt to be funny. Yes, other comics, sometimes even good ones, are drawn in B&W. But this is the first time I've ever seen a comic whose panels are so dark, you can't even see what's going on!! It's like the equivalent of finding a Geocities site written in Wingdings (yes, it's happened).
- You are both suspended.
- http://ttandf.smackjeeves.com/ In all seriousness, I have to say that this, is truly the single worst comic on the face of the internet. I really, truly think so.
- I can't believe what I've just seen in this comic. I really had no idea that people are posting so much shit on the internet. I mean - I know that there are truckloads of shit on the net but until now I've been thinking that they are kind of one-shot "wonders"... Now I finally realize that there's even shit on the internet that gets updated all the time and even attracts other people... Has the invasion of the brain-eating mutant cucumbers from Mars already begun? I surely hope so because I see no other way to explain this internet phenomenon. As to black and white art - you don't have to look far to find good examples of it. Just head over to the Your Webcomic Can Still Be Saved and look how it's done properly. The fact that some instructional panels by Meredith Lewis mostly showing how things shouldn't be done are better drawn and even written than a whole webcomic that has been running for over two years is absolutely stunning... or rather sad... I think good artists can't even recreate the pure shittyness of all these untalented pricks - it must take some special kind of talent to draw and write such gargantuan piles of crap. P.C. (Preemptive Comment) No, I'm not trying to get into Meredith's pants - it's not even her blog I'm commenting on.
- 1] I hate frames; and 2] I hate flash. That said, here's the fixed link. But all said, this link is WAY more ambitious than most crap. It still sucks, and they should invest more in more in art lessons and VA lessons, but still... for a little fan project... that's a big fan project. But it IS still crap.
- She does *art commissions* on her LiveJournal. ART COMMISSIONS. That's pretty sad, considering she can not draw worth *shit*. And what's sadder is, I bet she actually makes money off of them. People have no fucking standards, I swear to god.
- This post has been removed by the author.
- Ha! After some googling I was able to find Meredith's homepage. That wasn't so hard. I kinda like her style - my father used to draw in a similar manner with clear, simple lines. Whoa - there's even some tit-flashing going on there! On a diary comic! (No, I'm not a Shredded Moose reader.)
- Yeah, it really is a crime for someone to make such a lousy webcomic and then advertise it with all those Google ads for this blog, a massive viral marketing campaign, all those- no? Oh, yes, silly me. That's because she didn't do any of that. She drew it for her own pleasure and put it up to share with friends and anyone else who might want to read it. Amateurish, you say? How much money did she charge you for it?
- By virtue of it being on the net, the webcomic is open to criticism. Even if it WAS her intent to share it with a small group of people, it doesn't mean it shouldn't get a helping of criticism that it deserves.
- I saw this review and I thought "no, it couldn't possibly be the same person I know from RP". Then I read the comments and apparently it is. That made the review that much more hilarious.
- I found this on Meredith's site, some fanart for Cave Story. I love this woman.
- Yeah, it really is a crime for someone to make such a lousy webcomic and then advertise it with all those Google ads for this blog, a massive viral marketing campaign, all those- no? Oh, yes, silly me. That's because she didn't do any of that. She drew it for her own pleasure and put it up to share with friends and anyone else who might want to read it. Amateurish, you say? How much money did she charge you for it? None, but she now owes me money for the damages her webcomic caused to me. You can't be horrible shit like that up on the web and not get nailed for it. It's like watching a sin against humanity.
- That Cave Story drawing actually looks better than anything I saw in the comic. And this probably makes me completely weeaboo or whatever, but that gun the guy's holding looks an awful lot like Vash the Stampede's gun.
- She charges forty bucks for a 'commissioned art piece'. Apparently, there's no queue currently. Why am I *not* surprised?
- That Cave Story drawing actually looks better than anything I saw in the comic. Well, yeah - they're drawn by different people.
- Black and white can be good. Black and black, with some dark-ass grey? Not good, ever. Not that going to color really made things better. Now we realize that it doesn't matter that we can see what's going on. There's really nothing going on. Also...the artwork...I draw about on par with what she does. This is not a compliment to her art. You will note that I do not myself attempt to draw a webcomic, because I am aware of my flaws and focus on creative works that accent my strengths. And she really hasn't gotten that much better, even after 180 pages, suggesting that she may have indeed reached her peak, and there's not much point in continuing.
- "I am looking forward to your open minded review of MegaTokyo." I just got a great mental image of Solomon finally doing this review after all. Friday comes, the fans come in all excited for the new update and gasp with anticipation as they first glimpse the title at the top of the page: "MEGATOKYO" After some empty space for dramatic pause, one line: "Megatokyo sucks." Written by John Solomon on Friday, October 5, 2007. 1092 comments.
- She is in her early 40s, and her real name is Indigo, not Jamie. I think she has shown some improvement over the last two years. Not very marked improvement, and not in the basics like anatomy; more like observing tricks and shorthand in comics and applying that to her own art. Anyway I think that bad webcomics do have their place on the internet, so I'm clearly not your audience. Carry on. It's Jamie according to this strip, which is by her, so I think she'd know. She's not shown any improvement, either in that respect or any other, so why you said that I have no idea. Aaaaaaaaand you're an idiot.
- Yet another boring, badly rendered comic that just sort of meanders about without any real purpose. Oh wait, it does serve a purpose, allowing a very mildly unnattractive appearing middle aged woman to pretend she's a purple-eyed knockout...and an interesting person. And that's just sad. And perhaps mean of me to say, but that's the impression I've gotten ever since I first heard of this comic, which is the "story of a fangirl who's more than she seems, finding out the world is more than it seems." Anytime you see a webcomic creator describe their comic in such a fashion, you should consider it a huge blinking neon "STAY AWAY" sign.
- I really want to read that Hairbrush story now. There could be a whole page of brushing shots with arrows to show you just how he brushes it.
- It's Jamie according to this strip, which is by her, so I think she'd know. ... Aaaaaaaaand you're an idiot. From http://www.kismetropolis.com/faq.php : Are the Kismetropolis characters based on anybody? Yes. Jamie Kingston is semi-autobiographical. The name in fact is an anagram of the stage name I took during a brief, foolhardy attempt to become an actress. So her name's not actually Jamie. Also, on the WTC: Your comic takes place in a NY that has a WTC? That's correct. They were part of my life growing up in New York and they will be rebuilt somehow. My imagination does not like a New York without them, and it seemed disrespectful to their memory to leave them out. So... apparently, you were a little off on a few points there, John. (I didn't bother looking for the place where you mention the Trade-Tower comic, because I just got back from work and I'm tired.) I mean, I can't blame you for reading the faq page of this awful piece of shit. Hell, I couldn't bring myself to read a single word of dialog in the linked comics, simply because my brain registered the entire thing as white noise. Still... maybe you should hold off on calling people idiots until you know for sure what you're talking about. On the other hand, that wouldn't be as interesting.
- The Kismetropolis-spawner made a fan comic for http://www.dangerousthings.net/ as well. To save you the time from actually reading the comic I just linked, read the first panel of http://www.dangerousthings.net/archive/114.shtml and die a little inside.
- Oh geez, even worse: http://www.dangerousthings.net/archive/113.shtml That's the artist from Gunnerkrigg Court--one of the few GOOD webcomics on the 'tubes. ...Why did he help them?! WHY?! I'm not sure what to believe anymore.
- apparently, you were a little off on a few points there, John. (I didn't bother looking for the place where you mention the Trade-Tower comic, because I just got back from work and I'm tired.) Because john actually didn't. that was another user who mentioned it in reply to this review. Although john was wrong about the creators name which is vital when reviewing how terrible a webcomic is! so he really dropped the ball on that one! how dare he call people stupid when he couldn't be botherd to read a shitty FAQ about a shitty webcomic just to learn what the authors name wasn't.
- Please someone review http://redstring.strawberrycomics.com/ It is 24 chapters of shit Japanese romance drawn by some talentless American housewife who has never been to Japan and gets all her info from Google. Also, she has a $1000 donation bar. Fucker.
- When I see two names, one being "Jamie Kingston" and the other being "Indigo", I usually opt for the actual name and not the quasi-animu flower child shit. If her name is actually and literally "Indigo" by deed poll or terrible parents, then fuck her even more. That's a horrible name for a human being to have.
- If her name is actually and literally "Indigo" by deed poll or terrible parents, then fuck her even more. That's a horrible name for a human being to have. God help her if she's an Indigo Child-- though if she's 40 it's unlikely she'd've been tagged as one when she actually was a kid.
- If her name is actually and literally "Indigo" by deed poll or terrible parents, then fuck her even more. That's a horrible name for a human being to have. Oh, come on, John. That's crossing the line a little; Indigo may have put out a webcomic you consider bad, but (unlike many of the others you have been reviewed here), she herself is a decent human being. If she likes the name, what's wrong with it? Maybe it's a little hippie-esque, but the world could use some hippie-esque these days.
- Oh wait, it does serve a purpose, allowing a very mildly unnattractive appearing middle aged woman to pretend she's a purple-eyed knockout... Is there a photo of her somewhere to compare to the drawing? This really made me sick: Also, on the WTC: Your comic takes place in a NY that has a WTC? That's correct. They were part of my life growing up in New York and they will be rebuilt somehow. My imagination does not like a New York without them, and it seemed disrespectful to their memory to leave them out. So basically she can't cope with reality and just wants to "pretend it never happened". Well, I know survivors (and one not-a-survivor) who don't have that luxury. Whatever Indica/Sativa/whatever the fuck her name is's imagination "likes" or not, these people(and the rest of us conscious New Yorkers) have to deal with the fact that it DID occur and there have been numerous repurcussions of it.
- Indigo may have put out a webcomic you consider bad, but (unlike many of the others you have been reviewed here), she herself is a decent human being. Not so far as I've seen.
- Somehow my comment ended up under another entry. I just wanted to point out her pages of Dominic Deegan fan art: http://www.kismetropolis.com/gallery/v/KMT-Indigo/dd/
- If she likes the name, what's wrong with it? It's Indigo, and she likes it. It's a pretty open-and-shut case for what's wrong with that name.
- Somehow my comment ended up under another entry. I just wanted to point out her pages of Dominic Deegan fan art Case for being a decent human being: DOWN IN FLAMES.
- Ha, ha, ha! I managed to find something that is actually funny on the Kismetropolis site: Commissions Custom, Color LJ User Icon: $7 Pencil Sketch: $15 Inked Pencil Drawing $20 [icon thrown in free] Pencil Drawing $25 [icon thrown in free] Inked Drawing $30 [icon thrown in free] Pencil Drawing plus full color upload $40 No, wait, that isn't funny - that's fucking distasteful. P.S. As to the Cave Story fanart by Meredith - I actually like her other drawings better. However, her liking Cave Story scores her a million points in my book since I'm an avid indie-gamer.
- A "decent human being?" She's a sad, 40 year-old woman who writes and draws (both terms loosely applied in this case) a comic all about how she is a magical gumdrop starchild who is one of the few unique blessed souls who can see the magic and beauty in the world. It's a disgusting, self-indulgent piece of shit (as is the author) about some old bat's rich fantasy life that she wants to inflict on everyone else. Fuck her.
- Case for being a decent human being: DOWN IN FLAMES. The funny thing being that she also has fanart sections for Sluggy Freelance and Ctrl + Alt + Del. This is a strong argument for the circle-jerk theory and that shitty webcomic authors really are a different kind of species. I mean - what are the chances that not one but THREE abysmal webcomics already reviewed on this site (and it's not as if YWIBAYSFB reviewed too many of them) find their way into another shitty webcomic author's fanart section? At the same time not a single GOOD webcomic appears. I don't know the rest of the comics listed there but it might be better that way - I assume most of them would qualify for John's blog. I tell you - it's all a huge conspiracy! Crappy webcomic authors are taking over the internet and the whole world one strip at a time! It's like some global freemasonry organization.
- Since we're speaking of retarded flower childs and the things that makes them tingle inside... Holiest of the house of turd. Now I know what regret feels like. Advice: Don't click on the damn link if you don't possess a strong stomach. Now I know why I stopped checking this utter piece of shit almost as fast as I discovered it.
- Namiya... did you just link all of us to Dominic Deegan softcore? (I'm not being rhetorical. I ask because I can't actually tell what's going on in that last panel. Is it softcore? Is she in skin-tight pants? Is it terrible art? You make the call!)
- Ha, ha, ha! Have you noticed that there's also some weird perspective-stuff going on in this strip? Take the 6th panel - it looks as if it was somebody else's arm stroking this woman's (whatever her name is) head. Of course the last panel tops it all. It looks like some drawing by M.C. Escher. I also love how all the panels are two thirds speech bubbles and one third actual drawing. That might have been a good thing since we would have less shitty art to look at if the writing wasn't equally bad.
- I noticed another thing. It seems that Terracciano has "mastered" exactly two perspectives when it comes to human heads and faces. First of all we have the snout-like side-view and then the 45-degree angle. Both seen in the latest strip (and, in fact, all the other strips as well). Since he apparently can't draw faces viewed from any other angle the perspective on the character's body never quite matches up with the head (panel 4 and 5) unless it's also viewed from the side or tilted at a 45-degree angle. The results look like fucking ancient Egyptian frescoes. See the similarities? Except for the fact that Egyptian frescoes had fucking style and are several thousand years old. Art sure has gone a long way since then, right? Not according to Terracciano.
- See, I look at it this way: when people call out Brew, for example, for being a worthless human being, thats fair because Brew is a fucking misogynistic asshole, in practice and deed, which makes him actively bad. Indigo, on the other hand, just likes some stuff of dubious quality. I don't really think that qualifies her for bad human being status, because I am one of the ten million people who bought Vanilla Ice's first album. Everybody likes something that is crappy, and I don't think it qualifies as a reasonable value judgement on the person - - at the very least, until they start articulating in obviously incorrect ways about WHY they like the crappy whatever. If somebody told you that "Dominic Deegan" had great art and an intelligent, entertaining story, then you could probably start casting aspersions. Fair?
- If you like Deegan enough to make fanart of it, you're a terrible human being.
- Namiya... did you just link all of us to Dominic Deegan softcore? Why I did, and I'm not sorry(if you were emotionally scarred by that, though, then I apologize). But I am honestly tired of witnessing how untalented shit-heads of this sort are basically raking it in when it comes to Commissions or Donations, given how little progress they've done with their respective art and writing. This may make me sound a bit bitter, but that's only because it honestly bothers me of how low standards can people have. Yes, I do both drawing and writing for commissions on the side... I've been doing it for almost as long as I've been involved in music. And what's the common thing to do when you discover a potential craft, even if it's seems like something small? You nurture it. You take lessons. Hell, if you're disciplined enough, you can teach yourself how to do it(mostly) alone. But you do not let your craft go stagnant. That's why I enjoy reading this blog. Yes, I could go on with a teensy bit less swearing(though it would subtract a lot of the fun), but it makes a lot of good points. I hope you continue doing this, Salomon. Maybe(and that's a big maybe) someday one of these hacks will wake up and realize they need to improve... or to get out of the way.
- hey lim-dul please stop talking
- hey lim-dul please stop talking But he's engaged in an anti-shitty-webcomics circle-jerk. If he gets the polarity just right, he'll neutralize their defensive field and destroy them all!
- Of course the last panel tops it all. It looks like some drawing by M.C. Escher. Ugh, I know what you mean by that comment but PLEASE don't compare Escher with this little piece of shit! Sorry, Escher was a genious,
- hey lim-dul please stop talking OK, Mr/Mrs Anonymous #987549, since it's you, I'll comply... Ugh, I know what you mean by that comment but PLEASE don't compare Escher with this little piece of shit! Sorry, Escher was a genious, I concur. Let's change that to "unintentional Escher-wannabe drawing" then, happy now? But he's engaged in an anti-shitty-webcomics circle-jerk. If I ran any anti-webcomic site or was even remotely interested in more than one webcomic (Gone With the Blastwave) then this might have been true... P.S. But the last comment was at least witty and funny - I appreciate that.
- She actually CHARGES COMMISSIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ...! If I can draw things that have a rudimentary sense of proportion... Why,oh why can't I bring myself to rob people blind like this???
- I like how in her "History of the Strip" strip, she acknowledges that she sucked too bad for Marvel or DC, but says it in a way that implies that it's their fault for only publishing things that are readable.
- I like how in her "History of the Strip" strip, she acknowledges that she sucked too bad for Marvel or DC, but says it in a way that implies that it's their fault for only publishing things that are readable. If your too crap at drawing or writing to work for marvel or dc then you must really really fucking suck.
- And if you're too crappy at writing and drawing even to work for Image...well, I don't even want to know about it.
- Lim-dul, more like Lim-DULL, am I right ladies?
- I'm going to go start charging commissions for insulting puns over the internet now.
- Go ahead, unwhiner! OMGROTFLOLWENAFYM!
- Strangely, I didn't think it was nearly as bad as you made it out to be. Is it the best webcomic ever? Nope. But, it's got a certain honest charm to it. Reading it, I get the idea that the author has imagination and that she's most likely a very nice person. Too nice to deserve the personal teardown people have been doing of her in these comments. The artwork may not be everyone's cup of tea. Clearly the author isn't trying for photorealism, I'd say she's going for a chibi anime look (big eyes, and the cute factor) with her own style thrown in. I understand the reviews you've done where you've pointed out racism and other issues. In most cases, I've completely agreed with every word, but on this one we part company. You see something horrible, I see something that has some merit to it. At least the author isn't falling on those tried and true tricks like bashing on men/women/geeks/whatever group happens to annoy her/ just to get some cheap laughs.
- When I read these comments I can definitely see a spiral forming that points to a future where we are all in the same boat together and need to learn new forms of cooperation in order to make sense of it all.
- You see something horrible, I see something that has some merit to it. At least the author isn't falling on those tried and true tricks like bashing on men/women/geeks/whatever group happens to annoy her/ just to get some cheap laughs. No, instead she's recycling the most tired bullshit fantasy tropes with shitty dialogue, no sense of pacing or even basic story construction, a definite tendency to rely on lame internet jokes as punchlines... And her art isn't "Chibi-style." It's bad. Chibi-style might not be my favorite thing in the word, but doing it properly requires some basic knowledge of anatomy and visual composition, and she has precisely zero such knowledge. Put me down as another vote for "she's a nice person" but come on - she's producing total crap, and clearly thinks she's doing a good job.
- God damn this is terrible. Just makes me feel sorry for the person. The author cannot learn shit about shit, nor do she want to. Amazing. Charles
- When I read these comments I can definitely see a spiral forming that points to a future where we are all in the same boat together and need to learn new forms of cooperation in order to make sense of it all. A noble sentiment perhaps, but what does that have to do with the subject of this post, or of this blog?
- >>A noble sentiment perhaps, but what does that have to do with the subject of this post, or of this blog? Absolutely nothing. In any case: http://www.candicomics.com/ Happy birthday.
- This is just another example of an artist that draws like she's 13 because one time when she was 13, someone told her she was a "good drawer" and she thought "well, since I'm so good, I guess I don't ever have to get any better than I am right now!" This is usually the same kind of person that has the teenage mentality well after it's considered excusable by age. I'd feel sorry for her, but to be perfectly honest it's just aggravating.
- So I finally read through absolutely all comments (at the time of my reading) on each entry in this blog, because I am an obsessive compulsive bastard and I like to know what's going on. And now I finally make a comment, most likely with nothing to add. On the comic at hand, I don't rightly feel like I can make any comments on it, because I found it impossible to figure out just what he hell was going on, though that may be say something about it in itself. Although I did only take a cursory glance at the example comics because their very existence repelled my eyes to anywhere but what was going on in them. But I think that even if I could somehow get myself to read through this travesty in full, I probably wouldn't have any better a grasp on it than I do now. In an effort to keep this comment from just being more "O SOLOMON YOU IS THE GREETEST" wankery, I'll say this. Even if your initial purpose of this blog is never realized and the people making these webcomics don't take anything away from it due to themselves or their incessant fantards, know this, John, Mike, Ted, and Lilith: This blog will forever (or at least for quite a while) stand as a towering testament of what NOT to do when making webcomics. (Towering because Blogspot forces everything into this real thin column that extends down into the infinity of the internets.) I've been planning to make my own webcomic(s) for some time now (I'm a really lazy bastard), and reading through these reviews and the subsequent comics has drastically changed many aspects of them once I get around to them. I dare say if I didn't find this lovely blog, I may have very well one day ended up on it. I still may, but if I do, and I really hope that doesn't happen, I'll be damn sure to actually listen to your different viewpoint and try to improve. If I didn't, I wouldn't be the improbably objective person I've made myself out to be over the years. Never give up the good fight you four. And don't stop being entertaining, either. If you do, much of the affect will be lost, and quite possibly to the point of you becoming like Robert A. Howard of Robert A. Howard's Tangents by Robert A. Howard, author of Robert A. Howard's tangents with special guest author Robert A. Howard. (Yes, I did throw that last bit in to get a chance to do a Robert A. Howard joke.) (...Boy do I use a lot of parenthetical statements.)
- A noble sentiment perhaps, but what does that have to do with the subject of this post, or of this blog? That is a question that you have the right to ask, and I will do my best o answer it. The connection is sort of a thing that I had in my mind when I thought of the concept of commenting on a blog (like this one) where other people can see comments, and read the blog that is being commented on. I thought about how a community is something that forms around ideas, and sometimes cooperation can be a valuable ingredient. You see, in this day and age there is pressure on the author (or creator) to attract a community (creation?) around his own work, and that can change how we define failure. But when we redefine something we always forget that we can make it mean something beautiful if we want to... :)
- Namiya, it's okay, I was not scarred by the Dominic Deegan porn. I was taken aback, but like many experiences that seem traumatic at the time, I can just laugh about it now. That's why I enjoy reading this blog. Yes, I could go on with a teensy bit less swearing(though it would subtract a lot of the fun), but it makes a lot of good points. I feel the same way. I'm an artist as well, and I know how to look for flaws but sometimes fall into the "lazy traps" anyway. Because of this blog, there is no way that I will ever draw another lobster claw hand, sit back and say "well, that's good enough, no one will notice." So even if this blog never actually reaches any of the people it's addressed to, there is hope that hundreds of other wannabe webcomic artists and writers will learn about these mistakes, and stop them before they make them themselves.
- Uh, I can think of two instances of characters welcoming the reader to the comic that were "professional" : 1. The first Garfield 2. The first Life in Hell (by Matt Groening)
- What's your point?
- Uh, I can think of two instances of characters welcoming the reader to the comic that were "professional" : 1. The first Garfield 2. The first Life in Hell (by Matt Groening) Don't know about the "Life in Hell" comic, but at least the Garfield one had another joke (The cat saying "Feed Me"). Also, it wasn't such a huge cliche back then. It's like if a band released an album and the first track said, "There was supposed to be a song here, but we didn't get around to making it yet. But welcome to our CD! Maybe by Track 2, there will be a song, and if not, definitely by Track 3." On the subject of her fanart: http://www.kismetropolis.com/gallery/v/KMT-Indigo/dd/abti_may2005-domcelesto2.jpg.html What is going on here? It's physically impossible for hands to do that from that position of the arms, and WHY are they doing that? Also, I and some people I know who have been following this blog find it a little strange that no one's yet pointed out how much Dominic Deegan looks like an "animu" version of Harry Potter, sans the lightning bolt. Also, how is it even possible to make CTRL+ALT+DEL fanart?? Aren't they basically the most generic character designs ever? http://www.kismetropolis.com/gallery/v/KMT-Indigo/CAD/cad-ethancircle.gif.html If you looked at the bottom of this below the robot head, would you even know that's what this is supposed to be?
- I don't know that I'd hold Garfield up as a shining example of excellence in the comics arts...
- Clearly, in the universe of her imagination, Dominic Deegan and his friend have giant mutant hands, and it would be disrespectful to leave them out.
- A little something for Esther.
- http://www.reallifecomics.com/ please review this shit one day john. pretty please.
- Hey guys! Remember what happened when you kept asking for a Megatokyo review? Yeah. It's fine to point out terrible webcomics, but don't beg, plead or cajole. It's moronic, fanshipper-y and simply goddamn annoying.
- Oh fine.
- http://www.reallifecomics.com/ :¬U My God, it's even lazier than Ctrl+Alt+Del.
- hay lili u shuld rite somthn bout no pink ponies lol
- http://www.nuklearpower.com/ THE UNHOLY GRAIL OF BAD WEBCOMICS EPISODE 900 AN ANCIENT EVIL THAT WILL NOT DIE
- I think some of the guys begging for more high-profile webcomic reviews just miss the days of indignant fanboys. There's certain things you get out of reviewing a horrible webcomic that countless dorks have in their favorites list that you just can't get from the obscure comics. With obscure garbage, we get a scathing review - but with well-known garbage, we get that, and ripples of Drama surging through the entire Internet. The guys determined to trick the writers of this blog into the back of a van (by promising them a radio interview) didn't start cyber-stalking them because they reviewed and obscure comic. That sort of crazyness starts over reviews of big, crazy, well-known comics, with big, crazy, self-contained communities. I don't think this blog exists only to steer people away from bad comics (meaning it's pointless to review webcomics everyone knows suck). Odds are, the people who found Kismetropolis and didn't realize it was crap from the beginning won't be convinced by a review. I don't come here to listen to some guy tell me if I should or shouldn't like a specific comic. Odds are, most of the fans even worth a damn don't either. "Hmmm - is this a good comic - or a bad comic? Gosh! I just don't know! I wish John Solomon would tell me what to think!" Please. I come here to watch a guy (or several guys and one girl) put the vague disgust rational people feel when they see these comics into concrete words - and stay for the drama. ... Still, you're right. You guys don't owe your "fans" a damn thing. We're here for free entertainment. Getting demanding is bad form - and the fact that some just don't get it is one of the big problems with fans as a whole. All we can do is wait - but it'd still be neat to see you guys kick another giant nest of fanboy-hornets.
- I can understand that you don't like the comic and have not seen much improvement over time. I'll admit that I've seen the same. However, it's classless to just bash Indigo like that. You don't know her, don't know how nice and considerate a person she is, and that she genuinely enjoys what she does. I was in the Interact comic collective with her years ago, and came to know that she's a good person and doesn't deserve to be called such cruel things said about her. I was never really a fan of Indigo's work myself, but she always showed class and composure, even when she got bashed. That's more than can be said about pretty much any cartoonist, print or web. And so what if she takes commisions? If you can make a little money doing sketches, then what's the big deal. It's not like the economy is roaring; I take commisions where I can get them since college is damn expensive. John, I've been following your blog, man, and I'm gonna give some feedback. The critic can't be immune to critisism, right? The personal attacks gotta stop. They take away so much from the articles you write. You write thoughtful, well-articulated (albeit vulgar and base at times)essays on why these comics are bad, explaining individual mistakes, patterns of error, and highlight things to avoid at all costs. It's actually educational in its own way, but then you bash the creator...and then it goes downhill into a childish name-calling barrge. The borderline-professionalism just seems to go out the door on that. It has been so bad at times that it feels like you just quoted from your comments page, and that just seems to hurt you. If you want the people you target to take these articles more seriously, and to take your words to heart, then go with more actual critisism. I also know Chris, who does Cartridge Comics, and your entry there did reach him. (That "Get dick cancer" insult was way out of line, John; he was responding honestly and politely and didn't deserve that.) He's done some major work on his art, changing the style and making some big strides in that respect, so yes - you are reaching people, John. And you know what? You could probably reach even more of your highlighted creators by simply being focusing on the work and being more civil; it does wonders. At least think about that. You can't reach them all, but you most certainly could reach more of them by simply reserving the lion's share of your bile for the comics themselves.
- Goddamn it, why do you have to give the rest of us Seans a bad name?
- Hah! That's utter crap. Being civil does not do wonders. If this blog didn't do what it did, it wouldn't have the audience it does now. It'd be ignored and forgotten. It'd have no value as entertainment on its own (and many of us come here for that). It'd also have no value as critisism, because everyone would ignore it. "Oh, gosh - my, you are certainly a very nice person, and you have a wonderful comic! I just have some teeeensy weeeensy advise for you! ^__^ It'll make your comic neat-o!" People ignore junk like that. The kind of people who don't - the kind of people who care about their work - those people don't make garbage like this in the first place. If you want nice, polite, innoffensive critisism - take a goddamn writing/art cource at your community college. They'll be nice, polite, and supportive, as they struggle to find polite ways to say "that story/picture of yours sucked, and you really need to improve!" The moment you subject the public to your work, you need to be ready to deal with people who aren't nice. Even if you are a "good person", this junk still insults countless people who bothered to get good before subjecting the public to their trash.
- How's it going, Scott? What are you doing here?
- While I do agree with Sean that some of the personal attacks go too far, I believe these review MUST be vulgar, rude, and brutally honest. Trying to be civil will bring this blog one step closer to the level of douchiness that is Robert Howard. It's a slippery slope from where a reviewer tries to see something good in a piece of crap to where they completely bs themselves into seeing something good when there really isn't anything of merit. In the end, when someone makes a webcomic that's BAD, they should be made to FEEL bad. Or else this blog completely misses the point.
- About the 'take a writing or art course at a community college if you want asspats' remark: I can't possibly begin to tell you how true that is. I took one about a year ago, with the intense hope that I would get some truly useful criticism. In fact, I attempted to prepare myself for the possibility that I would be insulted in the course of the... course. Now, I'm not saying that I'm an incredible writer that would put Hemingway to shame, but a chorus of "wow, you're so good" doesn't mean anything when everyone's slobbering all over utter pieces of crap. Are we so delicate that we can't take real live criticism?
- I have just found out that Mookie is coming to Houston for OniCon '07. He is a guest. What should I do?? Assasination attempt?? Public Humiliation?? Discussion of orc rape?? Give me some ideas.
- In the real visual arts world, i.e. not the webcomics world for the most part, both professional critics and potential buyers are absolutely fucking BRUTAL with their criticism. Like it, lump it, or fuck it six ways from Sunday--that's just the way it is. Professional artists, and those aspiring to be, simply accept that when they offer their work for public appraisal, there will be those who take one look at it and say, "This is shit. Moving on." Same way that people in advertising accept that a prospective client may take one look at a pitch that took two weeks of overtime and benzedrine to produce and say, "This is shit. You don't get the account." That's the way the world is. If you still don't understand, Sean, then try this: Wish for a world full of kind, gentle, 100% positive "critics" on one hand; shit in the other hand, and see which fills up first.
- re: sean What John and his band of merry misanthropes are doing here is a case of tough love. They have to be brutal so that the various webcomics winos of the internet will learn the error of their ways and repent.
- While I do agree with Sean that some of the personal attacks go too far, I believe these review MUST be vulgar, rude, and brutally honest. I agree on the "brutally honest" part. But as far as "vulgar" and "rude" go, I must part company with Silentp. You can make your point and even be entertaining without being a total jerkface. Frankly, I enjoyed Ted David's review of Abstract Gender from last week--the criticism was incisive, substantiated, and not weighed down with any juvenile name-calling. I also enjoyed the review of Pastel Defender Heliotrope, and it's not without import that Solomon made it a point to refrain from the personal digs in that review and stick to the comic instead. He simply pointed it out for the incoherent, poorly-paced, crudely-drawn mess that it is, and he did so with clever turns of phrase that made the review entertaining to read. I keep coming back to this blog because there's food for thought here, and when a review targets a comic I've enjoyed, I take notice and consider the arguments. The engaging criticism far and away outweighs the needlessly acerbic "ad-hominem" bullcrap. Well, until this review, anyway.
- The engaging criticism far and away outweighs the needlessly acerbic "ad-hominem" bullcrap. Well, until this review, anyway. Are you confusing the comments section with the review? Because I really just don't see any particular ad hominem attacks going on in the review itself. Anything said in the vein of "she is terrible" is said specifically to refer to her art or her writing. But then, even in the comments section, the attacks on her character are vague and pretty mild compared to the way that say, Kurtz or Buckley or Mookie or Brew have all been attacked (deservedly or not). I mean, hippie flower child? Deluded fangirl? Shit, these are all terms she uses to describe herself. So where is all this finger-wagging butthurt suddenly coming from?
- Oh what the shit?! http://www.lookwhatibroughthome.com/ This probably isn't even worth your time, but it might be the most horrible webcomic I've ever seen, and it's been going on since Nineteen-Ninety-fucking-Nine. What the fuck, indeed.
- But... But Forerunneru-chan is so honorable...
- Sean said... Wahh wahhh I am butthurt don't insult people Hello, welcome to the Internet. I take it you haven't been here long, so here's some advice: Stop being a pansy.
- Sean,you do realize there is an awful lot of people out there that know how to draw and give away sketches for free,right?
- "How's it going, Scott? What are you doing here?" NUTTIN MUCH U? I LURK ON JOHN'S BLOG I SEEK TO BECOME THE NEW CREATRIX, JOHN WILL TAKE ME THERE
- My own efforts at drawing comics are nothing great... but seriously, this woman NEEDS to learn how to use a freaking text balloon. She has some pages where there's no way I she could have thought the text was legible, but she puts it up anyway. And yeah, the unrelenting gray scale doesn't help matters any. Ugh.
- Hey, Solomon. You should review Broken Mirror and Jesslyn Stormheart soon.
- Meanwhile, after Friday's anomalous attempt to move the plot forward over at Questionable Content, we're right back to the interminable yammerdämmerung, and Marten continues to demonstrate what a reprehensible pussy he is. Guess he couldn't fit into those ridiculous jeans if he had any balls to speak of. Why the FUCK do I read this thing? I also made the mistake of checking Wapsi Square today. Yes, that's just what this comic needed, ANOTHER stupid, preposterous plot twist that bears no relation to anything that's come before it. Taylor's writing is to coherent, compelling storytelling what a Jenga tower is to the Golden Gate bridge, and I swear he's been making the whole thing up as he goes along. Should make for a good trainwreck at the end, though.
- Meanwhile, after Friday's anomalous attempt to move the plot forward over at Questionable Content, we're right back to the interminable yammerdämmerung So it seems. Contrary to what Winston Churchill said, to "jaw-jaw" isn't always better than to "war-war."
- Hey, Solomon. You should review Broken Mirror and Jesslyn Stormheart soon. Someone's a lurker.
- I never said not to be brutal when criticizing the work; if it sucks, then by all means, be honest and go to town. I know how vicious the professional art world is - but I can't remember ever once a watching or reading a crit where the reviewer gives ten minutes or half a page of fat jokes, or tells an artist to get dick cancer. There are plenty who tell artists to quit, but I've not seen one who tells them to die a slow death. If there was a reviewer in the professional art world like that, chances are they wouldn't be taken seriously by anyone, artists or their peers. They would see that reviewer as worthless, much like gordon who posted earlier. He's a great example, as he contributes nothing to the conversation. What I'm saying is, attacking the artist as a person does little to nothing when it comes to critiquing the work. There's nothing wrong with showing a little class; it won't impede you from tearing apart bad comics. You can still be a brutally honest asshole, but it's almost a waste of time to bash the actual person behind the comic - they're not what comes up on the screen. (Unless it's some shitty photo comic.) Oh, and too whoever made the comment about people who can draw and give sketches for free - yes, I do know; I did Connecticon a year ago, and I gave out quite a few free sketches. I did take some cheap commisions in between that, though.
- It was one paragraph of fat jokes to get them out of my system so I wouldn't end up spending half the review on the subject of Kurtz's colossal mass. I said exactly as much. Do you people even read what I write, or do you just pay attention to what people like Robert A. Howard say and go with that?
- Besides, dick cancer is hilarious.
- I see this eerie parallel with the behavior of the webcomic community and how Scientology handles criticism. http://www.xenu.net/archive/go/philosop.htm
- If a review contains actual, legitimate, undeniable criticism, then anyone who writes that off just because the critic was a big fat meanie about it is still an idiot.
- THE FALLACIES OF SCIENTOLOGY UNCOVERED READ ALL ABOUT IT IN JOHN SOLOMON'S WEBCOMICS BLOG
- In addition: that bloody "monkey bread" strip. "Okay, so monkey bread doesn't contain monkeys (or bananas tee hee!)"....so why call it fucking monkey bread, then, you pathetic "lolz RANDUM!!!!!111" tosser? Also, anyone cumming over that VG Cats strip deserves to be shot.
- Ha, ha! Look what I found! Read all the posts where Indigo argues about Meredith's Blog not being very helpful to her and how she boasts about being self-thought and how she managed to refine her "art" through self-improvement. And how she found out how to do word baloons without "killing her art". What art? Whatever it is she's doing it surely needs killing. If she thinks that anything she does and has taught herself comes even CLOSE to Meredith's art who actually went to art school then she's fucking delusional... It's fucking priceless! P.S. It's SO sad and annoying that the people who make bad webcomics not only produce heaps of garbage but seem to be narcissistic assholes who think that their "shit don't stink". Also - so much for the "she might be a nice person" theory.
- "In addition: that bloody "monkey bread" strip. "Okay, so monkey bread doesn't contain monkeys (or bananas tee hee!)"....so why call it fucking monkey bread, then, you pathetic "lolz RANDUM!!!!!111" tosser?" It's a known snack/dessert; Google "monkey bread".
- Oh, and too whoever made the comment about people who can draw and give sketches for free - yes, I do know; I did Connecticon a year ago, and I gave out quite a few free sketches. I did take some cheap commisions in between that, though. Yeah that was me,sorry.I didnt really want to sound that offensive. What somewhat bothers me is that although I do not particularly fancy myself an able artist,I've done plenty of stuff over the years much superior to this author's with pen,paper and improvisation and have never ever once charged for them (unless you count the ocassional smoochie)
- I've done plenty of stuff over the years much superior to this author's Don't say things like this. Down this road lies the Indigo madness.
- You're right Tehkou! Still,it feels as if I had my 3 year old nephew draw pictures of his family and his house and then I charged people 30 dollars for them...
- I don't get it. I mean, if you look past the fact that it sucks, then you could see the true "inner beauty" of this comic just like the characters do. Obviously it's not meant for you.
- Jamie Kingston is http://indigoskynet.livejournal.com/
- Her screen name is Indigo, but her real name is actually Roxanne. She refuses to go by it, though, and I think she hates her parents. She hates Sting because of this (due to the Police song) and thinks that no one had it harder with teasing than she did.
- A college course on writing will get you ass-pats - but at least it'll expose you to some people (hopefully the teacher among them) that'll try really, really hard to convince you to stop sucking without being too rude. They'll vaguely hint that purple prose is bad (not that YOU do it, of course!) - vaguely suggest that originality is about more than shuffling some names around (but your work was very good, anyway!), and they'll nudge you towards making coherent sense (but, of course, your Stream of Thought style of writing totally works too!...) Crap like this comic comes from people that didn't even do that.
- If there was a reviewer in the professional art world like that, chances are they wouldn't be taken seriously by anyone, artists or their peers. Yes but this is the internet, and exaggeration is funny. And fun to write. So go get dick cancer.
- Her screen name is Indigo, but her real name is actually Roxanne. She refuses to go by it, though, and I think she hates her parents. She hates Sting because of this (due to the Police song) and thinks that no one had it harder with teasing than she did. Was this all in her LJ? Because all I saw there was your standard fangirl type stuff.
- ...I've seen this girl. She posts on the Dominic Deegan Livejournal. And she snarks at any criticism of it. And her icons are ugly. I mean, Lord, even animu eyes aren't supposed to be that huge. Or so close together! Even if you want to draw animu at least get the basics down! Geez.
- John Solomon is Charlie Brooker.
