Your Webcomic is Bad and You Should Feel Bad Archive: the slow but sure onset of my inevitable mental breakdown

Showing posts with label the slow but sure onset of my inevitable mental breakdown. Show all posts

Monday, October 15, 2007

Your Webcomic is on Hiatus and You Should Go Home

written by John Solomon

Like some kind of celestial occurence, the lives of the Elders of Zion have overlapped. Out of the vast number of things we have to get done, this blog rates fairly low on the list. Let's face it, it's webcomics. Nobody gives a fuck about webcomics except the people whose lives would be meaningless without them, like Robert A. Howard.

I'm kidding, Robert A. Howard's existence is utterly meaningless anyway.

In any case, we haven't the time to spare to read bad webcomics and talk about bad webcomics and have people cry about it. So for the next undefined period of time, YWB shall not be updating. The hiatus will end when we start updating again, which could be a week or a month from now.

I'm sure that there are a few of you out there who are moaning about that, either because you want to tell us how much you love us (unlikely) or you've got more "John Faggomon" jokes to bust out as if you're Chuckles P. Laughmeister the Komedy King. Well, tough fucking luck, because you can't. Ha ha ha.

Monday, July 9, 2007

A Word of Warning

written by John Solomon

On the prior entry I received this comment:

John, I love your blog! I thought that you only reviewed well-known bad comics, but seeing your entry on Lowroad gave me hope! I love to suggest a comic for you -- mine! Strike one: the strip is about toys who are Dungeons and Dragons characters! Strike two: my site design is primitive and pink! Strike three: my online name is very goofy! Especially for a 43-year old father who works in publishing in NYC! So please come by ... and say what you *really* think! -- Cayzle.

No. I am not your fucking publicity service. You are not going to get me to rip apart your shitty webcomic just so you can nudge-nudge, wink-wink, look at me I'm e-famous! Cayzle, you are pathetic enough for me to write about you on this blog. You're a slimey, brown-nosing little dick who sees this blog as an opportunity to up your hitcount. You want that? Go to fucking Tangents and let Bobby not only talk at length about you, but never say a single bad word.

Oh, wait, nobody reads Tangents.

Even so, I will say this again: FUCK YOU. As shitty as your webcomic may be - and, honestly, I haven't looked and I never will - it's never going to appear on this blog.

If you're so desperate for attention you're willing to be here, then that says more about you than any words I could muster. I'm going after the delusional pricks like Terracciano and Reitz, who think they're the second coming of Tolkein/Shakespeare and burst into tears when someone points out what a pile of crusty old semen their work is. I don't need some boot-licking creep - who's forty-three for Christ's sake - of an attention whore.

I am not Bob Tangents. I do not respond well to people trying to crawl up my ass. I do not need the approval of some tiny, shitty webcomic dick to survive. I am not here to entertain you, you wretch. I am here to entertain other people at your expense.

36 comments:

Shishio said...: "If you're so desperate for attention you're willing to be here, then that says more about you than any words I could muster. I'm going after the delusional pricks like Terracciano and Reitz, who think they're the second coming of Tolkein/Shakespeare and burst into tears when someone points out what a pile of crusty old semen their work is." Then why review comics like Lowroad and Shortpacked? I'm not aware of any instances where the authors have been so arrogant/delusional.; 09 July 2007 17:55
Anonymous said...: Thank god you called this guy on his shit. I'd say he's even more "That Kid" than Robert A. Howard, willing to take any level of abuse and pretend it's funny just so people will notice him.; 09 July 2007 19:03
Anonymous said...: ^^^haha you guys cared enough to post comments on the blog oh wait; 09 July 2007 19:53
Shishio said...: ...As did you. Haha, hypocrisy and ignorance for the win!; 09 July 2007 20:28
Alex said...: ^ Both of you fail. The second anonymous guy fails for being unfunny and Shishio fails for failing to recognize the joke. And I'm pretty sure that Mr. Solomon reviews "comics like Lowroad and Shortpacked" because he finds them to be genuinely bad.; 09 July 2007 20:36
Anonymous said...: I think also it was because both those webcomics have a fan base (though lowraods is very small) so he knows his reveiw isn't doing them any favors.; 09 July 2007 20:57
Hannah said...: Well done sir!; 09 July 2007 21:04
Anonymous said...: I feel sorry for that guy's kids.; 09 July 2007 22:35
Anonymous said...: Heh. I knew you weren't gonna let that slide, JS.; 10 July 2007 00:18
Shishio said...: "^ Both of you fail. The second anonymous guy fails for being unfunny and Shishio fails for failing to recognize the joke." Unfortunately, I suffered a brain fart that prevented me from scrolling down to see the "oh wait" part. My apologies, anonymous person, for falsely accusing you of being an ignorant hypocrite.; 10 July 2007 00:45
Dave said...: Put down with all the kindness and tact of a wrecking ball to the face. Wouldn't have it any other way.; 10 July 2007 02:39
Anonymous said...: "Then why review comics like Lowroad and Shortpacked? I'm not aware of any instances where the authors have been so arrogant/delusional." Because the comics suck. They are delusional in the fact that they think their stuff is good enough to be put online and show to other people, expecting them to like it.; 10 July 2007 04:02
nji said...: NO I'M SURE HE HAD ULTERIOR MOTIVES IN SAYING THAT SHORTPACKED AND LOWROAD SUCKED WE'RE DAMN SEXY YEAH PLEASE DADDY LET ME CRY; 10 July 2007 04:24
Anonymous said...: OH SHIT JOHN SOLOMON I JUST READ THESE WORDS ON A VERIFIED HONEST-TO-GOD FORUM ON THE INTERNET OH MY GOD JOHN SOLOMON YOU'RE ABOUT TO BE TORCHED WITH A STEAK (medium rare) I'M PRETTY SURE YOU LAUGHED ABOUT THIS SHIT THREE WEEKS AGO BUT I THOUGHT I'D THROW THIS OUT FOR THE REST OF THE FOLKS TO LAFFO ABOUT The jurisdiction is federal. We're talking felony crimes here. We're talking felony crimes in an era where the government doesn't care about the civil rights of those arrested. For the hate crime legislation I believe we're talking federal. John's statements legally constitute "Assault" (Battery being the actual physical attacks, Assault is the threat, perceived threat, and verbal threat). The entire Hate Crime legislation is so fuzzy that they can nail it to just about any situation. It was deliberately created that way so they could add extra punishment to individuals who were "designated" as deserving of being charged by a hate crime (ie, white male, some black males as well). Ms. Reitz is transsexual and a religious minority. So attacks on her do count as hate crimes. Considering how insane prosecutors are these days... JOHN SOLOMON IS A FUCKING INTERNET BULLY WHO BULLIES PEOPLE WITH WITH WORDS AND HURTS THEM IN WAYS OF UH....insults; 10 July 2007 04:37
Anonymous said...: Oh no. A lawlsuit.; 10 July 2007 07:11
jerkface said...: considering that the tranny monster has already publicly stated that JS should reveal his personal information so that people can kill him, uhh lol internet; 10 July 2007 08:12
Anonymous said...: Someone needs to do a little more research on that whole 'hate crimes' thing. Especially given that Solomon went after the comic, and not the creator.; 10 July 2007 14:35
Nick said...: Yup. It was encyclopedia dramatica that went after the creator :D; 10 July 2007 16:52
Aesir said...: I think /b/ is leaking again.; 10 July 2007 17:12
John Solomon said...: /b/tards, less desu pleasu.; 10 July 2007 19:59
Cayzle said...: A hit, sir! Touché! Thanks for the response. Just what I deserve, I daresay.; 11 July 2007 02:23
Tim said...: o_O You ARE a strange one, cayzle.; 11 July 2007 02:39
Dave said...: Jolly good sport, old man. Tea?; 11 July 2007 03:23
Anonymous said...: "A hit, sir! Touché! Thanks for the response. Just what I deserve, I daresay." Wow. Are you Tobias Funke from Arrested Development?; 11 July 2007 07:13
Anonymous said...: Oh my god, someone kick Cayzle in the nuts and see how many times he asks for another. What a tool.; 11 July 2007 07:48
Anonymous said...: cayzle is either an idiot or a good troll.....; 11 July 2007 08:42
Gianna said...: "A hit, sir! Touché! Thanks for the response. Just what I deserve, I daresay." Martin from The Simpsons? Is it you?; 11 July 2007 11:51
Anonymous said...: Bollocks.; 11 July 2007 16:34
Anonymous said...: Haha, somehow I knew that would get some sort of comment out of you, while it wasn't the first comic asking you to "attack my comic plz" it was phrased in such a pathetic way as to just be annoying as hell. Well, keep up the good work entertaining/shocking the masses.; 11 July 2007 20:47
Susan said...: SOCIAL EXPERIMENT!; 12 July 2007 00:01
Reo said...: Wait, wait, wait... this was an actual email? And he wrote to you with THAT kind of idiotic, yaoi-fangirl tone of enthusiasm in his message? Christ on a Cracker. I'd only go to that site just to find contact information in order to find out where he physically lives.; 28 August 2007 12:58
Reo said...: Reading more of the guy's message, it makes me shudder to realize this guy might have kids. Worse yet, he goes around bragging to his kids' friends about how he's a "Whacky-Fun Internet Cartoonist." ...Also, the home-address comment should have been thought out a little better, I am going to have to admit.; 28 August 2007 13:04
Anonymous said...: shemales porntube Free Tranny Sex Click Here Free Tranny Galleries DVD's & Tranny Sex Toys Hot Trannies In Your City Dying To Meet You! Sexiest Ladyboys Ever Free NonStop Tranny Fucking Hot Tranny Girl Sexing Tranny Oral Porn Galleries Surf In Style With the Tranny Sex Tracker Free Hot Tranny Sex Stories Free Hot Tranny Sex Videos One Hung Bitch Transsexual Heartbreakers T-Girl Fantasies Shemale Whores BONUS! Tranny Casino!; 01 May 2008 01:50
Anonymous said...: I was looking for the link for that in the comments so I could bookmark this comic and read it. I think this man was very brave to ask you review his comic. Then I googled cayzle and found the site, which is: http://www.cayzle.com/ Nyah-nyah nya nya nyah! I'm giving him publicity in this comment! If you are going to delete this, I'll re-post the link! Now he's getting more readers! Someone who finds his comjic from here might actually even donate money to him! And by the way, John Solomon, how do you know that the people who send you links saying "check out this piece of shit" are not actually the authors of the comic with a different nick? Jelena "Leena" Kivinen from Finland, "that kid" who still can't put her name in the comment without having an account.; 03 June 2008 06:59
Anonymous said...: I am going to fucking kill you in your sleep, Anon.; 17 July 2008 15:17

Friday, June 29, 2007

STOP LINKING TO ME FOR CHRIST'S SAKE

written by John Solomon

I've been linked to by Metafilter, TalkAboutComics, Journalista... why? Seriously, all this horrible media attention makes me want to abandon this blog outright. I had enough with all the people throwing around the link to this site going "THIS HERETIC HAS DEFIED THE WORDS OF OUR CREATRIX" and pooling their efforts to nail me to a cross. Literally nail me to a cross. I'm serious, they're fucking insane.

As much as people (and I use the term loosely) would like you to believe that I am a 10-year-old living simultaneously in my parent's basement and in kindergarten, who swears because I adore Maddox - also I am Maddox and about three dozen other people I've never even heard of - and I'm apparently insanely jealous of fat trannies and lazy rapists, and also I'm beating a dead horse (but not hard enough to stop people from telling me seventy-eight times a day how totally uninterested they are in my blog!) I am not that man. That boy. Whatever. If using a bit of foul language and the occasional reference to homosexuality makes me a homophobic, self-loathing queer or whatever the fuck people are calling me nowadays, well then I guess I am rubber and you are glue. Grow up, you idiots. I've been called asshole, asstard, assfuck, butthole, buttfucker, cocksucker, cocktard, cockfuck, cockwit, cunt, cuntwad, douche, douchebag, douchenozzle, dumbass, dipshit, coward, dick, dickless, prick, prickless, fucker, fuckwit, fuckbaby, fucktard, retard, tard, tardass, faggot, fagtard, fag, fagnuts, fagfuck, fagcock, plebian, parasite, jerk, jerkwad, jerkinator, dickjerk, jerktard, wadtard, tardwad, tardtard, tardbaby and a billion other things - usually in the same sentence when I'm being told I'm a hypocrite and swearing makes me 10 years old. SUPER-RAD.

I started this blog to entertain people. Specific people. Like, seven or eight people. Everyone besides them is extra baggage, and usually crazy to boot. A rise in new readers can only mean a rise in more crazy bitches, which means that sooner or later I'm going to end up with weirdos mailing me little dolls made out of their pubic hair. It will happen. I've already had Goddamn JDR saying that if he knew my real name I'd be dead.

It strikes me how it's odd that I have not had this blog a week and already I am becoming almost as well-known as some of the people I have mocked and degraded. However, I am infinitely more mocked than those people, simply because my crappy words are not accompanied by anime tits and puns. Guess I should do my next entry on this blog and then kill myself before it's too late and I'm asking people to call me Sollie-chan.

96 comments:

Malky said...: I recommend just adding some transsexual furry hentai. The loonies will be too distracted to make asses of themselves.; 29 June 2007 22:49
Benjamin said...: whatever you're just jealous because tangents got so many new readers from your link to it i'm onto you mr solo man :V; 29 June 2007 22:58
John Solomon said...: malky, I have considered carrying around laminated cards featuring transsexual furry hentai, so if cornered I can throw it out like chaff and make good my escape. But, on the other side of the coin, I'd have to carry around transsexual furry hentai and I'd rather get killed by angry Deegan fans.; 29 June 2007 23:00
Fletcher said...: If it's any consolation, I only linked to you to support my own godforsaken screed. (And hey, with my viewership of one, you're not getting any flak from my corner...); 29 June 2007 23:06
Dr. Hastings said...: Ah bloo bloo bloo; 29 June 2007 23:10
Christopher Cosby said...: But I like linking to you so much.; 29 June 2007 23:10
John Solomon said...: Joke's on you, fletcher! With that link to your blog up in the right there, soon all MY crazies will become YOUR crazies! AHAHAHA SEE YOU IN HELL BITCH *revs harley and drives off into the night*; 29 June 2007 23:11
Anonymous said...: Wait, so you DON'T want a little doll made out of pubic hair? Dammit, that's 30 minutes of my life I'll never get back.; 29 June 2007 23:27
SuperHappy said...: I'm sorry Fuego, but this blog probably deserves attention.; 29 June 2007 23:32
Robert said...: Please. You live to be linked. Why else go after comics that aren't all that bad instead of some of the small fries that honestly need to be rebooted and started anew? Your little cry "don't link me!" is quite transparent. The more attention you get, the happier you become. But don't worry. I'll listen to the words even if ignoring the truth behind them, and not link you. *evil smile* Rob H., Tangents; 29 June 2007 23:49
John Solomon said...: ... there are no words, Mr. Tangents, for the depth of your ignorance.; 29 June 2007 23:52
Anonymous said...: Geez, Robert is creepy. Is there something about bad webcomic-ry that makes it impossible to recognize how creepy you are?; 30 June 2007 00:01
Cowcaster said...: Click here to Digg this article!; 30 June 2007 00:02
Anonymous said...: i read your blog after being linked on journalista... ...i liked it... because i hate el goonish shive and ctrl+alt+del...; 30 June 2007 00:19
Malky said...: Robert might just be right. How dare you choose to criticize people mildly public figures and their mildly popular creations!; 30 June 2007 00:33
Anonymous said...: Wait. You can get more "small fry" and "in need of rebooting" than Pastel Defender Whatzitz and Minimum Security? Seriously? And it's nice to know that even when referring to what must presumably be the worst webcomics in all of the internet Mr. Tangents can't let out the slightest negative comment about them. Comics like Boston and Shaun just need a "rebooting" to be fixed? Really?; 30 June 2007 00:51
fuck tangents said...: Oh good, Robert, you haven't learned shit from people yelling about your fucking retarded emotes. "*wry grin* *evil smile*" What's your fuckin' damage?; 30 June 2007 01:07
John Solomon said...: Eveyr entry brings new people. The entry on Pasta Defender Helicopter brought ROBERT A. HOWARD OF ROBERT A. HOWARD'S TANGENTS BY ROBERT A. HOWARD to the fold. I think that, right there, is a good enough excuse to not want more links.; 30 June 2007 01:13
Easter said...: oh sollie-chan XD so sirry desuka ^_^; 30 June 2007 01:30
Anonymous said...: Since most of the people who comment are either anonymous or Howard Tangents Robert A, I don't know how you could tell if you're attracting more crazies or not.; 30 June 2007 01:30
Anonymous said...: Oh, the internet. So full of hate and anger and shoutings and "OMG U R THE WURST IDIOT EVAR U STOOPID TURD"... ...i love it. CONTINUE THE HATE. After all, you went to all this trouble to put together some minor form of webspace. Might as well use it a little longer. ..please?; 30 June 2007 01:37
T Campbell... said...: If this is really meant for the amusement of a few friends, then I suggest switching it to Livejournal and setting it as friends-only.; 30 June 2007 01:38
Malky said...: And I suggest investing in a fleet of skywriters and letting the world see it. Of course, that would be pretty damn obnoxious, forcing me to create Your Skywriting is Bad and You Should Feel Just Awful About It.; 30 June 2007 01:51
Anonymous said...: It seems to be amusing more than just "a few friends" at this point.; 30 June 2007 01:54
Mark. said...: I always find it funny to look at these comments and realize that so many people have a problem understanding that someone really might just be writing this sort of stuff to amuse themselves, not to build a fanbase. Because God knows being famous on the internet is OMG SO COOL!; 30 June 2007 02:10
John Solomon said...: Not everyone has a Livejournal Mr. T. Campbell! Also people derive entertainment from the comments, so there's that.; 30 June 2007 02:22
John Solomon said...: Also what mark said.; 30 June 2007 02:28
cell said...: Suck it up, cockfag.; 30 June 2007 02:44
Anonymous said...: What's the crime of having this not locked away in some friends-only entry? Does the internet really become a worse place because some has unkind opinions out in the public view? Oh boo hoo hoo! Someone's hurting me with words that I searched for myself!; 30 June 2007 03:58
Ricky Scibbe said...: The only logical course of action, of course, is for someone to write a webcomic where every character is a doll constructed out of pubic hair... and maybe those hilarious little glue-on googly eyes.; 30 June 2007 04:32
Jack Bane said...: "Mr. Solomon," I applaud what you're doing. I wish there were more critics like you in the world, appealing to a wider range of individuals. I happen to like most of the comics you've treated so far, but I agree with your analysis for the most part. You're typically more succinct and clearly spoken about your opinions than I can articulate. The habit of resting upon one's laurels is a hard one to break, but one that is fun to try to break people of. Of course you'll get the idol-worshipers lashing out in vitriol against your scathing and apt remarks. A frightening majority of the world gets violently defensive when you make even a minor criticism of something they like, cherish, or revere. One qualm I have is the fact that this is a personal opinion blog, but then again most are. It's your own personal opinion, and it's good that it's contrary to what seems to be the pervasive. I also think you could put a paragraph together at the end of each entry as to how each artist could really improve. It'd probably be just as entertaining as everything else. I can't wait to see your treatment of Megatokyo. That ought to be a riot. -J.A. Bane; 30 June 2007 05:06
Anonymous said...: Oh yes. Please. Do Megatokyo.; 30 June 2007 06:18
Anonymous said...: I'd never heard of the Robert A. Tangents Esq. before he started posting here, but good Lord, how can anyone be such a fucking idiot. Dude, you come in here like "Oh hmm mmyes a negative webcomic blog how droll. *eyebrow raise* Well you're all superfluous pedantic dietetic esculent dough heads. *sardonic smirk* Now I do believe I have won our internet war, I'm off to give a glowing review for a webcomic that features multi-gendered MS paint drawn circles having sex with each other; I give an eleven....out of TEN. *walks out while everyone else in the room is like, ohhh man did i just get insulted? Then I go have sex with supermodels* Then after all that crap you go and post on your own site about how you get more pageviews than a free blog that's been in operation for about three days, and go on about how you totally insulted all these fools dude you don't even know. How the hell do you manage to mastrubate to your own ego that many times per day? But hey, what do I know...I'm not an intensely famous web comic artist so my comment is already null and void right?; 30 June 2007 07:19
My Real Name said...: You Blog Is Funny And I Don't Give A Shit Who Hates It. I only see two problems here. One, an immediate explosion of imitators with blogs ripping on every webcomic under the sun (did I say problems?) Second, a bunch of webcomic-making fools saying "rip on MY comic now, I hope he rips on MY comic now" like you're an insult comic and they can assume you're making it all up just for the laugh. You heard it here first. John, fight the good fight, man.; 30 June 2007 07:47
solobuttons said...: but you are doing a fantastic job! (much better than Maddox or anyone--any comparisons to SA writers yet btw?) also if you see the comment left by "easter" on this page... he was the guy that linked me here in the first place.; 30 June 2007 08:16
Anonymous said...: You know john I find this post of yours highly amusing. Mostly because you're complaining about people linking you, and various people showing up to comment and what not. Why do I find that funny? Because you're the one you made this a public blog where literally anyone who can find it can comment. Perhaps you didn't expect this much attention, but that's the way the internet goes. Word of mouth, or people linking you can get quite a swarm of people to your site. Though, and I mean this in all seriousness, if you truly are worried about someone sending creepy things to you, or tracking you down to try and injure you, or anything along those lines then you probably should stop writing. Simply because it probably isn't very healthy to become as paranoid as you sound sometimes. ~David; 30 June 2007 08:30
Anonymous said...: I must say John that I find this post of yours amusing. I find it amusing because while you complain about people linking you and scary fans and all that, you're still the one who put this up on the internet, made it public, and thus anyone can say whatever they want on here. That's what can happen when you put something on the internet you know. However, and I mean this part seriously, if you truly are worried about people on here sending creepy things, or trying to harm you, then you probably should stop writing. Because I don't think it's very healthy to be as paranoid as some of these comments make you sound. ~David; 30 June 2007 08:51
First Speaker said...: David, what? Did you make the same post twice with minor use of a thesaurus or something? -David; 30 June 2007 09:30
Anonymous said...: My apologies for double posting, I'd delete one, but first I can't actually see my comments half the time right now, which is why I accidentally double posted, and second I don't think I can delete an anonymous posting after it's been put up. ~David; 30 June 2007 09:30
Anonymous said...: Nope, no thesaraus involved. Just the changes that come from writing things at slightly different times. ~David P.S. I use a tilde before my name not a dash. Just so you know.; 30 June 2007 09:35
Anonymous said...: blah blah blah im gonna talk about myself a bit more blah blah ~David; 30 June 2007 09:42
Anonymous said...: Very good that is a slightly better imitation. Now all you need to do is say something. Since I tend to be long-winded try to make it as long as possible too. Also I'm guessing that you're malky since you say, "im gonna talk about myself a bit more." ~David; 30 June 2007 09:49
Anonymous said...: Okay guys this isn't funny any more. I made an honest mistake, and all you can do is rip into me. How pathetically childish do you have to be to think this is funny? Meh. I couldn't really care. But in all seriousness, joking aside, on the other hand, when you really think about it, the deeper issue is something that we've barely scratched the surface of. And that's the really important thing here. <3~/*\~\*/~DaViD~\*/~/*\~<3; 30 June 2007 09:57
Anonymous said...: Oh John, you forgot TWAT.; 30 June 2007 10:03
ted said...: John did someone really call you 'tardtard' because that's pretty funny; 30 June 2007 10:07
Anonymous said...: Hm...I'd have to say that imitation is worse then the last....first I've never really said anything along the lines of, "Okay guys this isn't funny any more. I made an honest mistake, and all you can do is rip into me. How pathetically childish do you have to be to think this is funny?" Part of the problem with that one is that you use an insult which I don't believe I've ever done here. Though I might have said something similar to, "I made and honest mistake." But that's about it really. If you wish to try and prove me wrong my posts are here and under both the Dominic Deegan entries. Also the signature is obviously wrong. ~David; 30 June 2007 10:08
Anonymous said...: obviously; 30 June 2007 11:49
Anonymous Wuss said...: I think Tangentbert has the right of it--Solomon is clearly asking sites like Metafilter to stop linking him in hopes of scoring some fat traffic from Tangents, all the while sending perhaps pairs of idiots into Tangent's open arms. I suspect he will next go after the 5 people reading my brother's Myspace page, in his quest for attention.; 30 June 2007 12:19
Sam Bedlam said...: Mr. Solomon, I think your blog is marvelous, and I think you are performing a valuable and necessary service in informing terrible internet people that their art is awful and useless. Why would you even pay any attention to your detractors? They are terrible people in the thrall of an ugly tranny or a long-haired rape-lovin' hippie. You do not even need to respond to people such as these. All you have to do is link to this picture and say "This is who you are defending. This is who you support." For what it is worth, you have even inspired me to start a Minimum Security-centric blog myself. I've been an avid reader of that comic for a long time and felt it could use a Comics Curmudgeon-style daily sendup, but I have never had the gumption to start such a project until reading your delightful blog. Do not let the pizza-faced basement-dwelling tranny-chasing hygiene-impaired losers of the world bring you down, Mr. Solomon. Fight the good fight.; 30 June 2007 12:45
Graham said...: Have you seen this fuckin' thing? http://www.sinfest.net/archive_page.php?comicID=2488; 30 June 2007 14:34
Anonymous said...: Please, give your life to Jesus before it's too late. John 3:16.; 30 June 2007 18:03
J said...: Fuck you, I love Sinfest. It's all over now, John. You'll have to shut this thing down if you want to avoid the crazies. On the other hand, do you really give a shit? The absolute worst any of them can do is be utterly hilarious in their lunacy.; 30 June 2007 19:39
DavidMcG said...: Aw, poor baby!; 30 June 2007 21:04
Anonymous said...: I enjoy reading well-written negative reviews of things, so don't let this site perish like half of the cool sites I come across seem to right after I discover them. - a lurker; 30 June 2007 22:02
Smileyfax said...: Your blog is rad and you should feel rad. Never change!; 30 June 2007 23:34
Anonymous said...: Its funny seeing people cry and whine about some dude mocking generally shitty webcomics on his blog. IF YOU CAN'T DEAL WITH NEGATIVE OPINIONS YOU CAN'T MAKE IT IN LIFE PERIOD! JDR is nutso. The Domic Deegan strip mentioned IS all sorts of fucked up. Shortpacked does need to stop trying to do drama and just do the toy humor its actually good at. The Tangents guy IS a complete retard if he thinks there is some federal law against making fun of people on the Internet. (Or at least one that would last 5 seconds if actually put to use in the legal system. The ALCU would be all over that noise!) And please do Neo Monster Island. That guy's lame photocomic and actions pretty much ARE the example of these easily offended comic types. "Please love me! If you don't love me you are a big doo doo head, and my legions of fans prove me right nya nya! I'LL CRY ON MY BLOG ABOUT YOU AND YOU ARE SOO GONNA GET IT!" WTF man.. WTF.; 30 June 2007 23:48
Aesir said...: As amusing as a deconstruction of Megatokyo would be, I just gotta say that more people need to rip into Questionable Content. Do it. You know you want to.; 01 July 2007 00:10
Anonymous said...: jack bane said... "I also think you could put a paragraph together at the end of each entry as to how each artist could really improve. It'd probably be just as entertaining as everything else." I don't think this would work. Many (others may be so bold as to say "all") of the comics Solomon has written about are so beyond crazy-bad as to be impossible to salvage.; 01 July 2007 01:09
Eli said...: Yeah, guys. This isn't a blog about comics and how they could be improved. It's a blog about bad comics and why they are bad. It is about pointing out bad things and describing, in lurid detail, how bad they are. If that is not what you want to read, then you are perfectly welcome to read something else. I am able to PERSONALLY GUARANTEE that nobody is forcing anyone to read this. Nobody in the entire world. You do not have to read this blog if you do not like it. I am trying to repeat myself as much as possible here. You don't need to read this. In fact, it is actually EASIER not to read this blog than it is to read it. Not only is it easier, it's MORE CONVENIENT. I guarantee that nobody was just sitting around at this web address just looking at a blank screen before this blog came along. I guarantee it. Everybody who came here came here by clicking a link that they clicked with some knowledge that they were going to see blog posts about bad webcomics. You have not been wronged, because you came to John Solomon's blog of your own volition. This is his blog which he uses a he sees fit. You are a guest here. He has no obligation to accommodate you and your opinions.; 01 July 2007 02:48
Adam said...: This post has been removed by the author.; 01 July 2007 03:21
ekillr said...: Eli, when I read that line about "noone was sitting around at this web address, staring at a blank screen, before this blog started" (I paraphrased), I actually laughed out loud. Hard. John, I'm sure that you're probably getting bugged by people requesting you do different comics, but please,Please,PLEASE- Do Wapsi Square. Seriously, I used to love this comic, and i can honestly say I loved watching the art progress over it's run. I really love the art now, to be honest, but oh-my-holy-mother-of-christ, I can't bear to read it anymore. The storyline is such a fuckin' DRAG to read, the hash of mythologies is straight off of Stargate SG1, the obligatory gay characters, am I gay/am I not gay ambiguities, serious WTF moments where characters flip flop completely, and blatantly pathetic fanservice all have had my teeth on edge. Oh, and you want to talk about crazy ass fans? Pablo has some crazy ass fans. Please, I'm begging you, take the piss out of this one.; 01 July 2007 08:36
Anonymous said...: Isn't calling someone a paedophile slanderous? Isn't slander a prosecuteable offence...?; 01 July 2007 15:29
Anonymous said...: Only if it's not true.; 01 July 2007 16:37
Anonymous said...: ABLOO BLOO BLOO PEOPLE ARE LINKING TO ME! ;_; Quit cryin ya fairy fuck; 01 July 2007 17:22
Monty Ashley said...: "I also think you could put a paragraph together at the end of each entry as to how each artist could really improve." But then every entry would just end with some variation on "Draw better. Also, write better. Also, stop drawing and writing altogether because we'd all be better off without your lousy comic." And it's not like, say, the Dominic Deegan entry didn't have specific criticisms the artist could act on if he really wanted to.; 01 July 2007 19:13
Anonymous said...: come on, stop acting all emo and get back to work. The Internet demands it!; 01 July 2007 21:16
Anonymous said...: Questionable Content is also awesome (and unlike Dominic Deegan, has shown demonstrable improvement in the years it's been around). What really deserves a ripping into is Penny and Aggie, which I used to like until that HORRIBLE, FUCKING AWFUL, sitcommy comedy-of-errors storyline a couple months back that made 3/4 of its regulars want to spoon their eyes out with a fucking melon baller.; 01 July 2007 22:44
Anonymous said...: "Questionable Content is also awesome" QC is only "awesome" if you are a scenefag who wants to fuck emo chicks, and think that namedropping semi-obscure bands is an adequate stand-in for real intellectualism. QC's art has improved over the years, I will give it that, but as a comic it is to scenefags what User Friendly is to Linux nerds. If you defend its writing on any level then you have marked yourself and you need to be hunted down and your CD collection burned in front of you.; 02 July 2007 00:09
Malky said...: "wants to fuck emo chicks" Yes.; 02 July 2007 03:33
Anonymous said...: "wants to fuck emo chicks" http://frontalot.com/media.php/7/MC_Frontalot_-_Nerdcore_Rising_02_Goth_Girls.mp3; 03 July 2007 02:39
Anonymous said...: QC hardly namedrops the indie band bullshit anymore. It mostly went away when the main character actually started getting laid.; 03 July 2007 04:26
Anonymous said...: why are you being so whiny? i like your writing, but the fact that you are too much of a coward to stand behind your opinions when more people can see them discounts everything you write.; 03 July 2007 05:51
Anonymous said...: "QC hardly namedrops the indie band bullshit anymore. It mostly went away when the main character actually started getting laid." Yeah, now we get this sort of wankery instead. Congrats, Jeph, you're officially drawing soft-core porn for scenefags now.; 03 July 2007 10:49
T Campbell... said...: Not everyone has a Livejournal... So get one. Or send this out as a private mailing list. I'm not offended by your decision to make this into a blog. I'm saying that if you sincerely don't want the links, you may have picked the wrong medium. I'm pretty sure you can't have entertaining comments without the links. So make a choice. But since this has been the last post for a while, you may have already done so...; 03 July 2007 17:09
Anonymous said...: John Soloman, I don't think you should abandon this blog, no matter how many people get all pissy that you're bashing their favorite make-beleive internet characters. Your blog is great and gives me far more laughs than any of the webcomics did. Keep up the good work. -K; 03 July 2007 17:16
The William G said...: Well, that didn't last long; 03 July 2007 17:34
Anonymous said...: I'm linking you everywhere I can now; 03 July 2007 17:46
Anonymous said...: jesus man don't be a fucking goony goon and hate yourself because you're popular and goons hate being popular revel in the amount of shit you're instigating. seriously, you're doing a good thing for webcomics as it's starting a grassroots movement or passive attitude against shitty webcomics.; 03 July 2007 17:47
Anonymous said...: "But since this has been the last post for a while, you may have already done so..." "Well, that didn't last long " Don't worry, John will be back soon. The blog has only been updated so much in the last week as a buffer until he is.; 03 July 2007 19:14
Anonymous said...: I find your blog extremely entertaining. I love the stupid people who drop in, see how much cursing you do, and think you're an idiot without noticing that ALL the points you make are 100% accurate. I do read a couple of those comics you've mentioned. I don't know why, I imagine it's just habit at this point. C+A+D is just horrible, yet I still check on it from time to time. I keep hoping EGS will pick up sometime, because it seems like there some effort to improve there. Shortpacked! is still funny enough sometimes to be worth the time. I guess all I'm trying to say is, enjoy your vacation, but please come back soon. You are doing a great service to webcomics, everyone needs someone to call them on their shit, or just to call them shit, for egos sake. And really, these comments are getting increasingly entertaining, why do you not want more people here? By the way, I'm currently reading your comic's archive, the writing is really funny considering how limited you are by the art.; 03 July 2007 22:31
Anonymous said...: I wonder what the reaction will be when Mr. Solomon returns. No doubt many a shitty webcomic fan is cheering the "passing" of YWiBaYSFB (damn thats one hell of an acronym, or DTOHoaA), partying in the streets like its the summer of love in good ole San Francisco. But watch out, COINTELPRO is coming back around, and it'll be sure to be emptying all cylinders of its John Solomon special upon the hapless, retarded crowd of the "RAPE IS A SOMETIMES PLOT DEVICE" generation.; 04 July 2007 03:36
Brian said...: Nice. =) That's a ton of hate mail. You must be doing something right.; 04 July 2007 05:22
Anonymous said...: Unrelated to this particular blog, here's something to examine: http://dolari.org/cs/1.htm As far as I can tell, the webcomic about emotionally repressed transsexuals takes place over a span of three weeks despite taking five years to tell it. During which almost nothing happens, improvement in the "Star Blazers" art style included. In the Closetspace universe, 1980s hair never went out of fashion. Mercifully, there is no nudity or even sex in this strip. Read the archive yourself and see if it's worthy of your reviews.; 04 July 2007 19:35
Anonymous said...: """hapless, retarded crowd of the "RAPE IS A SOMETIMES PLOT DEVICE" generation.""" The Bible is a far worse offender of this than Dominic Deegan.; 08 July 2007 21:49
Anonymous said...: I agree. These assholes need to stop linking you. I mean this guy called your writing 'sharp, rhythmic, [and] clever'. Just like people who don't know what actually good, well crafted art is might want to reconsider going for a webcomic,as you've pointed out people who don't know what actual 'sharp, rhythmic' writing is should stay away from recommending blogs.; 09 July 2007 00:58
John Solomon said...: That's the weakest burn I've ever seen attempted. In fact, it was so week, I don't think it can even be called a burn. It's just a meandering, useless mumble in text form. Try again.; 12 July 2007 01:48
Eno said...: Yeah, I say if you're just doing it for fun, why the hell not? Just like webcomics themselves, listening to "fans" and doing what they say instead of being true to what you want to do is a bad idea. Consumers, or at least the kind that frequent most webcomic forums, don't know what they want: they're stupid. Also, quite hypocritical of me, but here's just a quick suggestion for a comic you could maybe review... If you want: http://www.thenewdays.com/ It's one of the most boring, mundane things I've ever put myself through. Deegan etc. are damn bad, but it's at least eventful (the events may be terrible though). Unfortunately it has no fans to speak of so might not meet your criteria, but I thought I'd throw that out there.; 12 July 2007 14:51
Anonymous said...: I'm one of those who's entertained :D; 20 July 2007 04:58
WVB said...: I read the blog, was sometimes amused, but it's too profane. It'd actually be good if it had less of the predictable homophobic-'cause-it's-funny word wedges. More brutal insights, yes. Less sophomoric name-calling, please. This could be great if it were sharper, not smarmier.; 06 August 2007 14:20
Anonymous said...: I have forwarded you blog to at least 60 people.; 16 August 2007 05:41
John Solomon said...: Boo to that.; 21 August 2007 05:57
jp said...: Of course you get a ton of this shit. People don't like being told their shitty webcomic is shitty. But it needs to be done. And you're the best I've seen at it, so far. I love this blog!; 29 September 2007 17:54
Mike said...: Damn. I just started reading this thing...blog, whatever, got the link off of fullyramblomatic.com, and so far I think it's hilarious. I know that there are some reviews of comics I have read and enjoyed, but I don't think that much of my own tastes, so having someone who knows more about what is and what is not good writing is actually helpful. Instructive, even. I can sit down and look at the crap I was spending time reading and go...no..wait...Sluggy Freelance really is a piece of crap. Etc. Also, I came very close to starting my own shitty, under-researched, poorly written and poorly drawn web comic. If I made it, it would be bad. And I would FEEL bad. Seriously though, I know this is like months after the fact but don't let the bastards get you down. Keep up the good work, because it IS good work. Even when I don't agree with you it's very funny.; 03 October 2007 18:50
AceK said...: Just to let you know I have not linked to you. Hope that helps.; 22 February 2008 13:54
Wanker G. Spot said...: You can't stop me.; 16 March 2008 01:35

Monday, October 15, 2007

Your Webcomic is on Hiatus and You Should Go Home

Monday, July 9, 2007

A Word of Warning

36 comments:

Friday, June 29, 2007

STOP LINKING TO ME FOR CHRIST'S SAKE

96 comments:

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