I promised I'd do a Megatokyo review, so here it isn't! People bitched too much about the hiatus I was taking due to work. Fuck 'em and fuck you. Instead I'm going to talk about Weird Comix, which should belong here just for spelling "comics" with an X.
If you've just clicked that link, do me a favour and ignore it for the time being. Just do it. We shall begin our sordid tale where we always do, at the beginning. Let's count off the crimes, briefly: Comic Sans, sparkly animu eyes, background probably the result of running a GIS result through many filters, the joke is just "main character hurts himself", inclusion of Death because it's so "random", abysmal speech bubble use, main character is the author's self-insertion.
What surprised me, oddly enough, is that the second strip is actually worse.
Yes, if you've gone on ahead and read through more than a few strips, you'll have seen that the art gets better while everything else gets worse. But while good writing can save bad art, good art can do nothing to salvage terrible writing. There are a multitude of sins that Kyle Mistry, the cause of this fucking shitty webcomic, has done. The self-insertion character is one of them, and the most prevalent in this. He draws himself as a wai wai supaa-katana tensai. A lot. An awful lot. In fact, the only thing that stops that from being three straight comics where the only "joke" is that Kyle Mistry has a sword (lmao roffles how awesome) is this strip, where instead a cinderblock is used.
It's almost painful to read, and I don't mean the girl's dialogue, though I suppose that's the ham-fisted intention. No, it's the whole thing. Oh, that Kyle, always getting irritated by promiscuous college girls and their shameful overindulgence in drink and drugs! Only his webcomic can express his otherwise impotent, bottled-up rage. Why, if those girls saw his e-rebuttal to their lifestyle that he strongly disapproves of, they may change their ways! Unlikely, Kyle. They may be dumb, but they're not fucking retarded.
This is the same kind of pathetic soapboxing that Carlos G did with Lowroad. In fact, the two share many similarities. Huge balloon tits aren't one of them, sorry to disappoint the creepy perverts in the audience. Kyle rages against all manner of machines, and the punchline is always the same: comedy violence that isn't comical in the slightest. Wiggers? Rattlesnake. Windows? Eye-gouging. Also an axe. Paris Hilton? Harsh words. Well, not that harsh, since Mr. Mistry is incapable of marshalling his discontent into anything damning or witty. It continues, with violence or supposedly "witty" remarks against anything Kyle Mistry disapproves of, including strangers and especially rap.
One only wonders when it will all prove too much and we have another school shooting. You can't deal with that much loathing through only one outlet. Especially since when he's not gnashing his teeth over not being able to even mumble some mild disapproval in reality (and then hastily deny it when someone asks him if he said something) he's making fucking terrible shit which I think is meant to be jokes. Laser Santa? The obligatory appearance of Jesus because messiah = comedy gold? Boxed Soldier? I think that someone is trying too hard to be Jhonen Vasquez, and for once it's not Carlos G. Why the fuck would a soldier wear a cape, anyway?
Of course, in making the "Boxed Soldier" a recurring character, Kyle Mistry has joined the hallowed halls of a webcomic elite. He rubs shoulders with Scott Ramsoomair and Greg Dean now, as part of the fraternity of webcomic jerks who turned shitty one-trick alter egos into recurring characters that just got even more painfully unfunny each time they appeared. Although since none of them were ever anything but painfully unfunny, it's hard to accurately gauge that.
That's also some utterly superb use of Internet clichés, too. A ninja and a pirate? Oh my, sir, you shall have the gentleman's club popping their monocles for this brave and daring use of archetypes that hath ne'er been dared before in the realms of webcomickery! Then there's the obligatory "I AM WEBCOMIC GOD" that all self-absorbed yet pathetically lonely webcomic jerks have to use. It's like you're hearing Kyle Mistry himself as he sobs "I'm not friendless! I have a whole webcomic of friends!"
This webcomic is stupid, stupid, stupid. Yes, we get it, you hate people and you're such a spineless pansy the only way you can work out your numerous issues is through the magic of your mediocre doodles. Yes, we get it, your grasp of pop culture is so slim that you think Pac-Man goes "wagga wagga" and you can't even draw Abraham Lincoln properly. And yes, yes, we get that you love drawing yourself committing acts of violence against those who have wronged you in a stop-gap measure to delay your inevitable murder-suicide. If I didn't know better, I'd say that Kyle Mistry was a satire of all the other webcomic jerks who do this. But sadly this is not so.
There was even a glimmer of hope when I reached this strip, when I thought "Is he going to admit his webcomic is shit, like when he abandoned that awful animu style?" No, he apparently thinks his webcomic was becoming a gaming webcomic. Becoming? No, it's always been one, Mistry. It's always been shit, too, maybe you should consider fixing that as well. Besides, if you really cared about becoming a gaming webcomic, STOP DOING SHIT ABOUT VIDEO GAMES.
The best part is his latest "Boxed Soldier" storyline seems to be directed against 4chan, who may have slighted him in some way and now must face some epic fictional violence that is just too overwhelming for their token strawman resistance. But that doesn't stop him from using their memes, including this strip which seems less like an attempt to charge lazors and more like racism disguised as lazor-chargin'. All the strips that depict black people as knuckle-dragging subhumans obsessed with rap certainly lend weight to that argument. Before you point out how he draws himself as a black guy, I give you dubious evidence that his surname denotes him to be of Indian descent. Brown, rather than black. The other dark meat.
Weird Comix is basically another VG Cats. It's fairly nice to look at, if you ignore the reliance on the same handful of bland, "wacky" expressions that don't express anything clearly. But it's just not funny, or intelligent, or anything but a monumental waste of time for you to look at. I defy you to look through the whole site and find something that entertains you enough to excuse the shameless money-grubbing Paypal link that's on every page, clamouring for five bucks for a shitty wallpaper that will have your friends and family saying "You paid for this?"
Kyle Mistry, your webcomic is a pile of shit. Not only that, but the vast majority of your other stuff is fairly shit as well. Stick with the Web 2.0 crap, at least that's passable. Damn sight better than your attempts at drawing people, too. But I think it'd probably be for the best if you decided to give in to that urge to go on a shooting spree that's obviously building up inside you and then topped yourself before the cops could take you down themselves. It'd probably be looked back upon more favourably than Weird Comix, to be honest.
If you've just clicked that link, do me a favour and ignore it for the time being. Just do it. We shall begin our sordid tale where we always do, at the beginning. Let's count off the crimes, briefly: Comic Sans, sparkly animu eyes, background probably the result of running a GIS result through many filters, the joke is just "main character hurts himself", inclusion of Death because it's so "random", abysmal speech bubble use, main character is the author's self-insertion.
What surprised me, oddly enough, is that the second strip is actually worse.
Yes, if you've gone on ahead and read through more than a few strips, you'll have seen that the art gets better while everything else gets worse. But while good writing can save bad art, good art can do nothing to salvage terrible writing. There are a multitude of sins that Kyle Mistry, the cause of this fucking shitty webcomic, has done. The self-insertion character is one of them, and the most prevalent in this. He draws himself as a wai wai supaa-katana tensai. A lot. An awful lot. In fact, the only thing that stops that from being three straight comics where the only "joke" is that Kyle Mistry has a sword (lmao roffles how awesome) is this strip, where instead a cinderblock is used.
It's almost painful to read, and I don't mean the girl's dialogue, though I suppose that's the ham-fisted intention. No, it's the whole thing. Oh, that Kyle, always getting irritated by promiscuous college girls and their shameful overindulgence in drink and drugs! Only his webcomic can express his otherwise impotent, bottled-up rage. Why, if those girls saw his e-rebuttal to their lifestyle that he strongly disapproves of, they may change their ways! Unlikely, Kyle. They may be dumb, but they're not fucking retarded.
This is the same kind of pathetic soapboxing that Carlos G did with Lowroad. In fact, the two share many similarities. Huge balloon tits aren't one of them, sorry to disappoint the creepy perverts in the audience. Kyle rages against all manner of machines, and the punchline is always the same: comedy violence that isn't comical in the slightest. Wiggers? Rattlesnake. Windows? Eye-gouging. Also an axe. Paris Hilton? Harsh words. Well, not that harsh, since Mr. Mistry is incapable of marshalling his discontent into anything damning or witty. It continues, with violence or supposedly "witty" remarks against anything Kyle Mistry disapproves of, including strangers and especially rap.
One only wonders when it will all prove too much and we have another school shooting. You can't deal with that much loathing through only one outlet. Especially since when he's not gnashing his teeth over not being able to even mumble some mild disapproval in reality (and then hastily deny it when someone asks him if he said something) he's making fucking terrible shit which I think is meant to be jokes. Laser Santa? The obligatory appearance of Jesus because messiah = comedy gold? Boxed Soldier? I think that someone is trying too hard to be Jhonen Vasquez, and for once it's not Carlos G. Why the fuck would a soldier wear a cape, anyway?
Of course, in making the "Boxed Soldier" a recurring character, Kyle Mistry has joined the hallowed halls of a webcomic elite. He rubs shoulders with Scott Ramsoomair and Greg Dean now, as part of the fraternity of webcomic jerks who turned shitty one-trick alter egos into recurring characters that just got even more painfully unfunny each time they appeared. Although since none of them were ever anything but painfully unfunny, it's hard to accurately gauge that.
That's also some utterly superb use of Internet clichés, too. A ninja and a pirate? Oh my, sir, you shall have the gentleman's club popping their monocles for this brave and daring use of archetypes that hath ne'er been dared before in the realms of webcomickery! Then there's the obligatory "I AM WEBCOMIC GOD" that all self-absorbed yet pathetically lonely webcomic jerks have to use. It's like you're hearing Kyle Mistry himself as he sobs "I'm not friendless! I have a whole webcomic of friends!"
This webcomic is stupid, stupid, stupid. Yes, we get it, you hate people and you're such a spineless pansy the only way you can work out your numerous issues is through the magic of your mediocre doodles. Yes, we get it, your grasp of pop culture is so slim that you think Pac-Man goes "wagga wagga" and you can't even draw Abraham Lincoln properly. And yes, yes, we get that you love drawing yourself committing acts of violence against those who have wronged you in a stop-gap measure to delay your inevitable murder-suicide. If I didn't know better, I'd say that Kyle Mistry was a satire of all the other webcomic jerks who do this. But sadly this is not so.
There was even a glimmer of hope when I reached this strip, when I thought "Is he going to admit his webcomic is shit, like when he abandoned that awful animu style?" No, he apparently thinks his webcomic was becoming a gaming webcomic. Becoming? No, it's always been one, Mistry. It's always been shit, too, maybe you should consider fixing that as well. Besides, if you really cared about becoming a gaming webcomic, STOP DOING SHIT ABOUT VIDEO GAMES.
The best part is his latest "Boxed Soldier" storyline seems to be directed against 4chan, who may have slighted him in some way and now must face some epic fictional violence that is just too overwhelming for their token strawman resistance. But that doesn't stop him from using their memes, including this strip which seems less like an attempt to charge lazors and more like racism disguised as lazor-chargin'. All the strips that depict black people as knuckle-dragging subhumans obsessed with rap certainly lend weight to that argument. Before you point out how he draws himself as a black guy, I give you dubious evidence that his surname denotes him to be of Indian descent. Brown, rather than black. The other dark meat.
Weird Comix is basically another VG Cats. It's fairly nice to look at, if you ignore the reliance on the same handful of bland, "wacky" expressions that don't express anything clearly. But it's just not funny, or intelligent, or anything but a monumental waste of time for you to look at. I defy you to look through the whole site and find something that entertains you enough to excuse the shameless money-grubbing Paypal link that's on every page, clamouring for five bucks for a shitty wallpaper that will have your friends and family saying "You paid for this?"
Kyle Mistry, your webcomic is a pile of shit. Not only that, but the vast majority of your other stuff is fairly shit as well. Stick with the Web 2.0 crap, at least that's passable. Damn sight better than your attempts at drawing people, too. But I think it'd probably be for the best if you decided to give in to that urge to go on a shooting spree that's obviously building up inside you and then topped yourself before the cops could take you down themselves. It'd probably be looked back upon more favourably than Weird Comix, to be honest.
105 comments:
- Why the fuck would he make an entire "chargin' mah lazor" strip? Memes are inherently not funny, because there is no joke. Ever. I suppose that is a very minor complaint compared to the rest of the comic, though.
- I hadn't seen your e-mail included anywhere, but I thought I might want to pass along another PG13 transgender piece of shit that just might be worse than anything you've ever reviewed: www.misfile.com
- That's a pretty big claim, considering what I've reviewed. Probably inaccurate as well, considering what I've reviewed. It's already on my list, anyway.
- this strip should just be renamed "impotent child rage." he's racist, he's sexist, but worst of all, he's a fan of kingdom hearts.
- But where would the X go?
- "If I didn't know better, I'd say that Kyle Mistry was a satire of all the other webcomic jerks who do this. But sadly this is not so." My lord, this is EXACTLY what I was thinking. This would be a perfect parody of that narcissistic webcomic persona. "Hey, you annoy me and I don't agree with you. WHY DON'T I GET A DANGEROUS WEAPON AND MAIM YOU RUTHLESSLY." Not only is it not funny, but quite frankly, it's pretty disturbing.
- Man, it's like if Shredded Moose was written by an angry, self-rightous racist nerd instead of a mysogynistic, sex-obsessed frat boy.
- Why must you do this to me, Solomon? My hatred for CAD and Fuckley was untouched, but you give me something worse to despise?
- You know what? I know it doesn't cater to any sick fetishes or whatnot, and it isn't popular enough to have had a truly damaging influence on the face of webcomics like a few others... But fuck it. This is the worst comic I've seen on YWiBaYSFB. How do you even find this shit?
- XxXImPoTeNtChIlDrAgExX, maybe?
- Damn. This comic (once he drops the bizarre floating-body parts style) may be the first one you've reviewed that has some actual artistic flare. I mean, he's got a long way to go, but this is really of a much higher artistic quality than VG Cats. I can even forgive his total inability to draw women (even stylistically) for the fact that he actually tries to draw scenes from multiple camera angles. But then you actually read the writing, and it's just so bad, it completely manages to cancel out all of what is good about the art and still carry it into negative integers. I mean, this guy is just really fucked up. It kind of makes me sad. And also scared.
- Not to detract from the shithole that is Weird Comix, (and it is a pretty big one at that), but have any of you noticed that panel2panel now has a webcomic reviewer that rips into webcomics? Yes, apparently Robert A. Howard loves John Solomon so much that he (or whoever runs the website) has hired his very own John Solomon. Three guesses as to who this guy bashed within his first few posts. Here is the address if you want to check it out: http://bleep.panel2panel.com/bleep-index.html As you can see, this Poor Man's John Solomon (and by poor, I mean homeless) fails at his job, since pretty much every review he writes veers off into praise.
- This guy's got issues and not enough artistic talent to bring them into his work with a little bit of flair. Or something. His biggest issue seems to be that everyone calls him a nerd and laughs at him. Gee, I wonder why that might be? Oh yes. Because he thinks that the type of OS one uses says something about one as a person. Sheesh. OS fanboys ... My bet is that this guy is somewhere around the 16 to 19 age range. We can hope he grows out of it or finds someone who'll write a decent story for him and tells him that SUPER SHINY SHINY colouring hurts people's retinas. Or we can point and laugh at him and hope he gets the hint.
- This is like looking through the notebook of some art fag who got picked on by jocks. Seriously, the whole "murdering anyone who disagrees with you even slightly" schtick wears thin after, I dunno, the first fucking panel? The great thing about this comic; though, is he will inevitably do a comic wherein he will kill "John Sololame" and it will be a gloriously pathetic train wreck.
- Man, it's like a nerdy Gen-Y "They'll Do It Every Time." "Can't Live With 'Em Dpt.--You always hear dames jawin' about wanting RESPECT, like they think they're HUMAN...But when you turn around, some of 'em are spending their FREE TIME in ways you don't approve of! Howzat? They even brag about it to their dirty slut friends who'll touch everyone but you. Oh, you can CRY and you can BEG, but they'll just laugh, laugh like they know secrets they'll never tell you. Oh, yeah! I'm so-o-o-o lonely..." Okay, it got kind of off track there at the end. But I think if you add a little arrow to the last panel with the caption THE URGE TO BEAT HER WHORE BRAINS OUT WITH A CINDERBLOCK, you can see the similarities.
- Misfile is fine. So what if it's a transgender comic. At least it's readable, because unlike, say, The Wotch, they don't switch genders left and right and it's actually a part of the premise, not a running gag. And it has cars. Woo!
- >Misfile is fine. It's fetishist trash illustrated with generic anime.
- This post has been removed by the author.
- The art gets super good in the latest comics. Really, really, messed up stories though.
- >fetishist trash No, El Goonish Shive and The Wotch are fetishist trash. They actually make Misfile look GOOD.
- Oh Robert A. Howard of Tangents (by Robert A. Howard), what won't you do to fail so utterly hard?
- Misfile's not great, but there are definitely far worse comics out there. Oh, Weird Comix. "HAHAHAHAHA LOOK AT ME I RIP BABIES APART AND THEY SHOOT BEEEEEEES!!! I AM SUCH A RANDOM BADASS FUCK YEAH!!!" Fucking hell. I'd hope 4chan would take him out but I doubt this shit is worth Anonymous's time.
- This strip defines the "You're not wacky, you're a sociopath" character. The sad part is, his art is pretty good. He understands shading, multiple angles and the small details that make things look right. If only his huge fucking ego wasn't in the way, he might be able to team with a good writer and make a good comic.
- John, please pick better targets. Weird Comix may not be great but the note on the front page says the kid is still in high school. He's done almost a hundred comics, it's something he obviously enjoys doing, and he's too young to have developed his own sense of storytelling or humor yet. Why go after a child? You don't have to like his stuff but he's not even legal yet - cut him some slack for the time and effort he's put into it.
- Anonymous: It's a public service. Not only for us, but for Mistry. John is attempting to soften the impact of the kid finding out how much he sucks. If he stops making this shitty, shitty comic now, he will be spared the embarrassment of finding out how little talent he has when he gets to the real world outside of high school. Then again, I would be interested to see how badly he would fail if he tried to pass this crap off in some mixed media class in art school.
- Yaaaaa! John Solomon is back with another review!!! Fuck you fuck you fuck you! Bad comic! fuck you! fuck! fuck! YOU ROCK DUDE:D
- John, please pick better targets. Weird Comix may not be great but the note on the front page says the kid is still in high school. Please read the title of this blog. Then read the quote underneath, the one on the orange background. Because I have a sneaking suspicion you haven't.
- Webcomics: Repercussions of Evil John Solomon waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were webcomic writers in the base. He didn't see them, but had expected them now for years. His warnings to the internet were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway. John was a bad web comic reviewer for fourteen years. When he was young he watched the webcomics and he said to dad "I want to write about horrible webcomics daddy!" Dad said "No! You will GET INSULTED BY THE FANBASE" There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now in the internet base of the webcomicverse he knew there were webcomic writers. "This is the internet" the radio crackered. "You must fight the webcomic writers!" So John gotted his word processor and typed on his computer. "HE GOING TO SAY BAD THINGS ABOUT US" said the webcomic writers "I will insult him" said the retarded fanbase and he started spamming his comments page. John typed at him and tried to delete his comment. But then the server crashed and they were disconnected and not able to insult him. "No! I must write about the webcomic writers" he shouted The radio said "No, John. You are the webcomic writers" And then John was Mookie.
- What surprises me the most is how this review was much more polished. It made the horror of reading through that shit-fest(Weird Comix) all the more fun. Good art should never be used as an excuse to make a shitty comic. Oh, and keep working. If there are 2 things in life worth working for is Hookers and Blow. Not sure in which order, though.
- "John, please pick better targets. Weird Comix may not be great but the note on the front page says the kid is still in high school." the "kid" (he's applying to colleges so he may very well be 18, as if that matters) draws comic after comic where he murders people who represent those he hates and fears in real life. these comics are posted on the internet for everyone to see. HE HAS NO FUTURE
- Webcomics: Repercussions of Evil ... And then John was Mookie. Are you trying to insult John with this passage or is this some bizarre, post-modern, double-ironic parody of John's critics? 'Cause if it is, you suck! And if it isn't, you still suck!
- Why go after a child? The child in question drew himself accusing women who have sex of being whores, then punishing them by breaking their skulls with cinder blocks. Call me crazy, but maybe that deserves a little criticism.
- Dan-Lurk moar. That there be a copypasta of a crappy fanfic, that was originally about space demons (or the cold war. I'm not sure.) If you have seen the original, you'd get it.
- ^ sorry, that was directed at the wrong poster. Not meant to say dan but Anonymous. My bad.
- sorry to disappoint the creepy perverts in the audience I accept your apology.
- Behold, the only comic in the entire Weird Comix archives that I consider salvagable. The art's nothing great, but it's a surprisingly decent premise/punchline. Yes, I have gone through almost all of the archives now. I am a bored, sad man. Question - does anybody know if this comic has an actual fanbase? Like, do people love and worship this comic? Because I just can't see how they could.
- "Webcomics: Repercussions of Evil" Probably the best shitty Doom fanfic reference of the day. This is why I come here. As for Weird Comix itself, I really hope that the guy just takes himself out rather than anyone else. *shrugs* I guess I just care about humanity too much.
- haha, oh man, I just finished reading all of your entries, and I gotta agree that their painfully true. If at all possible I'd like to request that you review the trainwreck that is Looking for Group. The characters are so extremely cookie-cutter that it kinda overshadows everything else, including the cookie-cutter plotline. Oh man! The mage is EVIL! He just likes killing things! That's so original and fresh, no wonder every single person on their forums is obsessed with him... and that's just one character. It's kinda like 8-bit theater without the funny (some comics are nearly identical to 8-bit oens). The only merit is the art, but that really can't save it. I suppose it's good if you want cookies or something. http://lfgcomic.com/
- Rez. Shut up.
- Webcomics: Repercussions of Evil ... And then John was Mookie. 4chan meme. Read the original here
- you're right btw, Mistry is an Indian surname, and as an Indian, I apologize : (
- John Solomon, how could you possibly ignore Power Chord this long? It's a total sack of rat shit, and if that's not enough, He can't take criticism. Take this gem, for example: these guys would rather tear apart things people enjoy and what some people put a lot of work and effort into, rather than being productive and focusing on what they actually do like. This guy is asking for it.
- 4chan meme. Read the original here Oh... damn. Guess I'm the one who sucks. Thanks for the enlightenment, jared.
- The random violence is very reminiscent of Men in Hats. Except that I find Men in Hats funny. Maybe it's because in Men in Hats, it's just violence for the sake of violence (example: here) instead of making a "point" of some sort.
- It'd be great if the shitcock calling himself "fred fred burger" could shut the fuck up. That's like, the bottom of the barrel of all possible TV impersonations. In fact, don't do TV impersonations.
- HE HAS NO FUTURE Now, that's harsh. He's still young. He can learn. The art's okay, so all he needs to do is get past the age where it's endlessly hilarious to a) quote 4chan memes and b) draw yourself beating the shit out of strawman versions of people you wouldn't have the stones to step up to in real life. This blog routinely covers work by people in their thirties and forties who haven't advanced beyond this stage, plus their art still sucks, so the kid has a head start.
- If I may ask, I do not understand your criticism about Pac-Man going "wagga wagga." I understood what that meant perfectly well. Is there already an accepted onomatopeia for that sound Pac-Man makes that I was not aware of?
- John, please pick better targets. Weird Comix may not be great but the note on the front page says the kid is still in high school. He's done almost a hundred comics, it's something he obviously enjoys doing, and he's too young to have developed his own sense of storytelling or humor yet. Why go after a child? You don't have to like his stuff but he's not even legal yet - cut him some slack for the time and effort he's put into it. Child? He's applying to college. Come on. As a "child" (17 years old,) I will say that we're more than old enough to know when our shit stinks, dude. If he's old enough to put racist, sexist crap on the internet, he's old enough to handle criticism/flaming aimed in his direction. I got ripped a new asshole when I was 13 and asked for criticism on a (harmless) drawing I did. And, as a sensitive 13-year-old girl, I sucked it the fuck up and worked on getting better. If he's ever going to improve, he needs a boot in the ass to do so, not mindless sycophantic praise from an endless swarm of yes-men. If I may ask, I do not understand your criticism about Pac-Man going "wagga wagga." I understood what that meant perfectly well. Is there already an accepted onomatopeia for that sound Pac-Man makes that I was not aware of? Wakka wakka wakka (etc.)
- FREE SPACE
- I've been warning people for years that Indians shouldn't try to express themselves artistically. Any Indian film reinforces this notion. This guy should stop embarassing himself and start programming/engineering/doctoring like the rest of them.
- Ha ha I get it its racism ha ha hilarious ha ha fuck off.
- Here's a suggestion for a future review: Sore Thumbs. Pseudo-anime webcomics are inherently crap (with a few exceptions). Gaming webcomics are inherently crap (with even fewer exceptions). Political webcomics are inherently crap (with absolutely no exceptions). Sore Thumbs is a pseudo-anime gaming political webcomic.
- I agree, do Looking for Group. It would be an okay comic if not for the fact that the plot is a bore and the characters are one-dimensional. They do just about the same thing for every single comic.
- Webcomics: Repercussions of Evil John Solomon waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were webcomic writers in the base. He didn't see them, but had expected them now for years. His warnings to the internet were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway. John was a bad web comic reviewer for fourteen years. When he was young he watched the webcomics and he said to dad "I want to write about horrible webcomics daddy!" Dad said "No! You will GET INSULTED BY THE FANBASE" There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now in the internet base of the webcomicverse he knew there were webcomic writers. "This is the internet" the radio crackered. "You must fight the webcomic writers!" So John gotted his word processor and typed on his computer. "HE GOING TO SAY BAD THINGS ABOUT US" said the webcomic writers "I will insult him" said the retarded fanbase and he started spamming his comments page. John typed at him and tried to delete his comment. But then the server crashed and they were disconnected and not able to insult him. "No! I must write about the webcomic writers" he shouted The radio said "No, John. You are the webcomic writers" And then John was Mookie.
- Yes, we get it.
- I will say that I am relieved that he is actually just 17, and not a 40-year-old still trapped in a 17-year-old's mindset. It's possible that there is still hope for him. Then again, the increasing cliquishness of the internet is making it more and more just The High School Experience That Never Ends, allowing such mindsets to be prolonged indefinitely. The fact that he's taking a lot of typical high school bitching and now directing it at 4chan doesn't really bode well for him.
- I think we should have just assumed he was Indian when he drew his persona with straight hair. Seriously, people.
- Anatomy is a difficult thing to capture on paper -- really it is. It is a complex form which takes years of practice and study to understand its many subtle nuances. But, God damn, if you can't even get the length of arms right, you are fucked right there.
- I really feel bad. There's just... there are HINTS of actual humor and actual nice art going on, but they keep getting buried beneath the spurting stream of bile and resentment. That one about "I killed the computer"? I almost laughed. *Almost.* If he had just timed it a little better, cleaned up the dialogue and made it just a bit snappier, it would have been actually funny, damn it. I think I hate the ones with glimmers of hope even more than the ones that are just complete wastes of space. If this Mistry guy could just get over his issues and learn how to make things funny instead of spiteful, this comic wouldn't be bad, and he wouldn't have to feel bad. But it is and he should.
- I'm just wondering how long until he has a comic up in which a guy named 'John Salami' gives him a bad review and is then bludgeoned by a.... I dunno.... submarine sandwhich. Did he do that one already?
- wtf is up with the "I'm wacky!" comic at the bottom of this webtrash. He might as well have said "I'm Zany" or "I'm a wild and crazy guy" or "I'm the biggest faggot on the planet." That alone made me not want to read the rest of his comic. Kudos to Kyle for making my grandparents and/or the evening newscasters on local TV look "clever"
- whoooaaaahh, these are some WEEEIIIIRD COMIX
- 'random' humor is for obsessive anime nerds! wait, changed my mind
- ahaha look at the characters page Kiera Emanon is the "reaction person" of the usual trio. If anything goes wrong, or something seems bizarre, she'll usually be the one to point it out. Not really one to say much, she's the one who tries to keep Kyle and Alex from killing each other. Or, at least Kyle from killing Alex. Rarely with a spontaneous outburst or exuberant antic, Kiera usually just tosses in a remark or comment about the situation that the trio has somehow managed to get themselves into. the girl character hangs out with the wacky main character and acts as the cynical straight man :O
- HONK HONK HONK! The H. L. Mencken of our generation, ladies and gentlemen.
- And re Sore Thumbs: you forgot "and webcomics drawn and/or written by anyone named Crosby are also inherently crap."
- Thank you for loving "Pupkin", zee.
- This blog was more entertaining when you went after self-important, over-hyped pieces of crap. It's funny watching the "high and mighty" get knocked down a few pegs. But now you're going after small fry that no one has even heard of. That's starting to make this blog as uninteresting as the comic you're attacking. Just look on cornstalkers or any number of webcomic forums to find these self-important jerks that think they're the cat's ass. I'd love to see some of those guys get knocked down a few pegs. Much more entertainment value than going after unknowns.
- boneman: You can't suck for not knowing a meme from a weaboo imageboard on the internet unless you regularly visit it. That kind of thinking might turn you into a basement dweller with no job, no friends, and no concerns of life outside of what is even vaguely popular on the internet.
- This blog was more entertaining when you went after self-important, over-hyped pieces of crap. It's funny watching the "high and mighty" get knocked down a few pegs. But now you're going after small fry that no one has even heard of. Wah, wah, wah. Cry me a fucking river, you pussy. This passive-aggresive "John you have lost your way" shit hasn't worked in the past and won't work ever. This blog is not a democracy, it is ruled by me with an iron fist (which I use for iron fisting). I don't have to do what anyone wants. Even so, your argument is flawed to Hell. Over 99% of webcomics are complete and utter shit, and their creators are usually just as crazy/arrogant/stupid as the "big names" are. Just because a webcomic only has a handful of readers doesn't excuse it from being terrible, and if it's bad then I do my gosh-darndest to make them feel bad. So fuck off, you whiny cunt.
- Oh my god will the anonymooses ever stop/learn? Generic webcomic author reply: "Ha, nice blog John I've read your blog and even though I disagree with reviews of XXXX I really fucking hate XXXX. But....they then list anything from 1 to all of the thinks on the Bingo." Have you ever read a blog or forum in your life? That never works. If you are lucky you get told to STFU Fag. If you aren't then some brown nosing commentor makes a blow by blow rebuttal which then goes on for 40 comments until you are arguing over the definition of a single word. It's worse than the fucking repetitive comments on Youtube. Google yourselves a clue fuckwits and come back with an original retort or at least some funny fat jokes.
- WHY NOT REVIEW 8 BIT THEATER VG CATZ DOESNT EVEN UPDAETZ ANYMORE (LIKE 4-5 TIEMZ IN LAST 6 MONTHS) AND THIS LAST COMIX WAS WRITTEN BY ONE OF MY STUDNETS
- Like webcomics, blogs can suck and are subject to criticism. And yours is starting to suck when you initially had a good thing going. Do what you want. Just like webcomic creators are going to do what they want. Keep posting about obscure crap and no one will bother to read this anymore. Your readers are telling you what works and what doesn't. Your blog used to be good but now it's bad and you should feel bad. As for whiney pussies LMAO you're the king of whine and the king of pussies. Read your own blog to find out who the biggest whiner in all of webcomics is.
- Read your own blog to find out who the biggest whiner in all of webcomics is. Is it Mookie? It's Mookie, isn't it?
- I got told to fuck off :(
- Is it Mookie? It's Mookie, isn't it? Why, yes it is! Congratulations, sir! Give that man a stuffed giraffe!
- I'm surprised you didn't end the review by whipping out your sugoi katana and dismembering him. That would have been "hilarious"!
- nobody's ever heard of single asian female. your blog was AWESOME on june 25th but on june 26th it jumped the shark!!!
- Was I the only one who saw an anonymous comment about how Solomon's "fifteen minutes of fame were up" and how the anonymous poster was "done with this weblog, because it's really boring now"? Then anonymous wished Solomon good luck with his "school project" and signed it as... someone who's name seems to have conveniently disappeared from all the other comments as well... It stood right where that "sugoi katana" comment stands now. Hmm... curious.
- Oh man, that was awesome. Funny thing too, just after the current "story" arc going on, I was going to do a comic on how shitty Weird IS. Thanks for some material to toss in, though. Hilarious review, too.
- Oh yeah, and the few (very few) people in here defending me? Don't. Negative criticism is the best way for anyone to improve if it doesn't shatter them. So far, I'm not shattered, and I sure know what I've got to improve on. Negative criticism is what stopped me from being an anime fantard, and negative criticism's probably what's going to stop Weird from being as horrible as it is. I say, just let it all work itself out and don't get in the way.
- whoa! great to see you take criticism so well, I guess.
- Was I the only one who saw an anonymous comment about how Solomon's "fifteen minutes of fame were up" and how the anonymous poster was "done with this weblog, because it's really boring now"? Then anonymous wished Solomon good luck with his "school project" and signed it as... someone who's name seems to have conveniently disappeared from all the other comments as well... You saw a comment that was trolling this blog?!?!?!?!?!?!?! MY GOD THIS IS UNPRECEDENTED
- John Soloman is not your personal army Anonymous.
- Negative criticism is what stopped me from being an anime fantard, and negative criticism's probably what's going to stop Weird from being as horrible as it is. Live up to these words and you shall get 72 virgins in paradise or whatever kooky mumbo-jumbo you heathen devils believe in. Seriously, though, don't just say "I'll do better" and then plateau again, letting your shit run on cruise control with the same grade of art and the same grade of writing because you feel that you're good - or even just "good enough". If you're a real artist, you'll never feel that you're good enough. My recommendation? End Weird Comix, spend several months working flat-out to improve yourself and then hook up with someone who actually can tell a damn good joke. Or a damn good story, whichever you prefer. Then it's just a case of avoiding being a gaming webcomic, and if your writer can't do that then he's not good and you should dump his ass tout de suite. You have my appreciation (whatever that may be worth in this world, I suspect nothing) for showing the kind of decorum that nobody else I've spoken of has shown in almost three fucking months of this blog. I only pray you are being genuine and not bottling it all up inside and spending your time drawing hundreds of pictures of me getting sliced in half by an oversized JRPG-style sword made out of an iPhone.
- I'm also a real person by the way. P.S. Great blog post.
- Best part of this whole review was Mistry taking it so well. Please be genuine, Mistry. Please don't be bullshitting us. There would be significantly fewer fucking crazy people in the webcomic world if all webcomic artists had that kind of tact.
- Man, what can you even say to that. Kyle, I misjudged you. You actually do not appear to be creepy at all! Take John's advice and get yourself a writer, and practice drawing female anatomy (preferably from real females, not from DC comics pinups). That will pretty much clear up all of my issues with you, because you otherwise have genuinely good instincts for the art thing. (Dare I say it, you actually have... a style.) Man, an artist who will actually take criticism and improve because he just wants to be better. Who'd have ever thought it? This world we live in, man, I tell you...
- Mistry does yell and attack people in real life, though..... And you didn't comment on the crappy guest comics at all, dammit! Those were the worst part!
- Mistry does yell and attack people in real life, though..... No, he doesn't. Don't be such a fucking mongoloid.
- Why is this called "Weird Comix"? The only thing weird about it is that he apparantly can't draw necks, otherwise it seems pretty typical to me. Jim Woodring and Al Columbia, now THOSE are some Weird Comix!
- I heard you're a fan of cut and paste comics, so you're going to love Mr Smoozles. www.steve-ince.co.uk/smoozles/smoozles.htm The guy even had the nerve to crow bar a video game out of this lazy tripe.
- John: a lot of people keep throwing webcomics at you for review. Perhaps you could post a list of comics you intend to do (not in order, otherwise people would start saying "Oh, yay, MegaTokyo is next!" and annoy everyone again). That might shut up the idiots who think they're the only ones who've noticed how bad some comics are. And if you have missed a real stinker, then someone can email it to you so it doesn't go uncommented on.
- That's still pandering. Fuck 'em.
- Late in, but ... if the audience wants John to concentrate more on popular comics that suck, you'll also need to stop talking about amateurs. I'm looking at you, guys bringing up Power Chord and Mr. Smoozles.
- Some people want this, some people want that - everyone's got an opinion coming out of their asshole, as the saying goes. Still, this blog handily avoid the problem of catering to everyone simply by catering to no one. It's purely an accident that there are some people out there who enjoy and/or approve of what we do.
- Oh wow, he's actually ended the comic. Maybe he's really taken your advice on board?
- I HOPE U ALL BURN!!!!!!
- "Oh wow, he's actually ended the comic. Maybe he's really taken your advice on board?" 'Course I have. Look up a few posts, it was talked about there. I was going to wait after the current story arc before I ended it, but I'm too busy to finish it. John had some good advice. Take a break, work on the humour, start up again later. Besides, I'm too busy to work on anything but schoolwork. Grade 12 is more brutal than I thought it'd be.
- http://weird-comix.kylepoint.com/index.php?strip_id=81 It's Weird Comic Pun Week. My god, how wacky. And he thinks it's clever. Well, it is clever. Just as clever as lolkillGates.
- has anyone pointed out that the author insert's hair looks like the head of a penis yet is that intentional or what
- "Kay said... John Soloman is not your personal army Anonymous." SIX FOOT SIX HUNGRY AND MEAN A LIVIN', BREATHIN' WAR MACHINE HE PUTS HIS BODY ON THE LINE NOW IT'S TIME FOR HIM TO SHIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEENNNNNEEEEEE!!!!
- Yay! You broke Wierd Comix! 1 down, a billion to go!
- Hmmm, seems as if the comic has been removed. One interesting factor that reoccurs in most of the reviews in your blogs is the fact you and the other contributors criticise the self-insertion in so many Webcomics, which whilst being fucking annoying is something that has been around in high-art and modern classic literature. Virginia Wolf used various characters from her life for 'longest love letter in the English language' Orlando, Jack Kerouac repeatedly does that semi-autobiographical thing in his stories, Persepolis (a French comic, written by Iranian Marjane Satrapi) which is practically an autobiography with alot of artistic liberties, and then dozens of published Sci-Fi and Fantasy novels, might as well throw Harry Potter in there. (Whilst JK Rowling of course is female -unless she's used that shitload of money she's made for a sex change- hasn't anyone noticed that Harry practically has no flaws apart from being a token geek? Along with the fact that in interviews she speaks exactly the same as Harry, he's practically her mouthpiece) Though whilst these are great novels (except for the last one....of course, but that's just my opinion), all derive a part of their life or character to be a part of their main character. And most authors take alot of influence in writing characters, from family to friends. Whilst I'm not saying you're wrong about the criticism of self-insert main characters (as it's just lazy writing), but maybe the criticism could be more considered before being applied. As it just seems to be said that they're self-inserts, no explanation or evidence provided. (apart for the review on The Wotch) (Though that's just a minor flaw in your critique, which're usually pretty good, and point out how attention seeking, morally devoid/stupid the people behind some of these abominations are. And in most cases you provide hard criticism, followed by decent evidence)
